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Have you ever lost everything? Well, I now know what it kind of feels like. My computer crashed a few days ago. The hard drive had zeroed out – so not cute. All of my music was gone. That’s fine. It can be replaced.

All of my work is another thing. It was all gone. All of my short stories, past columns, my book; nothing but memories now. It’s kind of depressing. Please spare me the lectures on “backing up.” I have all the seasons of Sex and the City on DVD, I’ve seen the episode; I should have heeded its advice.

I have most of my columns in the form of the issues they appeared in and the short stories and book can be rebuilt, perhaps better than their predecessors. I just have to rely on the brain, but even that is at the mercy of all the designer drug use in the mid 90’s.

Come to think of it, maybe this was my computer’s moment of clarity. Maybe my hard drive is an extension of my own personae and thought process and this is its way of telling me to be more ambitious, to forget the past and start anew. Perhaps this is my cue to think on a bigger scale.

Yeah, I know, I know, I should have backed up.

Simplify

From time to time, you guys will hear me mention my dear friend Rob on here. I caught up with him today and instantly inserted foot into mouth.

"How's the happy wife?," I asked.

"Single."

He and his boyfriend had broken up two days ago. Rob told me that it was his ex's decision to end the union. For the record, Rob would make a great husband; he's a little high strung and neurotic but extremely attentive and fun. It balances.

I've learned to proceed with caution when it comes to talking to Rob about his boyfriends/exes. Rob is the type that will talk when he wants to and won't be forced into venting.

"He didn't want to be in a relationship is what he told me" said Rob.

"How old is he again?" I asked.

"38."

Before I realized it, I blurted out "well, there you have it." Damn it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

Strike 2.

"Explanation plus age equals 'emotionally unavailable.'"

Silence.

"Hello?"

"I'm here," he said. "I'm loving what you just said."

Well, it's really that simple. I also told Rob that it was a combination of that and how Rob had tricked himself into thinking that his ex had the potential to be emotionally available.

I braced myself. Had I gone too far?

"Yeah, you're 100 percent right. Thanks, I feel better already."

Damn, I guess when you're bogged down with all that emotion and stress, you really can't see past the bullshit. Maybe all it takes is to simplify. Maybe that is the key to a relationship. Who would have thought? Had I just stumbled on some key to happiness?

Nah, I, for one, refuse to think it can be that simple.