Sound Check

So, on my six hour drive back from my mom’s house, I began to think back on 2007. Naturally, I had the music pumping and started calculating my favorite tunes of the year. Oddly enough, most of the songs made me think about my partners in crime and some of the moments we’ve had to them, whether road trips or jamming out in the club before the doors opened.

At any rate, without further ado, my Top 15 Tunes for 2007:

15. "Who Knew/U + Ur Hand" | Pink (DJ KC/Ashley K/E/Alyssa/Heather D/Ferg/ JD)

14. "Big Love (Rub-A-Dub Mix)" | Peter Heller (DJ BB/DJ KC/DJ Phil B/DJ Joe G)

13. "Fidelity" | Regina Spektor

12. "Love Like This" | Natasha Bedingfield (Ashley K, Ferg, E)

11. "No One" | Alicia Keys (Ferg, E)

10. “Raise the Roof” | Tracey Thorn

9. “It Ends Tonight” | All-American Rejects (Genre/Diego/JD)

8. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” | Fergie (E/DJ KC)

7. “The Heart of the Matter” | India.Aire (DG)

6. “Booty Bangs (Bill Hamel Mix)” | Jesse Malay feat. Young Joc (BH)

5. “Automatic" | Ultra Nate' (Ashley K, Ferg, E, DJ KC)

4. “Give It To Me (Jeremy Word Mix)” | Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake (DJ BB/E)

3. “Let Me Think About It” | Ida Corr vs. Fedde La Gant (BH/DJ CJ/DJ KC)

2. “Just Fine (David Morales Mix)” | Mary J. Blige (Ferg/E/DG/Ashley K)

1. “Apologize” | OneRepublic (for the record, E, JD, Bill Berdeaux and I discovered this long before the heavy airplay or their appearance on SYTYCD – no, seriously, ask the cleaning crew at WETbar)

And even though they’re quite older, these are my audio muses going into 2008:

-“Someone To Hold” | Veronica
-“Switch Up” | Paul Oakenfold feat. Ryan Tedder
-“They Say Vision (Robbie Rivera Mix)” | Res
-“Dive” | Debby Holiday
-“Am I Here Yet? (Return to Sender)” | Billie Myers

It’ll all make sense later, I promise.

Fuh-Cough

"Anything you can do I can do better..."

And, a bit more apropos...

Choose life.

Choose a job.

Choose a career.

Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life...

It's not my drama, I ain't playing any guest roles in it. Nor will I endorse or represent the former life, be a touch tone to it or a reminder. Fuck that. Go, live that fabulous fucking life. Just don't expect me to fake a smile on my face while you try to convince yourself life is so much better. My life is just fine, fine, fine. I just don't need someone that hit it to another country to downplay it.

My turn. Fuck Off.

Overload

So much going on - it's kind of hard to prioritize.

So, here's a list

-Brazil bookings, hello Sao Paolo and Rio de Janeiro in 2008
-Reality TV Show, yeah long story - still in denial about that one
-Bring that beat back - I'm trying that's all I'm saying
-Holidays - bah humbug

Who Woulda Thought?

So, while I was in agonizing pain over the weekend, I learned that:

-In Snickerdoodle cookies, there are no Snickers parts; it's a spice cookie. Yeah, the entire time I thought it would have the same components as a Snickers bar - you know caramel, peanuts, chocolate, nougat. Wow, I played myself on that one. Talk about the disappointment of cinnamon and nutmeg when expecting a candy and cookie party.

-Flesh eating zombies can run pretty fast and swim too! Thanks to the movie 28 Weeks Later for that.

-And, thanks to Ferg, I now know that human heads weigh an average of eight pounds. And, that's without hair, hair product, jewelry or necks.

Damn, I'm Getting Old

Ok, so I was cruising YouTube today and somehow ended up watching LIVE videos.

I had a moment to this one:


I f'n love this song. And then, I realized it was released 10 years ago.

Damn, I'm getting f'n old.

72 Hours

In less than 72 hours, all hell breaks loose; the ISM returns to the ATL.

My liver has already jumped out the window in fright.

Holiday Slump

It's kinda odd but I'm so ambivalent towards the Holidays this year. Maybe it's the Inconvenient Truth type weather (Atlanta is logging in at a 70 degrees and sunny) or perhaps it's knowing after the holidays that play time is over.

Yeah, maybe that's it.

I mean I've been doing everything I would normally do during the holidays - the parties, the shopping, the blitz of holiday movies but it's all kind of just bland as a whole. The sum of the parts are rather scintillating, but as a whole just a lotta lackluster. Perhaps I'll consult the oracles (see: friends).

Golden Compass

Super hot. Hands down, just a brilliant picture.

Nicole Kidman never looked better - talk about muggin' the house DOWN.

Ferg and I were completely spellbound the entire movie. I need a morphing demon, an armored polar bear, a guardian witch and Daniel Craig as my uncle.

And, is the alleged religious uproar over the movie for the same reasons as the anti-Harry Potter movement? Because, to me, it was just a well executed modern fable. Jesus freaks, please step down - you're killing the nation's imagination, not to mention my buzz.

Can someone please explain it to me, cause I. Don't. Get. It.

Class, discuss.

Addendum:
Just out of curiosity I went to the official Golden Compass website thanks to a tip by RB and got a daemon assigned to me. Her name is Clymonistra and she's a crow.

I'm not too happy about it, I was kind of hoping for a dolphin cause they're sleek and pretty - not practical, but cool nonetheless. My second choice was a rhino because it can plow over everyone else's daemon.

I told RB about my crow and after he bragged about his snow leopard ("just like Daniel Craig") he told me this about crows:
John Faa, the leader of the Gyptians has a crow. And, the Crow is the soul of magic and link to the spirit world (alchemical symbol).

Sorry Clymonistra, you're pretty dope.

Nibbley Things

So, it's been a rather interesting week. So busy, in fact, I almost forgot the "LA Hubby" was coming into town. LA Hubby is my dear friend Andrew, the CEO of Tango Blues Entertainment. We bonded during my time at MOISTbar. We booked so much of his talent that I spoke to him at least four times a day. It got to the point where if either of us was on the phone that anyone in the room with him or me just assumed we were on the phone with one another. Hence, I became his "ATL hubby" and he has become the "LA hubby."

This past Thursday, he came into town with two of his newest artists in tow - Shaun and Paul from the new season of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. I recruited my own entourage of pretty people - Ferg, Chase and Josh who all graciously agreed to come to dinner at TWO Urban Licks.

It was so good to see Andrew again. He's just one of my favorite people in the world. Shaun and Paul are pretty cool too and totally not what I expected them to be. Ok, not to be busy, but I was expecting them to be a girl and bigger girl. Not at all, one was almost roughneck/thuggish while the other was just quiet and mellow. I will say this though, those bastards can f'n drink. And, I mean to the last man standing point. No, seriously.

Dinner was great - for the company. This was the first time I've ever been disappointed with TWO Urban. Don't get me wrong, the food was still really tasty (see: Pork and Macaroni and Cheese), but the service su-u-u-u-u-u-ucked. But, it was the first time it's ever sucked so I'll totally go back, but if it happens again, I may have to search for a new favorite restaurant to entertain out of town guests.

Ok, that's a wrap until Monday, I have to get my butt in gear. Tonight is Chase's husband's 30th birthday and I promised I'd give them a hand.

Proceed With Caution

I'm in a truth-telling mood. It's probably best I keep to myself today.

'Tis the Season

Last night was the Annual Toy Party. If there are two events in Atlanta that I make it a point to get to every year, it's Joining Hearts in July and Toy Party in December. Both are just such good causes that you can't help but have a good time.

So, here's the deal, you buy a toy and bring it with you to the event. You play dress up, donate the toy and drink the house down. Yeah, good times. Even better is the shopping expedition to buy the toy with the boys. This year, it was at Target with Ferg, E and CC. While all of us ended up buying toys for boys (I picked the Diego Lego Set), I noticed some were spending way too much time with the Barbies and Bratz Dolls. We won't talk about Ferg debating on the robot puppies. But, yeah, they were definitely cute.

As per usual, by the time the event rolled around, several people up and cancelled. But, alas, Ferg was still game and Ad-Rock was already en route. We had a blast. One of the reasons why I adore this event is all the people you run into that you haven't seen in ages. Everybody loves a good benefit. I suspect it's cause it makes them feel so cosmopolitan, you know? Ferg and I ran into some of our favorite alcoholics - xoxoJeffrey, Alfono and AtlantaBoy. We also ran into some ex-trade here (mostly Ferg's Spicy Chicken) and there and a whole lot of cuteness that doesn't exist in the bar and club scene. I coulda swore that was Anderson Cooper. But, bygones.

Now, the trick to enjoying yourself at Toy Party is to work the drink lines. One never really stands in line for the cocktails, you simply walk up and down until you discover somebody you know towards the front, feign a conversation and kind of merge into them. Either that or hand your tickets off and ask them to order your drink for you. I discovered this nifty trick years ago and it works like a charm. It beats the fifty plus person deep line at each bartender.

I also learned that you hit it out of there no later than 8:30 or risk getting stuck in the Parking Garage for up to 45 minutes killed down. Yeah, once you do that with NPB in the car with you, you kinda learn not to take your chances. We ended up at Joe's cause I was s t a r v i n g and was able to convince Ferg to eat with me. He's always so good and orders some fried chicken salad thing. I go straight for the fried stuff dipped in heavy sauces. Ah well, 'tis the season and all that...

F'n Planetary Alignments...

I'm guessing Mercury must be in retrograde again cause communication is all kinds of f'ed up.

