There's a reason why I don't have kids. Ok, so actually, there's a few reasons why I don't have kids.
I've learned that my space (both head and living) is not child compatible. They ask too many questions, do NOT understand the concept of keeping things neat and lastly do not know when to leave me the fuck alone.
Last night, my mom had to talk me out of giving my niece a children's Benadryl to knock her out. Hey, my house, my rules. I bet my mom regrets ever saying those words to me now.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Neat
Car's in the shop - again.
(Mental note: Tell the mechanic negotiations story.)
Mom and niece pulled a surprise visit.
(Mental note: Tell the Operation: Apartment De-Pornification story.)
Gustav forced us to cancel DC's gig in NOLA.
(Mental note: Tell the KH and me vs. The Promoters Story)
I'm hungry. I need sushi in my life.
(It is what it is.)
(Mental note: Tell the mechanic negotiations story.)
Mom and niece pulled a surprise visit.
(Mental note: Tell the Operation: Apartment De-Pornification story.)
Gustav forced us to cancel DC's gig in NOLA.
(Mental note: Tell the KH and me vs. The Promoters Story)
I'm hungry. I need sushi in my life.
(It is what it is.)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
LONG @ss SURVEY
I had some time to kill when I was supposed to be paying attention on a conference call. Enjoy!
What is the biggest secret you know about your best friend?
It’s not MY story to tell.
What are you listening to at the moment?
Jipsta vs. Ida Corr “Don’t Act Like You Don’t Know” (feel free to check out my MySpace profile to take a listen too)
Would you have sex with someone you had known less than 24 hrs?
Don’t act so pious, I’m not the only one…
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
An entire inner circle actually
What was the last thing you hid?
I live by myself, I don’t have to hide sh*t
Who are all under "d" in your contacs in your cell phone?
Oh for fu*k’s sake: Damian (liquified), Dan George, Darin Arrowood, Darren, Darryl Kent, Dave Koz (no, seriously), David Magazine, David Perusse, David Taylor, Deborah Cox (yes, that one), Derrick Walker, Devin Walkley, Diego Wolf, Donnui, Doug Baker, DRIVE Office
Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
It was at a bar, so it could have been anyone
When was the last time you touched drum sticks?
Yesterday when I had warm, slippery rotisserie chicken from Publix
What are you excited about?
Life
Who do you text the most?
Dan, Rob, Brian, Ferg, Errol, Adam, Tim
First person to text today?
Tim
Have you ever seen a couple and it just made you so happy by the way they looked at each other?
Only if happiness can cause annoyance and queasiness
Are you closer to your Dad or your pet?
I’d say my Dad, I’m his spitting image (what does that mean anyway?)
Has anyone ever forgotten who you were?
I’m sure there are people that are trying to
Last thing that made you laugh really hard?
Rob’s analysis on certain people, what they say and how they say it
Name some things you need from the store?
Green Tea, Mach 3 Turbo Razors
Are you going to prom this year?
Went to an 80’s one on Saturday with Alex
Who do you feel you're becoming distant with?
My inner child?
Who was the last person you saw?
My neighbor, but I slammed the door in his face as per usual
Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
I don’t take it out on the music
Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now?
Absolutely
Does the last person you held hands with, mean a lot?
I was dragging them through a crowd so in terms of efficiency, yes.
Do you wish you never dated someone you dated?
There’s one or ten.
Could you go a day without eating?
I have actually, but not by design.
Even though it's summer, would you still consider being in a relationship?
Probably not. I have some things I have to fix first.
Have you fixed friendships with anyone lately?
I kind of need to, but for now, it’ll have to wait.
Do you find it awkward when you're in the car with your dad and "I Kissed A Girl" comes on?
My theory is that if he was alive, he'd get a kick out of it. I like to think he hangs out with me all the time though.
Do you have over-sized sunglasses?
Duh, of course. The D&Gs are particularly hard to keep track of – even my sister-in-law tried jacking them.
Do you always screw up when you're painting your nails on your dominant hand?
I don’t paint my nails.
Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
No, I have enough problems and baggage as it is.
Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
Nope, I bought them myself from Puma and Adidas
Where did your last kiss take place?
I kiss my friends all the time as a greeting/good-bye
What is crazy to you?
Friends, Family, Life (in that order)
Favorite cuss word?