First, my Adium goes all haywire and all I can get out of it is the little beachball of death. For Mac users, you know it as the beachball, for PC users, it's pretty much a spinning color wheel that means "Error, You're F'ed." Also for PC users, Adium is a nifty little program that combines your AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger and MySpace Chat into one box.

Next, I try calling Ferg and his outgoing message says that his voicemail box has not been set up. Umm, yes it has, I talk to it on a regular basis.

Now, RB has claimed to hang himself if I'm not online to talk him down off the chair. That may be a little extreme, but it's nice to know I do some good in the world.

Finally, ninja DG lost his tennis racket in a cab. This really has nothing to do with this post, but I kinda think it's funny. And, we all know how much I like to end things on a funny note.

ADDENDUM:
Ok, so if you're using Adium and you have AIM, MSN and MySpace on there, you're bound to have difficulties. Go ahead and disengage the MySpace Chat cause that's what's fucking you up. If you MUST have it, disengage it prior to shutting it off and then enable it AFTER you sign on.

Just One More Hit, I Promise i Can Deal With It

This past Tuesday, I scored some tickets to the Kelly Clarkson concert up in Cobb County. Apparently, it’s only the second show in the venue with Annie Lennox being the first. Yeah, I’m still kicking myself for missing that.

For the record, I’m a semi-Kelly fan. I’ve dug most of her releases. Would I have gone if the tickets weren’t a business write-off or really good seats? Eh, probably not. But, I’m glad I did.

The funniest part about getting the tickets was my back and forth IMs with my ninja boss, DG. It went something like this:

DG: I got your tickets for tonight…
ME: Oh to the Miss Independent/Miss Almost Dropped From My Label Tour?
DG: No, that was last year, this year it’s the “Break Away from the Billboard Chart” Tour
ME: I hope she goes in chronological order of her singles and opens with “A Moment Like This”
DG: I doubt it, now is not a moment she wants to remember

Yeah, we can be pretty vicious all jacked up on caffeine. At any rate, Ferg was able to go with me and for business purposes I also roped along RB and AS. Ok, so here’s my thing, if you have to do stuff for business reasons, make sure the people you’re doing it for are actually pretty fun. And, this time around, they definitely were.

As with most concerts, I had my short list of songs that I hoped she would perform. They’re both of the darker and rocker variety, so I knew the chances were really good that she’d do them. And, yeah, she did. The two were “Addicted” and “Walk Away.” And, I have no shame in reporting that I sang along to the former and wiggled it a little bit to the latter.

Ferg, RB and AS however were bouncing up and down every single time Kelly did her little onstage hop. Can we talk about RB knowing every single f’n lyric of every f’n song? I ain’t mad atcha playa, I would have been that way for the Annie show I’m quite sure.

Did I mention we were all pretty buzzed too? Well, we kinda had to be. A) We were in Cobb County B) there were a lot of kids in there and that’s of the under the age of 15 variety and C) there were some pretty killing queens there too. Oh, and a little tip to anyone that is thinking about heading out to a show in Cobb, your choices of shots are pretty limited. There’s Grand Marnier and low level tequila (no Patron) but everything else is just everything chilled or neat.

Umm yeah, three shots of vodka chilled and a Jack Daniels neat for RB, thanks. Just driz-uunk.

I digress, back to the show. Kelly’s wardrobe was a mis-fire as per usual. One outfit the entire show with the exception of the very beginning where she had the signature red gown on from all of “My December’s” promotional material. Underneath she had the outfit she would wear the entire show, a royal blue empire waist top and black slacks. At half time she would throw a black vest over it.

Yeah, boring. Can we get some pretty sparkly things on her please?

The set design was pretty weak too come to think of it. The girl is definitely concentrating on her mega-hits and her personality to carry her from show-to-show. I ain’t mad at her though. Those are her strong points. She really does have this uncanny ability to draw the audience in.

She did most of her chart-toppers and a lot of stuff from the new album – my favorite being “Chivas” a song she claims to have written on a bunch of bar napkins according to the pre-cursor story she told before performing it acoustically.

Wardrobe was a 6.5; Stage Setting also at a 6.5; Song Selection was a solid 10; Crowd banter was a strong 9. At the end of the day, I’m definitely glad I went and was really happy with the crew that I went with.

Now, the afterparty at Swinging Richard’s is a whole other blog…

Mmm, bananas. Ha, Ferg.

Merge and Keep With The Flow of Traffic

Anyone that knows me knows that I do my best to take the High Road. I think it's because I believe in the old Grand Puba cut - 360 - What Goes Around Comes Around. However, this totally conflicts with my current mindset which is "get them before they get you."

Now I'm at this point in the road where the High Road and the Low Road kind of merge. I think it's about time to just keep with the flow of traffic.

After some thought, yes, things in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear. This just means that what goes around is coming around that much closer.

Bored now.

Anti-Social

So, after Thanksgiving, I've spent the past couple of nights just relaxing by myself. Usually, in one weekend I see an entirely different rotation of friends each day. This past weekend, however - zip.

I think I'm just feeling anti-social. Perhaps it's the Holidays, which always tend to make people feel one way oor the other - no grey areas there.

Either that or it's the Buffy-crack I've been addicted to. You see, I caught one episode on tv and randomly asked my buddy RB a question about the Vampire Slayer. Low and behold, the man has the entire series of Buffy on DVD (and has even given me the Angel crossovers to boot). So one by one, he's been loaning them to me like a Buffy-dealer.

Honestly, the show is really good, a fact backed up by actually ranking in TV Guide's Top 25 Best TV Shows of ALL TIME.

Wow, I'm actually defending my addiction.

A true sign of an addict.

Ok, I'm going back to being anti-social again.

Gobble Gobble, Bitches

All right boys and girls, just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. All apologies for the mass message, but you know I’m quite popular.

If you’re traveling, please be safe as there’s a bunch of alcoholics like me on the road.

Have fun, stay away from the tofurkey and most importantly, enjoy the time with the friends and family.

Cheers,
Arman

Dear Tyler,

I know you're not feeling well, so I'll cut you some slack.

I just ask that you stop projecting, stop trying to "own me," and furthermore, please stop acting like you ain't from 'round here.

Enough with the "sod," "bloody," "wanker," "sort," and any other British lingo you may have picked up.

I'm all about progress, but seriously? C'mon now.

Love Always,
Arman

PS I hope you feel better soon and I can't wait to pimpslap, I mean see you in a few weeks.

Go 'Head Mary...

There are several artists that would comprise the soundtrack of my life. Annie Lennox, Everything but the Girl and Mary J. Blige would definitely have the most tracks on that soundtrack.

Well, the latter done did it again. Here newest single is just sick.



The lyrics:
You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it’s something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna…..Woooh

Let it go……
Can’t let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can’t let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Aint worried about you and what you gonna do
I’m a lady so I must stay classy
Got to keep it hot, keep it together
If I want to get better
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

I aint gon’ let nothing get in my way
(I ain't gone let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way)
I ain’t gon’ let nothing get in my way
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It’s a really good thing to say
That I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain’t gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Copy that, Mary J.

Too Many TImes Before

I've had Maroon5's "This Love" in my head since I woke up this morning. I have no idea why, I haven't heard it in weeks.

Patti is in town again this weekend for WETbar's 2nd of its Two Anniversary Events. Which I designed. Anyway, bygones.

She's so on LA time. I crashed at around 2am last night, she was still awake watching Harry Potter when I got up to use the bathroom at 6am. And, now? Well she's totally passed out on the couch - she never made it to her bed.

I love that she crashes here everytime she's in town - it's kinda great.

Any who, Phil, Kristine and JP are in town this weekend. We're all supposed to have dinner either today or tomorrow.

Updates on that later - this love has taken its toll on me, she says good-bye - damn it. I hear you Adam Levine.

Big GAY Survey

Answer truthfully so your myspace friends can know a bit more about you. It's fun!

Body:
1. How Old Were You When You Knew You Were Gay?
Don’t remember the age – I came to grips with it at around 17 though.

2. Have You Ever Had Sex With The Opposite Sex?
Once. We were f’n plastered. Come to think of it, I dunno if I was good.

3. Who Is The First Person You Came Out To?
My dear friend Yanique. She knew before I did.

4. Are You Out To Your Parents?
Parent. She rocks about the entire thing.

5. Do You Want Children?
Perhaps. I love my nieces and nephews to pieces so based on my adoration for them, yes.

6. Do You Have More Gay Friends or Straight Friends?
I’d like to think a fair balance, but the truth of the matter is that they’re mostly of the rainbow flag carrying persuasion.

7. Were You Out in School?
Nope, not in that backwoods town. College was a different ball game. Ha, balls.

8. Is Your Best Friend The Same Sex As You?
I don’t have a best friend. I have a very close circle of friends. And they’re of a variety of sexes – male, female, m-t-f, f-t-m and I love them unconditionally.

9. If Your Best Friend Is The Same Sex, have you ever kissed them?
Yes, I kiss my friends. But, not in the tongue wrestling kind of way.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
Yes, the mid 90’s fried the hell out of some of my brain cells.

11. Have You Ever Been In A Sling
Nope, not my gig.

12. Have You Ever Done A 3-way??
Nope, not my gig.

13. Have You Ever Dressed In Drag?
Again, not my gig. I book them on a regular occasion though.

13a. Would you date a Drag queen?
Trying to remember if I have.

14. Are You A Top/Bottom or truly Versatile?
Not without dinner and cocktails first…

15. Have You Seen An Uncircumsized thingy?
This is America…

16. Have You Had Sex With Someone of A Different Race?
Yes.

17. Have You Ever Barebacked?
Not without dinner and cocktails first…

18. How Many Cher CDs do you own?
Umm, at least three. Hey now, in a former life I was a music critic for a gay magazine – you do the math.

19. Name Of Your First True Love?
Wes

20. Do You Still Talk To them?
Not really, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

21. Does size matter..?
Not as much as chemistry.

22. Biggest Turn Ons?
Quiet confidence, intelligence, sly smile, fashionable tastes
23. Biggest Turn Offs?
Trying too hard, obnoxious, being inconsiderate

24. Ever Been Harrassed Because You Are Gay?
Honestly, I can’t say that I have been.

25. Worst Gay Stereotypes That Applies to you?
Label whore, extracurricular activities, snide comments

26. Ever Been To A Pride Rally?
I’ve helped organize them.

27. Would You Marry If You Could?
Definitely.

28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich. The other three I’ve got down to a science.

29. Do You Sculpt Your Eyebrows?
Yes, they’re trimmed.

30. Do You Trim Your Body hair?
I almost put this down as Number 25.

31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
Yes, also in the mid 90’s.

32. Ever been to an orgy?
No, I don’t even watch them on pornos.

33. Have you dated your best friends ex?
Negatory – that is such bad form.

34. Would you vote for Hilary Clinton if she ran for president?
With no hesitation. I hope Barrack considers running as her Vice.

35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
Isn’t she a tranny in Orlando?

36. Do you believe in true love?
I’m back and forth on this one

37. Do you have any tattoos?
No, too permanent.

38. Do you have any piercings?
Several.

39. Would you date a smoker?
Every guy I’ve ever dated has smoked.


42. Do you know what Stonewall was?
I personally think it should be a requirement for anyone that attends any Pride event across the country. In short, yes I do.

43. Wonder Woman, Xena or The Halliwell Sisters
Kristine W., Deborah Cox, Ultra Nate’

44. Strangest place you have had sex?
I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to that – showers, bed, couch.

45. Strangest place you've woken up?
Bathroom floor.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
In front of me, for sure. The past was just a warm-up.

47. Favorite porn movie?
Don’t have one in particular, I have favorite scenes though.

48. Are you in love now?
Yes, with myself. It took a while.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
I’ve lusted after, but not fallen in love with one.

50. Did you ever have sex with them?
No, but I’ve made out with some “straight” guys before.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Yes, completely on accident.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Yes, years ago when my roommate did the financials for one and his car broke down. I took a tour when I picked him up.

Just Missed It

So, CC decided the old theme of my blog was orange. Umm, not so much. It's green.

After he mentioned it, I decided I wanted my old template back. I'm keeping the new tagline though. It's where I am NOW.

It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day...

Today was an extremely productive and good news yielding day.

I'm so f'n excited.

To celebrate, I actually changed up the look of my blog for the first time in like over a year. I really like it.

Thoughts?

Yawn

So, I just checked out a couple of my favorite bloggers and realized either a) they've gotten really domestic and boring or b) I can't relate to them anymore. There are certain bloggers whom I have a certain affection for simply because of the way they zing up an otherwise ordinary tale (see: boysbriefs), but even their concentration has been off its mark as of late.

Not to say that Guest List is that much more interesting, cause truth is even I get bored with myself talking about various gigs, family and friends.

Fuck me, I'm getting old.

(Sidebar: I've been keeping a journal of a side project I'm working on and when that comes into the execution phase of the project, I'll probably backtrack and post it. Right now, it's in the conceptualization phase which is proving to be a nice swift kick in the arse to the creative mind, not to mention an inspiration to the creatively stagnant. You guys can thank me later.)

Get On It, Wench

Dear Tyler,

I have successfully comment bombed you on your blog and Ferg's blog. If you're going to be up for hours before Ferg or me, then you better get on it, wench. Please have something clever up on your blog or a witty retort for a previous day's post.

All this "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UP" nonsense is so beneath you. You are, after all, up against my exquisite wit.

Love Always,
The Supreme Master of the Universe (say it with me now)
Arman

PS For those of you who do not know the dynamic of our friendship - this is pure sarcasm. Don't think of me as too much of a jackass. Cheers!

Free Your Mind, Indeed

If someone told me a year ago that I'd be negotiating a contract with En Vogue, I would have laughed in their face. Yeah, I really am. Neat.

So, in honor of the occasion - my favorite En Vogue videos - "Whatever" and "Free Your Mind."





Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'ISM!

Can I Get WIth Ya' Baby?

"Let me think about it."

I am so f'n addicted to this track. LOVE IT. My dear friend BH sent me the extended mix and then the link to this video. Needless to say this track has been on repeat all day.

I love the fact that cutie vanilla latte jumps his happy ass in that pool of go-diva chocolate.

Yay for the Danish! All I'm saying is they needed to do something to redeem themselves from f'n Aqua. Barbie Girl, indeed.

I am not mad at the black light friendly finge either.

It's All About Me

I haven't been feeling top shelf lately. I think I'm battling something - I blame JD. He was under the weather last week and convinced all of us he wasn't contagious. Well, at least I might have that really sexy, deep voice he was sporting towards the end of his illness - pure baritone.

At any rate, I discovered this personality test while I was incapacitated so I figured I'd go ahead and take it to convince myself I'm not neurotic. As it turns out, I'm "low neurotic." Yay, me.

Here are the rest of the details:

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Cause Our Run Will Never Be Over, Not At Least Until We Say...

A lot going on - nothing printable.

Update soon, I promise.

Screaming at me, stop.

Ha, sorry for the Yoda/Jar Jar Binks moment.

Mmm Hmmmm

So I was having a blue day today. There really wasn't a particular reason for it. Perhaps it was the weather or just my time of the month, who knows?

I decided a little indulgence was in order and hopped in my car to the local Publix. And, before any of you start, they've got great carrot cake and brilliant chicken wings. I rounded up my selections and checked out.

As I was carrying my bag of goodies to my car, I ran across two Publix cashiers on a smoke break. I smiled as they carried on amongst themselves, louder than life and not a care in the world.

One sees me and taps the other one on the shoulder, pointing directly at me.

"Oh girl, he is scary cute."

To which the other girl stares at me and says "scary cute is right, mmm hmmm."

I love Publix.

Do A Little Dance

Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of something amazing? Yeah, that's where I'm at right now.

All I can do is smile.

Get ready y'all, here comes the boom.

Friends and Family

Life is back to normal, well normal for me. For a second there, things were a bit odd with the family. And when I say family, I actually mean my friends - one in the same I think.

True friends are like a big dysfunctional family; you wanna kill them sometimes but at the end of the day, you still love them. Life is a balance - life and death, good and bad, ying and yang. Even your best of friends you have to disagree with sometimes. That's just how it is.the trick is weighing out whether it's worth the drama. Usually, it is.

My favorite example is the 'ism. For years, we were just cordial to each other. As fate would have it, we're back in each other's lives.. Granted, she's thousands of miles away, but it's just geography. The heart is in the right place, you know?

You just can't walk away from friends forever, I mean you just can't disown them like you can family.

;-)

And End Scene

Patti is already back in LA. She is such an amazing person. I love how she compliments everyone she comes across.

I think one of my favorite parts of her visit was cocktails and light nibbles with DJ JM and his husband. They are such the charming couple and the four of us just dishing on our favorite tunes, DJs and such was just big fun.

We also just relaxed and enjoyed each other's company. This is a first for us as usually when we're in the same vicinity, we are working, coordinating and just drive-bying.(See: Pride, Anniversary)

I love the fact that we are as silly as school kids when we are together and that we pick up right where we left off every time. But, alas she's back in LA and I've got a whole lot of stuff in front of me. So, far now, it's an end scene. At least, that's what they say in LA.

From LA to ATL

So my dear friend Patti is in town and is staying at my place. I've known Patti for ages and she has become such a support structure for me at first on business type stuff and now more personal.

She is awesome and my west coast ninja.

Did I mention all my friends dig her too?

Now if I can only get my east coast ninja to work with my wset coast one.

Home, Sweet Home

Coming home to Ocala is such a trip to me. Seriously, there's nothing to do here but babysit.

Today, I took my nieces to Chuck E. Cheese. Ok, can we talk about all the DILTF? Just wow. I could barely concentrate on my shoot em' up game. But, defeat the aliens I did with the help of this six year old whose mom was steady eyeing me like I was on her "to do list." She was just a bit too enthusiastic about every alien I popped and each time I bailed her son out of instant death via acid blood.

I played Skee-ball, longed for a Jaeger mini-bomb, ate pizza and wings, craved a strawberry and seven with a splash of cranberry, donated my won tickets to my niece, jonesed for a peach Errol shot and made dinner for the kids. Did I mention I need a drink?

Yeah, Tuesday. Drinks. Last bitch standing. That's all I'm saying...

Hair Did

I'm bored. With my ultra-Midtown gay boy haircut. So, E is on his way over and I'm getting him to give me a mohawk. He suspects it's because I'm visiting my mother.

Well, the cool thing is that a mohawk is a perfectly acceptable haircut in my profession. It shows a bold attitude, a contemporary impression with a nod to rock and roll free thinking.

Yeah, I asked my boss his opinion first. Shut up.

it's Just Dem Rainy Dayz...

It's raining. My roof is leaking. The cable is out.

On the upside, it should get cooler out, Patti will be here in a week and I get to skip outta town soon.

And, the countdown begins - the 'ism returns to Atlanta in 71 days.

From PM to AM

Ever since stepping away from directly working for a night club, getting up at the butt crack of dawn to escort disco diva Thelma Houston to her Fox 5 gig with Ferg and dealing with DG and his early bird catches the worm mentality, my sleeping schedule has shifted.

I'm now getting up long before noon and utilizing the morning hours for other activities aside from sleeping in. And, I'm kinda digging it.