Whore (I usually add "crazy," "f*cked up," "skanky" as a prefix when needed)
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
Somebody I can't be bothered with
Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
Nope, I don’t take direction very well
When is your next party?
That’s all day, everyday
How do you handle a break up?
Nod and smile
Your motivation for tomorrow?
Don’t die
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
Not sure, what ever speaks to me from the closet
Last thing you ate?
Green Tea with soy milk and honey
Do you ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
Seriously?
Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
Maybe when I was between the ages of 2 and 5?
Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
I don’t have any pets
Do you talk baby talk?
Sometimes when I’m mocking somebody
What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
I find them all equally disturbing
Do you watch court tv?
Nope
Would you ever work in a retirement home?
What would my motivation be?
Do you believe plants have feelings?
WTF?
Are you ever purposely irritating?
It’s usually in retaliation, but sure!
If you could fly, where would you go first?
I’d get lost on purpose.
What is on your bed right now?
Comforter, pair of jeans and umm, I forget his name…
Name 3 people who made you smile today?
It’s too early for all that.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Wondering if that’s all the rain for today.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Green Tea with soy milk and honey
What are you wearing right now?
Black Puma T and Grey Adidas Gym Shorts
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nah, I put myself on restriction after the Kenneth Cole and Lucky incident
When was the last time you ran?
Hey, the power on the entire block was out and I heard footsteps. You woulda ran too.
Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
Nothing I won’t miss I imagine.
Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
I deleted them all in a fit of MySpace Feng Shui.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Next question
Do you eat healthy?
Relatively speaking – I don’t eat red meat, deep fried foods but have a weakness for baked goods
What do you usually do during the day?
Chant?
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Or some variation
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
33
Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?
Is that wrong?
Do you know anybody who was abused?
By choice? I mean, they paid a fair price in my opinion.
Do you take walks often?
Sometimes they lead to running.
Is silence really golden?
I’ll get back to you on that one
Any upcoming vacations?
For me or people I know? Specificity people…
Do you care what people think of you?
A few, but en masse, not particularly.
Would you call yourself smart?
As compared to what exactly?
Is good grammar attractive?
Editor – you do the math
Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
We moved. A lot.
Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number?
Sure, but with e-mail, MySpace and facebook, you can ALWAYS find someone you’re looking for.
Needles aren't so horrible?
Hate them.
Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you?
Me mommy. It usually closes the conversation every time – even when she forgets something and has to start over. She’s awesome like that.
What is the biggest secret you know about your best friend?
It’s not MY story to tell.
What are you listening to at the moment?
Jipsta vs. Ida Corr “Don’t Act Like You Don’t Know” (feel free to check out my MySpace profile to take a listen too)
Would you have sex with someone you had known less than 24 hrs?
Don’t act so pious, I’m not the only one…
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
An entire inner circle actually
What was the last thing you hid?
I live by myself, I don’t have to hide sh*t
Who are all under "d" in your contacs in your cell phone?
Oh for fu*k’s sake: Damian (liquified), Dan George, Darin Arrowood, Darren, Darryl Kent, Dave Koz (no, seriously), David Magazine, David Perusse, David Taylor, Deborah Cox (yes, that one), Derrick Walker, Devin Walkley, Diego Wolf, Donnui, Doug Baker, DRIVE Office
Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
It was at a bar, so it could have been anyone
When was the last time you touched drum sticks?
Yesterday when I had warm, slippery rotisserie chicken from Publix
What are you excited about?
Life
Who do you text the most?
Dan, Rob, Brian, Ferg, Errol, Adam, Tim
First person to text today?
Tim
Have you ever seen a couple and it just made you so happy by the way they looked at each other?
Only if happiness can cause annoyance and queasiness
Are you closer to your Dad or your pet?
I’d say my Dad, I’m his spitting image (what does that mean anyway?)
Has anyone ever forgotten who you were?
I’m sure there are people that are trying to
Last thing that made you laugh really hard?
Rob’s analysis on certain people, what they say and how they say it
Name some things you need from the store?
Green Tea, Mach 3 Turbo Razors
Are you going to prom this year?
Went to an 80’s one on Saturday with Alex
Who do you feel you're becoming distant with?
My inner child?
Who was the last person you saw?
My neighbor, but I slammed the door in his face as per usual
Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
I don’t take it out on the music
Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now?
Absolutely
Does the last person you held hands with, mean a lot?
I was dragging them through a crowd so in terms of efficiency, yes.
Do you wish you never dated someone you dated?