Don't get me wrong, I'll always have a tendency to stay out late and pay homage to my former raver roots, I just won't be doing that nightly anymore. And I'm ok with it.

I mean I've always loved breakfast food and now I can enjoy it during its appropriate time frame. Neat.

He's the Man...

So, I just spent the weekend hanging out with my boss, DG. Well, sorta. I call him my boss, but he doesn't treat me like a subordinate, more like a peer. He respects my opinion and entrusts certain information that really wouldn't classify as a normal work relationship. And, that makes him that much fucking cooler. Hell, my ex-boss thinks DG is the shit. Hey, you know how I roll, bitches.

I can totally tell this won't turn into one of those awkward alpha-male situations either. Oh, and my friends all wanted to jump his bones. That would result in a stabbing I think. Actually, I know. I mean, one friend, we won't mention any names did not heed the collective warning of the group dynamic and stay away from the boss man. The end result was less than cozy. If it happens again, well, I think the group will be a little more apt to get to the bludgeoning. I'm just stabbing.

On tap:
Business trips to NY and Ft. Lauderdale
A visit to Mom

Posse, up.

Addendum to SURVEY SAYS...

Ok, so my dear friend (arguably BESTEST) Tyler Gambrell from London by way of umm Athens, Georgia to Atlanta, Georgia brought to my attention that I regrettably omitted her presence from question #40 - Favorite friend to get completely hammered with (or something like that).

I dearly apologize for that simply because of all the friends listed, even added up with each other, Tyler still has oh about five years worth of hungover moments over them collectively.

I heart Tyler with all my umm, heart and liver and want to take the opportunity to make amends for it.

I LOVE YOU TYLER!

(Oh and honorable mentions also go out to Patti, Phil B and Andrew.)

CHEERS, bitches!

Survey Says...

1. You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
Neither of us, we're VIP like that.

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt a new name. What is it?
Jimmy Choo

3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently:
I don't really have any animosity towards one state in particular. Anything on the "bible belt?"

4. What was the last song you downloaded?:
"Fidelity," Regina Spektor

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Yoda, 401k trade down

6. A toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
A Go-Cart

7. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
An Inconvenient Truth

8. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
"All right, you talked me into it..."

9. You're sentenced to death and it's the morning of your execution: what do you want to eat?
Nine or ten ecstacy pills

10. What's something that most people do that you've never done?:
Learned to drive a stick.

11. Before you die you want to go to:
Nepal

12. What’s the last thing you ate?:
Arroz con pollo

13. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?:
Duck billed platypus - just to see if it quacks, purrs or squeaks

14. A drug you'll never try?
An anti-depressant

15. If you were an animal, what would you be?
Either one that can fly or swim, but hopefully not one on the endangered species list cause that means I'd be pretty lonely

16. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?:
Had to marry? Yeah, as long as Republicans are in office, I never have to worry about that.

17. What's something a lot of people don't know about you?:
Umm, I'm open about everything in my life for the most part. I don't know - that I'm deathly allergic to shellfish?

18. First celebrity crush?:
Janet Jackson

19. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?:
katana blade - sharp, sleek and umm, stabby

20. Best flavor of Runts?:
Banana

21. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?:
Sourdough English muffins

22. Favorite parody movie?:
Scary Movie 1-4, favorite character hands down is Brenda:
"Cindy, this is bones - would you run from Calista Flockhart?"

Cindy: Brenda, we're best friends!
Brenda: We was - I'm a miss you, girl!

23. Worst way to die?:
Eaten alive by a swarm of insects or burned alive or anything slow and agonizing

24. Grossest injury you've ever seen?:
3rd degree burn - uggh

25. The worst injury you've ever had?:
Nothing too horrible, knock on wood. Had a Staph infection when I was a kid that nearly killed me...

26. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?:
It's more Christmas time, but cooking with Mom is always good times.

27. Sport you hate the most?:
Baseball, Racing and Golf - they're so f'n boring, no chance of injury, well a little bit in racing but that's kinda rare

28. What state in the US do you want to visit?:
Alaska, wait that's kinda lesbian isn't it? Umm, Hawaii.

29. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?:
The human body, that way I can be a surgeon and make a killing off inventing some new way of cosmetic surgery

30. Favorite Actor/Actress?:
Actor - (tie) Johnny Depp and Alan Cumming
Actress - (tie) Merryl Streep, Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench

31. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?:
"I could care less..." umm people, it's "I couldn't care less."

32. What makes an awesome party?:
Good soundsystem and lights, excellent talent, proper execution and timing, a great team, oh wait... they were probably asking about, nevermind.

33. What's your favorite material obsession?:
(tie) D&G Sunglasses and my laptop

34. What's something that most consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
Wow, you're actually nice.

35. Favorite kind of dog(s)?:
I've always been fond of Pekingese

36. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?:
(tie) Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes and fried Twinkies

37. Morning or night person?:
Night, by far

38. Weirdest E-bay purchase?:
I don't buy stuff on E-Bay

39. It’s Saturday 3AM; where are you?:
Getting home from the club and/or still there with the staff

40. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?:
(tie) E, JD, Ferg, DJ Kim Crawford, Morganza, Genre, Rachael Pryor

41. Worst job you've ever had?:
I'm one of those odd people that actually enjoyed all of his jobs for one reason or another.

42. Favorite cereal?:
Not much of a cereal person since college, but Cinnamon Toast Crunch was always in the house

43. Movie you could watch repeatedly?:
Drop Dead Gorgeous, any of the Harry Potters, Chocolat, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (note: WILLY Wonka)

44. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?:
Told an ex they were a charity case and meant it.

45. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?:
Yup, cause I would use the D.A.D.T. policy to my advantage the second I walked up to the registration desk. My friends and I also decided we would do well in any horror movie, armageddon type scenario as well. Oh, and car chases, we would do really well in those scenarios too. War, not so much.

Please Don't Stop the Music

So I've been purchasing some very bizarre tracks recently.

From American Idol Season 6 renditions of favorites (yeah, don't ask) to forgotten old jams, I've been up and down iTunes just picking out the most random shit.

So, the ones I'm quite proud of:
"Men All Pause," Klymaxx
"If You Leave," OMD
"Disrespectful (Paulo Mix)," Chaka Khan & Mary j. Blige
"Ramalama Bang Bang," Roisin Murphy
"Whine Up," Kat DeLuna
"The Way I Are (Richard 'Humpty' Vission Mix)," Timbaland
"Fidelity," Regina Spektor (sadly I heard this song in a *gag* Abercrombie & Fitch store and was so amused by it, I asked the salesfag the name of it)

And, the "I'm a dork" collection:
"Mayberry," Chris Richardson (words can not express)
"Back at One," Brian McKnight (umm, so yeah)
"Spellbound," Sherrie Lea (oh so gay)
"Freedom ('90)," George Michael (wasn't Pride a couple months ago?)
"If You Leave," OMD (double edged sword)
"Men All Pause," Klymaxx (pure 80's indulgence)

Yeah, I don't know what to tell y'all.

Molly, you in danger, girl...

It's one of the funniest lines in movie history. When Whoopi has the task of delivering a message from the Swayze to Demi from the beyond.

"You've got to tell her she's in danger!"

"You can't just say something like that to her, let me handle it. I'll tell her in my own way. Molly, you in danger, girl."

When ever one of my friends is going through it and think they're in trouble, I instantly respond with that funny-on-so-many-levels Goldberg quip.

I've had to use it a lot lately - even on people that have nothing to worry about. It just makes me laugh. Yeah, something has to be said about my taking comedy from another person's dismay.

It's just so damn funny.

And then there's "I'm a little black woman in a big silver box getting dragged down the street."

Oh, that Whoopi.

Ahh, There's the Drama

So, one aspect of my new job is having to take meetings with all sorts, even those you would consider not so desirable.

Last week, I took a meeting with some folks that are interested in opening a new spot in town. They wanted my input because of my "vast work experience."

Now, not to be funny, but I just left that gig. I'm not really interested. I am, however, interested in the travel opportunities, great money and exciting new adventures guaranteed from working with Drive and DFL.

So, all the bar owners, promoters and managers that have been trying to feverishly get ahold of me to verify, you can relax - I'm not a threat to your day-to-day.

It is nice to know that the old adage rings true: You only have to worry when they STOP talking about you.

And, they haven't.

Where is the Drama?

So, you know when everything is perfect? Great job, great friends, great times? Well, call it parnoia or life experience, but where the hell is the drama?

I'm used to deflecting incoming potential issues, shutting down the "theatre majors," and picking off the opposition. So far, with the new gig, there has been none of it. In fact, it has been smooth sailing since jump.

My only drama, and I use that term loosely is the inevitable move to New York.

Hmm, maybe the drama is there. Or, maybe, just maybe there isn't anymore drama. Who knows? New gig, new attitude. And drama? Well, drama can take a hike. Or, maybe it already has...

Drive-Bye

Ok, so I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again - I love my new gig at Drive.

I feel like such a NYC boy now. Not that I don't love my Atlanta, it's just I've pretty much done anything and everything I could do here, well that is except for owning my own club. And even that might...never mind.

After talking to my dear friend Patti in LA, I realize that there is no cap to my potential. She recently gave me the gumption to say what I had to say to some old co-workers. It was a decompression I needed. To anyone that has never been able to tell their upper-management how they truly felt, then you know exactly how empowering it can leave you. I'm still grinning from ear to ear.

Tyler, I didn't forget about you - I'll get my ass over to Western Union later on this afternoon.

Ferg, get back to work, leave ol' blue eyes alone.

JD, wake up.

Morganza, hang in there - you're doing just fine.

E, let's rock this joint.

Patti, you don't leave unless I leave. you don't jump unless I jump.

Big K, you now have all the tools you need to cement your position. You ain't going nowhere. If you go, I go and that means EVERYONE goes.

Cheers!

Nothing To See, Folks

So, in this past week;
-Ferg has moved
-JD is recovering nicely
-E has escaped the Matrix
-Morgan has taken an AM position
-I landed some new accounts and I get to work the Tiesto event with Curtis

Ok, gotta run and see if JD wants to have lunch. If he is awake/not grumpy/doped up on pain medication, then we are good to go. I'm in the mood for pasta.

Listen Up...

So I checked my Top Played MP3s again and it seems there's been a huge shake up. My listening patterns are somewhere between grooved out and heartfelt lyrical.

10. "Suddenly I See," KT TUNSTALL
9. "Am I Here Yet," BILLIE MYERS
8. "This Ain't A Scene...," FALL OUT BOY
7. "Big Girls Don't Cry," FERGIE
6. "Someone To Hold (Hard Edit)," VERONICA
5. "Raise The Roof," TRACEY THORN
4. "Over My Head (Cable Car)," THE FRAY
3. "They Say Vision (Robbie Rivera Mix)," RES
2. "It Ends Tonight," ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
1. "Apologize," TIMBALAND f. ONE REPUBLIC

First Reactions

My buddy Mike from Orlando posted this on MySpace today. It's been a while since I had done one of those quiz things, so I thought this would be pretty fun.

Okay this is called “FIRST REACTIONS QUIZ”. I have reacted to being sent this by actually filling this out. You have to type the 1ST thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 35 things. You can’t think and go back and change your answers. Copy and Paste, add one to the list, then delete answers to make them your own.

Here we go:

1. Beer: before liquor, never sicker.
2. Anorexic: She's skinny, Amber.
3. Relationships: tough
4. Purple: Hooter Shooter
5. Power Rangers: Isn't one of them doing gay porn now?
6. Weed: Not so much anymore.
7. Steroids: Dick shrinker.
8. Cartoons: Niece and nephew.
9. The President: Hillary.
10. Tupperware: Gotta wash my dishes.
11. Best vacation: Time off
12. Santa Claus: pedophile.
13. Halloween: Good times.
14. Bon Jovi: Slippery When Wet.
15. Grammar: Country
16. Facebook: Who?
17. Worst fear: Being lost and alone.
18. Marriage: Ambitious.
19. Paris Hilton: Not a bit of talent
21. Redhead: The Fray, The Weasleys
22. Blonde: Ambition
23. Pass the time: Nap
24. One night stands: Uninterested.
25. Donald Trump: I need some money.
26. Neverland: Finding, Johnny Depp, yay!
27. Pixie Sticks: hate tart candy
28. Vanilla ice cream: only if i can see the vanilla bean specs
29. High School: rotted
30. Work: I heart my new job.
31. Pajamas: only in Winter
32. Woods: Blair Witch Project
33. Wet Sock: Should have worn boots
34. Alcohol: I said no, no, no
35. Love: is a many splendid thing.
36. Sexy: Attitude, Casual Confidence
37: Chewing: Gum. Polar Ice.
38. Dave: Holmes, he's gay.
39. Candy: Mini Peanut Butter cups
40. Drink: Jaeger Mini-Bomb

Checking Out

I'm in this odd place right now. Mentally, I've completely checked out of my former gig and wholeheartedly embraced my new role at Drive. As a business person, I have to do what I have to do and help this transition happen, but it's such an uphill battle. My initial impulse is always "so not my problem" and "i don't know," but you just can't do that, you know?

Ah well, now everyone can see even if I did make it look effortless, it was anything but. There's something really cool about that. I worry about my former co-workers and the only reason I'm still transitioning the club is because I truly do not want to see any one of them out on the street. That plus it's really good karma, I hope.

I am looking forward to a healthy social life again. And, this whole getting up before noon thing? Who woulda thought it's actully pretty productive and ahem, normal. I could get used to this. Well, maybe. Ok, so maybe I haven't completely checked out and just asked for a late check out.

I Heart My New Gig...

It's only been a couple of days, but I'm loving my new gig. I'm learning a lot and I have a great boss(y). He is keen to share tips of the industry with me, how to deal with problem clients (ie people like me) and how to stick it to your enemies with the stealth of a ninja.

I'm going to like the contrast of our attitudes too. While I'm more laid back and handle things with "sarcasm, sense of humor and a snide comment" kind of guy, he's more of the "shut them down and the fuck up, I'm the shit and now you know why" variety.

Oh, and my new e-mail addy is:

arman@drivenyc.com

Good times.

When One Door Closes...

...a new window opens. Or something like that. This past week ended my term at WETbar. This upcoming week kicks off a brand new adventure for me. Just to give everyone a hint - think of what I just wrapped up doing and now think of the same line of work, just on the opposite side of the contract. Yeah, it means ending up in NY or LA, but for now I'll be doing everything remotely from Atlanta. And, to be honest, I've never been so hyped up about a new gig in my life.

I think the most fitting part of it all is that I get to continue working with the people I love.

Stay tuned, y'all.

Click, Click, Click

I know it’s the weather outside and/or the possible brownout caused by everyone having their air-conditioning on maximum settings thanks to the oppressive heat, but my power keeps going in and out, in and out, in and out.

Nah, it simply can not be that easy. I decided it must be some elf, goblin, or other magical creature that thought it would be funny to play with the powerstrip my apartment is plugged into.

I love the fact that my laptop, iPod and Blackberry are fully charged and I can sit here, for the time being, jamming out to music, check my e-mail and bitch to friends via text message. What kind of sense is that?

Neat.

Anti-Depressant

All right, so I got to meet one of my favorite authors a little over a year ago. Augusten Burroughs was on a book tour promoting his, then, new book Possible Side Effects.

Yeah, so I'm just now getting around to reading it and I swear to God, it's the funniest fucking book. Ever. The man is probably one of the best story-tellers of modern times.

It is seriously the best anti-depressant since AbFab.

Validation

Ok, so those of you that know me know I can put some people up on the proverbial pedestal. Now, while most of the time I could give a shit what people say/think about me; I do appreciate a compliment now and again.

Well, one of the people whom I have an enormous amount of respect and allegiance to is nightlife guru Bill Kaelin. I consider him a mentor of sorts as he taught me so much about working in nightlife and the smoke and mirrors of PR and marketing.

Mr. Bill called me today just to tell me how impressive he found WETbar's turnaround since applying my makeover to it. Truth is that it was a team effort and the crew as a whole deserves kudos, but the compliment was an ego-boost. I kinda needed it.

To be completely honest, in my professional resume, WETbar would be one of my proudest achievements. It was just a nice validation, ya' know?

Aww, That's Nice

Have you ever had one of those perfect weekends where the birds are chirping, you don't run late, everyone seems to be agreeable, the weather is tolerable and the casualites are at a bare minimum?

Well, I never do.

Everyone's timing is usually off, people can't help but to outquip each other and SOMEONE is always passive/aggressive (ahem, Ferg).

Well, this past weekend was practically perfect in every way. Ferg was back from London and the boys all met up to catch the first of Kathy Griffin's two sold out back-to-back shows at the Fox. My only complaint was the asshole behind us who seemed to feel it was his job to repeat every one of Kathy's punchlines, except in an annoying, high pitched delivery. His cologne was rotted too.

Saturday marked the arrival of Veronica and Chad Jack back to Atlanta. I heart both of them. They're both really cool, talented people and knocked it right outta the park on Saturday night. I mean, really though Veronica did the ten minute extended mix of "Someone to Hold" and had the boys eating out of the palm of her hand. Her husband is really f'n cool too, btw.

Sunday was very laid back and unproductive. I ordered delivery twice, watched my favorite movies over and got even more acquainted with the Arman-shaped dent in the couch.

Like I said, practically perfect in every way.

Are we on COPS again?

So, the big K calls me earlier and asks if I'm near the club. I was at home, which is maybe five blocks away.

"Yup, what's going on?"

The alarm had been tripped. She suspected E was down there doing his liquor counts and perhaps set it to "Alarm Occupied," which pretty much means that there are people in the building but if someone tries to come in, they set it off. However, she couldn't get E on the phone so she would feel better if someone went down there to take a look around. The police had already been dispatched and they would meet me there.

I get to the club within minutes and see the officer outside. He checks with our security company to make sure I was on the safe list. We walk in the club and it's completely trashed.

"Yeah, you've been broken into."

I smile at him and tell him, no, that the cleaning crew doesn't come in until Monday and that the club looks exactly how we left it last night.

Everything seemed in order and we went outside to the water garden where the alarm was triggered. Sure enough, some crackhead was sound asleep on one of the couches. He tells me it "might get ugly."

I smile again, like I don't see crackheads thrown out of the club on a nightly basis. Hell, Mr. Officer even had his black gloves on - as B-Mack (our head of security) had told me when he first started "the gloves come on when shit is about to pop off."

Mr. Officer wakes up the crackhead intruder and demands what he's doing there. The crackhead says "I was sleeping, why you bothering me?"

Let's see, cause you broke into the property, triggered the alarm, had our security company call the authorities and alert management that the property had got broken into? Take your pick, all of them apply.

At this point Mr. Officer and I are extremely annoyed. C'mon now, seriously? Mr. Officer goes off and tells him he broke into the property which the crackhead argues "it's not like I went into the club and I know it's a club for white caucasians."

Umm, white caucasians?

At this point, I can't help myself.

"Do I look fucking white to you, asshole?"

He just glares at me. At this point though, he's in handcuffs and I'm, well, I'm entertained.

Mr. Officer throws the crackhead into the back of the car and then asks me for my information which I gladly give him.

Call anytime. No, seriously. Anytime.

I do a quick looksy around the club for good measure and set the alarm again. I check the R-Berry and see that both K and E had sent text messages.

E: "Cuff 'em."

K: "Press charges."

Way ahead of you kids. If I had to leave the comfort of my home on a Sunday against my will, someone is going downtown.

Conflicted

Say it with me, class. I'm conflicted. Again. So, today has been pretty interesting - I've gotten a lot of work/laundry done waiting on a package that never arrived, but you can't cry over spilled porn. (Long story and before any of y'all start - it's for work, no seriously. Hello, Thursday night is porn night - ahh, now you get it. Moving on...)

So, Ferg may not be moving to London. Part of me is jumping up and down with glee, yet part of me is sad for him because it's something he truly wanted. That same sad part is also gloomy because Tyler could use some "back home" love. See my confliction? I couldn't imagine what he's going through, but I will be there to happily fulfill my obligatory duties as his friend to kick back some shots and watch as he plays pool with the finesse of a sledgehammer.

I'm also pretty conflicted about other things. I'm second guessing some things right now and wondering if I made the right decisions. Yeah, that's the downside of being a Pisces - you analyze everything from every direction. Over and over. And then, you feel guilty about it. Or sad. Or happy. Or indifferent. But, hardly ever happy or enthusiastic.

Yeah, it's the word of the day and it seems to be spreading. Rapidly.

Uggh, not good.

Dear London,

Please stop taking away my friends.

Thanks,
Arman

Settle down, Sister

It seems E has been saying that to me a lot lately. I dunno what's wrong with me - maybe it's the full moon. While some people may be able to conceal their anguish, anxiety or aggravation, I'm the exact opposite. My face is so expressive that it gives me away every time. And, lately, it's been a look of being near volatile.

I'm hoping it's just stress related especially with ol' Bessy in the shop again and needing major repairs done and overall work stuff. All that is temporary though and relatively easy to manage, so hopefully it is just the full moon. I mean it does influence the tide and shit so it just may have an effect on emotions too. Well, that's the story and I'm sticking to it. Hmm, that is unless this funk continues.

Same Ol' Same Ol'

No new news New York wise - bit of a tongue twister that one. It's all so scintilating. We heart freelance work - especially when it comes from up north.

Play on, playas.

Some folks like to get away

Take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to Miami Beach
Or to Hollywood
But I'm taking a Greyhound
On the Hudson River Line
I'm in a New York state of mind

I've seen all the movie stars
In their fancy cars and their limousines
Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens
But I know what I'm needing
And I don't want to waste more time
I'm in a New York state of mind

It was so easy living day by day
Out of touch with the rhythm and blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily News

It comes down to reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a New York state of mind

It was so easy living day by day
Out of touch with the rhythm and blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily News

It comes down to reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a New York state of mind

I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River Line
'Cause I'm in a New York state of mind

-BILLY JOEL, "New York State of Mind"

New York, London...

Paris, Milan, Tokyo, I think it's in Japan...

I think it's more than a coincidence that Jimmy James' "Fashionista" is consistently one of my Top Played songs on me iPod. Is it because I've used it to open every fashion show at WETbar in the past year? Is it because every person I know has the rap memorized? Or is it simply a prophecy of sorts?

I think it's funny that the first "rap" in the song lists some of the more fashionable cities in the world. I think it's even funnier that it lists New York and London first.

I wonder if it's telling me something - and it's not talking about the wardrobe honey, that shit is in check.

Hey Baby, Look At Me Go...

..from zero to hero / you better take it from a geek like me / I can save you from the original dum-dums..."

So after my little break away from work, I came back with a sense of clarity. People's bullshit becomes more apparent; eupemisms disappear; you hold on to your friends with the new and improved kung fu grip. That plus, you're on your beats. And, I'm on them.

I've been a wheeling and dealing since I got back, finalizing contracts, negotiating terms and conditions and contemplating job offers. I may be in a New York state of mind. We'll see.

On tap:
-Deborah Cox tour
-Labor Day Weekend logistics
-Possible music festival
-Getting ol' Betsy fixed, she's been stuttering a bit - makes me worry
-Gomi and Jeanie 'Cha Cha Heels' Tracy

New favorite old tune:
"From Paris to Berlin," Infernal (it's so Ace of Bass, Base, whatever)

Title and first line from Jason Mraz' "Geek in the Pink"

I Hope You Know...

...I hope you know, that this is nothing to do with you / It's personal, myself and I"

So that song in all its versions became a theme song for the weekend. It wasn't so much in the meaning, but a soundtrack of sorts. E, DJ KC and I hit O-town for a brief weekend getaway. And, we had a fucking blast.

We all had been working so much and under the most stressful of circumstances that it was a much needed decompression. We ate, shopped and danced our asses off. We met up with some E's buddies at P-House (I know what you're thinking - STOP IT) and hit the dance floor. We sang along at the top of our lungs, jumped in the middle of dance circles and grooved like the bunch of retired ravers that we are. And, of course, we drank - heavily.

The chemistry between the three of us was brilliant. We discussed how on most trips, people tend to faction off into different groups. The three of us, however, seemed to be quite the cohesive trio. Even when one part broke off, the remaining parts stuck together.

Highlights:
-DJ KC playing Frogger on Orange Blossom Trail with a really close "Game Over" - scared the FUCK out of us
-DJ KC making out with a gay boy
-Veronica's "Someone to Hold," classic dance floor moment
-6:30am breakfast buffet - had not been to bed yet, walking around in sunglasses while it's still pitch dark outside
-shopping in Puma Outlet, getting reports on how the kids have been behaving badly over the weekend
-screaming at random woman trailing me in the Adidas Outlet "Why are you following me?"
-screaming at random family standing in a doorway (one of my pet peeves) "Other people fucking exist; move it."
-E's "Create-A-Parking-Spot" Service
-Jaeger
-Pear Vodka
-Mistaking a small child for a poodle

No, big girls don't cry - they laugh and giggle like little girls.

Dear Tyler,

Please take that fucking block off of your blog so the rest of us can read it and make fun of you.

Love Always,
Arman

Writer's Block

Just not in the mood to write right now. Perhaps I'll be inspired sometime soon.

The jPhone

Ok, you guys have heard me talk about me good friend JD. At any rate, JD is good for quite a few things, one of which is having the most bad ass piece of technology available and having it before anyone else. Yeah, my boy might as well be a Trekkie. At any rate, he had to be the first of the group to have the new iPhone. JUST HAD TO BE.

So, there he is with his brand new 8GB iPhone with over a zillion patents and its exclusive deal with AT&T just thinking he's a pimp. He calls to get the bitch activated, but first they have to deactivate his old phone. Now, before we get to the main punchline of the story, JD is a lot like me in the way that his lifeline is HIS PHONE. Neither of us can survive without it. I mean, I know we're not the only ones, there are plenty of y'all out there that would just turn to dust without the communication device, right?

But, I digress, they deactivate his old phone and then tell him it'll take about 48 hours to activate the new one. GOOKED. That's all I'm saying. They got his ass good. I don't mean to laugh cause that sucks, but something has to be said about the tried and true. I mean, it's not a cliche for nothing. JD said it himself, "I'm sitting here with a $600 paperweight."

Ha.

Holiday

"It's time for the good times / Forget about the bad times, oh yeah / One day to come together / To release the pressure / We need a holiday / It would be so nice..."

Less than 14 days and I get to take a much needed vacation. Five days of not worrying about ad deadlines, bookings, flights, deposits, sound checks, hitting goals, staying within budget, meal buyouts, technical riders, courtesy riders, screaming at folks to stay the hell away from my desk - NONE OF IT.

And, it's the best kind of vacation, too. Road trip. ROOOOOOOAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIP! That's all I'm saying. Where are we going? Why, the happiest place on earth of course! Well, sorta. I'm just glad some of my favorite people are coming with me to decompress - the Ferg, EBS, DJ Kim Crawford, possibly JD and perhaps one or two others. Hell to the motherfuckin' yeah.

Knowing me though, I'll be missing Atlanta after three days. However, for sanity's sake, I'm gonna take the full five days and be all smiley happy and shit.

Weekend Wrap-up:
Liquified event was amazing. We had a few glitches with the visual part of Sander Kleinenberg's set, but we won't go into detail. We followed the rider to the proverbial "T" is all I'm saying.

SKINtwo Fetish party was interesting to say the least. Most of us stood around trying to figure out how someone cleans neoprene and vinyl exactly.

On Tap:
The Muscle Pit Tour on Thursday with Robert Van Damme and Marcos Paris. It should be interesting. The "porn nights" have been getting more and more popular and Big Daddy is very encouraging about it.

On Saturday, we have Tiffany. Yes, of Celebrity Fit Club and "I Think We're Alone Now" fame. She seems really cool on the phone. We've dubbed the night "I (Heart) the 80's" and I'm going to buy the staff shirts with 80's icons on it - you know Transformers, Rubix cubes, Cabbage Patch Dolls, that type of shit. It should be good times.

All right, off to Tar-jhay to pick up some much needed supplies.

Title and first line swiped from the almighty Esther.

Snaps...

I totally have to give myself snaps for hooking up my friends Ad-Rock and the Ferg. I think they would be the perfect couple. I adore them both and they're both smart, personable and haaaawt. I get to plan the reception is all I'm saying. In Hawaii. Or London. All of my expenses must be paid by you two. That's all I'm sayin'.

UPDATE 07/05:
So, they finally met. And, Ferg who was very opinionated and talkative pre-Ad-Rock joining us for drinks, all of a sudden did a shut-the-fuck-up and couldn't do anything but smile and concentrate on the appetizers and his bellini. Uggh, my work is done. The rest is up to the chemistry gods.

WTF Was I Thinking?

So, yeah, months ago, I thought, the week after Pride is usually a ghost town in Midtown, let's book a liquified event and a Fetish party so we're guaranteed some revenue.

It's gonna be as busy as Pride. I'm hurting already - again.

Ferg, JD, E, slap me if I get ambitious again. Please.

(Sidebar: Thanks to the all powerful Tyler for sending positive thoughts to Atlanta for Pride; it really helped.)

Pride, Done.

It's over. Every year I look forward to Pride and every year I am over it by Saturday. This year was exceptionally busy and successful, not to mention chockful of stress. I won't get into any drawn out tirades because quite frankly, at this point, it's already done.

I love the staff at WETbar, they completely rallied when it was crunch time and handled themselves beyond expectation. Thanks guys, your hard work did not go unnoticed.

My LA family represented this weekend; to Patti, Andrew, JP and now the limey bastard Jules (technically he's from O-Town) I love you guys and thanks for being my cheering section when I could barely keep my eyes open.

To my divas Debby and Kristine, you two are my inspiration - hands down, "We Are Family" (dubbed the K & D remix by the staff) was the highlight of my Pride and I'm quite sure over 1200 other people's highlight as well. You two never cease to amaze me and I'm delighted to work with you over and over.

To Miss Deborah, always cool as a cucumber, always throwing it down like it ain't no one's business. You come in, do your warm up, turn the stage upside down and hit it right out the door. And, you know what? I ain't mad at ya'. You know why? Cause you gots da' hits. And, you did "Mr. Lonely." Yeah, that's my favorite Deborah song of all time. You did my second favorite too - "Things Just Ain't The Same."

Funny moment: There I was in the dj booth with Kio, Bill, Aimee, JN (the Managing Partner), LF (the owner) and several of their buddies. Deborah sings the first verse of "Mr. Lonely" and I have a moment. Not being able to restrain myself, i scream out "Work it out, bitch - you ain't sangin'!" Lee and james look at me with big ass smiles and I shrug and go back to dancing around with Bill. Ok, so not my most professional moment, but at least I'm passionate.

To my boys, Kio and Phil B. I couldn't have any one else behind my tables for the biggest weekend of the year. No worries, yeah? More table time is coming up for you two - no more extended performances I promise.

Finally, to my ATL family, JD, the Ferg, the Clanton, DJ Kim Crawford, Bill Berdeaux, Aimee ("I'm fucking invisible"), the rock EBS, Morganza; I truly would not have made it through those six days without you guys. Thanks for EVERYTHING. No, seriously. "You don't leave, 'less I leave; you don't jump, 'less I jump. You know how we do..."

All right kids, let's get geared up for the Anniversary.

DEJA VU

So, my friend Margaret was trying to get me to create a new "Pride Guide" like I did last year. Umm, well here's the thing - that Pride Guide was something I had written two years previous and because I was so busy last year, I just threw it on me blog until I had something to write that was fresh and new.

Yeah, hope springs eternal. So, in its entirety, the repost of a post that was a column from two years before that. Uh, yeah, it's still fucking funny damnit.


Pride Guide

It's here. It's fucking here! Pride truly is my favorite time of the year. A lot of work has gone into some of this year's nightlife productions so I hope you fickle fags like what we came up with. I was racing against time and had to rehash some stuff I had written in previous years with a contemporary twist. And, damnit, I'm a funny motherfucker sometimes.

At any rate, here's one of the Guest List/Fast Tracks from years past. It's funny how my advice still holds true today. Damn, I'm good.

PARK AREA GUIDELINES

Contrary to popular belief "The Bath House & Pool" you find on the Pride Map is NOT sponsored by a Membership Only Club. You will get arrested for those activities and all of your friends will laugh at you.

The same men you find in classifieds do NOT run the Massage Center found on the Pride Map. All personnel found at the Massage Center are professionals, have faces and do not announce their stats. We ask that you DO NOT bid on the personnel. You can not get a massage with full release.

The Operations Center is not there so you can get sex changes, penal implants, face-lifts, or wrinkles removed. And, no, your insurance will not cover it.

Scuba diving and skinny-dipping in Lake Clara Meer is NOT encouraged and is actually frowned upon. We will not be held responsible for any strange fungus growing out of any orifice as the result of these activities.

Religious Zealots: These people are there EVERY year. Remember, nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd; follow your mom’s sage like advice and ignore them. Getting suckered into a debate is just a waste of time. Think about it: Nothing you say will make them change their minds and put down their “God Hates Fags” signs.

***The best and easiest way to get under their skin is to have a photo shoot right next to them. Be sure to put on the cheesiest possible grin and then post the pics on the net. Even better, e-mail it on over to the Church they represent. (2006 Update: Post it on your blog or on your MySpace profile too!) Good times.


PARK FASHION FAUX PAS


If you have piercings and insist on showing them off, please remember that metal does get hot in the sun. Scarring may occur and let's face it, how attractive is that?

It may look cute when you have it on, but please consider humidity and heat as factors when deciding on your ensemble. We highly recommend reassessing your outfit if it includes any of the following materials: vinyl, velour, fur (real or faux)

Color coordinating your outfit with the frosty beverage you have in your hand is always fun. So when you're up at the Beer & Beverage kiosk, please note what you have on.

If you must incorporate a rainbow flag into your ensemble, we recommend bringing extra twine, duct tape, and/or super glue in case of those messy emergencies

In the words of Absolutely Fabulous vixen, Patsy Stone: Beware of wigs.

PARADE BEHAVIOR

Please be courteous of other hecklers during the Parade. Witty commentary does not have the same punch if repeated several times by different people.

Please be courteous of hangovers during the Parade. Bring enough aspirin for people within a five-foot radius.


Fighting for the free giveaways from each float is not necessary. There is plenty of lube and condoms available at local free clinics.


FOOD & BEVERAGE

For those of you that insist on bringing your own food to the Festival, we have provided a Safety List of things you should probably leave at home.

Sushi, Anything with mayonnaise, Jell-O, Crawfish, Sardines, Anchovies, Chitlins ,Brie, Fondue, Soufflé, Pickled Pig's Feet, Oysters on the half-shell, Pimento Cheese, Caviar and Toast Points


MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS

For your convenience, we've also created a checklist of miscellaneous items you should bring with you to the Park.

Cell phone-communication is key
Sun block-eliminate premature wrinkling
Pen & Paper-be prepared, anticipate collecting phone numbers
Sun glasses-cruise without being caught while filtering out those harmful UV rays
Deodorant and/or perfume/cologne-self explanatory
Mints and/or chewing gum-also self explanatory
Designated Driver-safety first
Contingency Code Words-assign words for use in case of emergency, this way your buddy can pull you out of messy situations. (Example: "Have you seen Phoenix?" really means "Get me away from fag.")

Everyone up to speed?

Good. I hope everyone has a wonderful Pride. Please remember to be safe from crossing the street (look both ways) to driving drunk (call a cab) to your tricks (wrap it up). I'll try to post throughout the weekend, but we all know that's probably not going to happen.

Please Forgive Me

"If I act a little strange; For I know not what I do..."

Dear Ferg and Tyler and anyone else it applies to,

Please forgive me for:
-being too sassy/bitchy
-being unavailable
-being moody
-sucking at follow through as of late
-and anything else that is out of character

I heart you.
Arman

Title and first line swiped from David Gray's "Please Forgive Me."

I Used To Think This Day Would Never Come

"I feel so extraordinary / Something's got a hold on me / I get this feeling I'm in motion / A sudden sense of liberty..."

It's here! It's f'n here! It's Pride Week and I've got too much shit to do to be fuckin' with y'all.

At any rate, I had a really good decompression last night with da' boyz. Me, E, C and JD drank the house down and played pool at Amsterdam for a few hours. No drama, lots of shit talking and plenty of mini-bombs. Damnit, I needed that.

And, now it's time to "make it work."

Title and first line from New Order's "True Faith."

Are we there yet?

Pride is whooping my ass.

I had an interesting business opportunity come my way. Color me interested.

Details forthcoming.

Spent the Day...

So, I was at the club for 12 hours yesterday. I got there at 4pm to let Ash in so she can paint. Yeah, how about some of the HSL pageant contestants and committee were pulling up just as we got there.

We made it through the pageant with few fires to put out and then hosted Alex Lauterstein. Whoa, we weren't expecting the explosion of people that jampacked the club around 12:30.

The vibe was great and we had an overall fantastic night. I ended up getting out of there around 4:15am. Now, when people say they "they spent the day" doing this or that, I just think about what an exaggeration it is. I literally spent the day at the club. Yeah, I don't care if the place catches on fire right now, I'm so not going anywhere near there until Tuesday.

I'm in pain. The bags under my eyes are in pain. Wow, if this was a test for Pride, I just failed miserably.

Curse Missed Opportunities...

Am I a part of the cure or a part of the disease?

So, attention to detail must always be paid, but I've been fucking up recently. There, I said it. Recent events have made me off my mark a bit. Now, I'm not one of those fuckers that doesn't own up to their responsibility when they do something wrong; some times I actually enjoy calling myself out.

Now, here i am trying to make sure Pride Weekend goes off without a hitch. I don't want a single fucking ripple. So far, so good right? Umm Mary, get your fucking act together, you have two events booked for the Friday AFTER Pride. Huh? How the hell did that happen?

Yeah, a slight oversight. On one hand we have the makeup date to a previously contracted event and on the other, we have a night that is a part of a bigger whole in which the club is booked for the main event. Umm, my bad.

Does anyone see the irony in this aside from me? By all accounts, the weekend after Pride should make the Club a complete ghost town. I mean, all of Midtown might as well be closed. And, here we have two large scale events dueling it out for the aftermath weekend.

(Scratches head.)

(Blink, blink.)

Maybe Big Daddy was right, perhaps I'm too efficient at my job.

Title and first line lifted from Coldplay's "Clocks."

My Water Broke...

So anyone that knows me knows I've been obsessing over Pride Weekend this year. Hell, I've been working on this fucker since November of last year. Well, if Pride Weekend is my baby, then my water just broke. We're fourteen days away - FOURTEEN! There's still so much to do, so much to arrange! Where is my windmill?

At any rate, here's our final teaser before we roll out the "real" campaign. It's sharp, no? Looking at it objectively, I do have to say it's a pretty damn good lineup. It would have been me swan song so to speak if Paul Oakenfold and Danny Tenaglia were on it.

I ain't done having babies yet.

I'll Be Damned...

So, last night, one of the city's most reputable promoters paid me quite the compliment. He said "your pride lineup is amazing." I never thought I'd hear him pay another club / promoter / bar that kind of kudos. I was kind of shocked, still am really. Thanks BC, I'm honored. And no, we're not competition. We're simply throwing events on the same night.

18 Days and Counting

Holy shit y'all. Pride is 18 days away (our week starts on Tuesday). If I don't jump on here much, it's because I'm in the weeds. Please forgive me and just keep checking back.

It's as good as here. Time to make the donuts.

Starstruck

I'm one of those jaded individuals that rarely gets starstruck. I had a conversation with Halle Berry and didn't flinch (mostly because I didn't realize it was her), told Pink I didn't like her hat (this was during her "Can't Take Me Home" days), had reality tv stars thrown out of the bar and even had dinner with JP Calderon, various porn stars, Disco and Dance floor Divas, headlining electornica acts, you know the drill.

So, tonight we are hosting Frankie Knuckles at the club. For the record, I worship the man. He has done so much for the love of my life - dance music, that I was ecstatic he took the offer to come play Atlanta and namely WETbar. Well, he called me today as he was picked up at the airport.

"This is Arman."
"Arman, it's Frankie Knuckles."
"OHMYGAWD!"
"That was funny, your voice went up an octave."

Yeah, there's no regrouping from that. Frankie Knuckles now knows I could be a borderline stalker. And, I'm ok with that. (swoon)

You Ain't Mickey...

Last Sunday, I discovered I had a roommate. I went into the kitchen for something to drink and out of the corner of my eye I saw a blur of grey jump out of a pizza box sitting on my stove. Now, before any of you start, the pizza was only an hour old. As a matter of fact, I had only eaten one slice out of it because of my really bad addiction to chicken wings.

For the record, I hate ants, spiders, cockroaches, rats and mice. HATE. It was already pretty late so I opted to hide out in the bedroom which I had armed with one of those electronic pest things. This past Tuesday, JD and I headed out to Wally Mart where i purchased three more electronic pest thingies and two glue traps which I strategically placed by the trash can and next to the stove.

Late last night after work, I threw my bag and computer on the couch and slumped down to decompress. I looked over by the trash can and noticed my glue trap was gone.

Huh? Where the fuck..

Ah ha. The glue trap had been dragged across the kitchen floor by the front legs of my roommate. Its hindlegs and tail were securely stuck to the trap. Of course, my first instinct was to to talk shit.

"Oh really? You just had to come into my apartment, didn't you?"

It just squeaked away and tried to pull itself off the trap.

"Where ya' going? No where, buddy, you're heading right on over to the dumpster where your cousins and maybe a cat will have you for dinner."

For a second there, I thought the little fucker just might break away from the trap so I took a pen and tried to squish him down more securely. All I managed to do was make his squeak even louder and wiggle more fiercely. He did make the mistake of twisting himself back onto the trap with the front part of his body.

"Dumbass. See, you should have went next door."

Yeah, looking back, I see the insanity of a grown ass man talking shit to a now helpless mouse, but c'mon now, it was a victory nonetheless.

With the mouse completely immobile on the glue trap, I felt safe enough to nudge the mouse and its new home into a garbage bag. For a second, I thought to myself, you're kinda cute now that you're not running freely all over my kitchen. But on the same token, you ain't Mickey bitch, so you gotta go.

I took my ex-roommate out the front door and headed towards the dumpster. On my way, the wind blew a leaf over my foot which made me jump about ten feet in the air. I accidentally flung the bag and watched as it hit the tree in front of my apartment building. Well, if it wasn't dead before, it is now. At least now I can say it was an accidental death.

I lifted up the cover of the dumpster and chucked the bag inside. Then, I promptly went back inside and hosed my kitchen down with disinfectant. Just to be on the safe side, I think I'll buy a couple more of those glue traps.

Dear Friends,

It is almost time for Pride. Please expect me to call in all favors owed. Ferg was the first victim as he became a Personal Assistant for Kimberley Locke this past weekend (or as I like to call him, Kimberley's "Boy Bitch").

Well, we're open from Tuesday through Sunday (June 19-24) with at least two entertainers per night - some nights have three. So yeah, kids. Expect to not just observe Pride, but be part of it. Expect to be on the float, expect to help me build a windmill and a giant elephant. Yeah, I'm serious. We're putting on the Spectacular Spectacular here.

Seriously?

I remember when I was a kid and my older or younger brother ratted me out for the most random bullshit. And then, in turn, I would rat them out for something even bigger which would distract the attention away from me temporarily. I was about to play that card again - but opted not to, deciding to keep it under me hat for another day. It is still there to play though.

An Open Letter to Rotted

Time's up. Oh and for the record, I don't do things anonymously. I'm pretty up front about it.

As much as I would love to take credit, I simply can not.

Love always,
Arman

I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

I don't feel like dancin', no sir, no dancin' today.

So HR delivered the news yesterday. it seems I wasn't the only one that was disappointed with the decision. E, M and even big K were all distraught to a degree. Actually three out of four of us were drinking before seven. Yeah, not cute.

Here's my thing, which I always have a "thing." I don't understand how someone that has proven to be invaluable to a company can be discarded so easily (if you don't get it - it wasn't me, it was someone I hold very dear). He went above and beyond his duties as an "entertainer." He helped us install fucking soundproofing for fuck's sake.


Another thing I don't understand is that the big K and I have to terminate someone the other week who went out the door pretty much threatening the business with a lawsuit and yet he is allowed to stroll back into the bar?

Who?

Huh?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm going to need you people to get your fucking act together.

I'm going to need some answers.

I'm going to need another drink.

Title and first line from Scissor Sisters' "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'"

Ol' Webslinger

I was a total comics junkie as a kid/early teenager (Marvel, not DC), so when Ferg and JD said they wanted to go see Spiderman 3, I was all over it. Naturally, we calculated the best time (ie when all of us could get our act together) to avoid small children and went with the 7:30 show. We got there in plenty of time to secure our tickets and then go get some grub at California Pizza Kitchen.

Now, I'm a big believer that a good movie is indicative of two things. The first is the amount of times you check your watch. Checking your watch means that you want to know what time it is and calculate how much time is left in the flick - all in all, not a good sign. The second is if I would suggest the movie to a dear friend (no colleagues or co-workers, just dear friends). So, how did Spider-Man rate according to the Arman tests? Well, I never checked the time so it certainly kept my attention. And, I would totally tell someone to see it if they're a fan of the first two films and/or the comic book and/or a good action flick. So, at the end of the day I guess you could say it was pretty good.

Most of my problems with it were relatively the same with the first two of the franchise and that includes: after stripping away the rush of the action sequences, the storyline is totally Velveeta, just cheese for days. And, not even good cheese - a block of room temperature cheese product. And, of course, the mass market appeal of the audience it's gonna draw in, all of which are my biggest pet peeves with going to the movies:
-Crying babies (cute, but get a fucking babysitter)
-Late arrivals that ask you to scoot down (other people do exist aside from yourself and your three friends)
-Cell phones ringing (there were how many polite commercials asking you to turn your shit off)
-Loud Q&As between the in the know and novice movie watchers (it's Spiderman, seriously, it's not quantum physics)

I'm so glad we had cocktails first, but damn you CPK for your lack of Jaeger.

Love Me or Hate Me? That Is the Question

If you love me - thank you; if you hate me, then fuck you.

I have a confession to make: One of my favorite things about my job is determining who gets to be on the guest list and who does not. I'm also a big reaction person. I love watching people's honest reactions. During the first Liquified event at WETbar, I loved watching everyone's jaw drop when they roamed from room to room exploring the venue.

At any rate, my penchant for honest reaction and the guest list always seems to thrill me each Saturday. My favorite thing in the world is to tell typical assholes that feel entitled to be on the list that they're not on it. The excuses are always the same, "I know __________ (fill in blank with 'the owner,' 'the manager, 'the DJ,' a bartender,' 'a performer')," "Don't you know who I am," "__________ isn't coming tonight; I'm here in their place."

Sorry hon, General Admission is that a way.

My counterpart from a Downtown club known for its afterhours came in with four guests last night. He looked sharp, but expected to stroll right on in with his posse. Now, for the record, I'm all about club courtesy, but there are better ways to handle it. Let's try calling first and notifying management that you're stopping by maybe? Asking for the manager when you arrive? No, you don't try to fucking take wristbands from the concierge and when denied storm out saying the club is a piece of shit. Mary, here are your afterhours fliers I had security round up. Please don't expect to ever bring them back in the club. Asshole.

I swear we're not divas. We're actually the furthest thing from that. Most of the staff is pretty laidback and mild-mannered. Just don't piss them off. Cause quite frankly, whether you love them or hate them (myself included), we really could give a good god damn.

Title and first line from Lady Sovereign's "Love Me or Hate Me."