There’s one or ten.
Could you go a day without eating?
I have actually, but not by design.
Even though it's summer, would you still consider being in a relationship?
Probably not. I have some things I have to fix first.
Have you fixed friendships with anyone lately?
I kind of need to, but for now, it’ll have to wait.
Do you find it awkward when you're in the car with your dad and "I Kissed A Girl" comes on?
My theory is that if he was alive, he'd get a kick out of it. I like to think he hangs out with me all the time though.
Do you have over-sized sunglasses?
Duh, of course. The D&Gs are particularly hard to keep track of – even my sister-in-law tried jacking them.
Do you always screw up when you're painting your nails on your dominant hand?
I don’t paint my nails.
Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
No, I have enough problems and baggage as it is.
Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
Nope, I bought them myself from Puma and Adidas
Where did your last kiss take place?
I kiss my friends all the time as a greeting/good-bye
What is crazy to you?
Friends, Family, Life (in that order)
Favorite cuss word?
Whore (I usually add "crazy," "f*cked up," "skanky" as a prefix when needed)
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
Somebody I can't be bothered with
Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
Nope, I don’t take direction very well
When is your next party?
That’s all day, everyday
How do you handle a break up?
Nod and smile
Your motivation for tomorrow?
Don’t die
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
Not sure, what ever speaks to me from the closet
Last thing you ate?
Green Tea with soy milk and honey
Do you ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
Seriously?
Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
Maybe when I was between the ages of 2 and 5?
Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
I don’t have any pets
Do you talk baby talk?
Sometimes when I’m mocking somebody
What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
I find them all equally disturbing
Do you watch court tv?
Nope
Would you ever work in a retirement home?
What would my motivation be?
Do you believe plants have feelings?
WTF?
Are you ever purposely irritating?
It’s usually in retaliation, but sure!
If you could fly, where would you go first?
I’d get lost on purpose.
What is on your bed right now?
Comforter, pair of jeans and umm, I forget his name…
Name 3 people who made you smile today?
It’s too early for all that.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Wondering if that’s all the rain for today.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Green Tea with soy milk and honey
What are you wearing right now?
Black Puma T and Grey Adidas Gym Shorts
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nah, I put myself on restriction after the Kenneth Cole and Lucky incident
When was the last time you ran?
Hey, the power on the entire block was out and I heard footsteps. You woulda ran too.
Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
Nothing I won’t miss I imagine.
Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
I deleted them all in a fit of MySpace Feng Shui.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Next question
Do you eat healthy?
Relatively speaking – I don’t eat red meat, deep fried foods but have a weakness for baked goods
What do you usually do during the day?
Chant?
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Or some variation
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
33
Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?
Is that wrong?
Do you know anybody who was abused?
By choice? I mean, they paid a fair price in my opinion.
Do you take walks often?
Sometimes they lead to running.
Is silence really golden?
I’ll get back to you on that one
Any upcoming vacations?
For me or people I know? Specificity people…
Do you care what people think of you?
A few, but en masse, not particularly.
Would you call yourself smart?
As compared to what exactly?
Is good grammar attractive?
Editor – you do the math
Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
We moved. A lot.
Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number?
Sure, but with e-mail, MySpace and facebook, you can ALWAYS find someone you’re looking for.
Needles aren't so horrible?
Hate them.
Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you?
Me mommy. It usually closes the conversation every time – even when she forgets something and has to start over. She’s awesome like that.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Deprivation
I slept a total of three hours last night. And, no, it wasn't because of a booty call, miscellaneous drug use or anything fun (btw, you guys are jackasses for automatically assuming).
My sleep deprivation was caused by over-thinking, stressing and over analyzing - in short, being a f'n Pisces.
I'm discovering my business sense isn't as gimpy as I originally deemed it, my friends are pretty quick on the uptake and I've never been this absorbed with a concept EVER. I've pretty much drank my own kool-aid. And, yeah, I know how that could come across as an "eww."
It's all good though, at the end of the day (damn you BK for drilling that expression into me brain) it's going to be worth it. There really is no rest for the wicked.
My sleep deprivation was caused by over-thinking, stressing and over analyzing - in short, being a f'n Pisces.
I'm discovering my business sense isn't as gimpy as I originally deemed it, my friends are pretty quick on the uptake and I've never been this absorbed with a concept EVER. I've pretty much drank my own kool-aid. And, yeah, I know how that could come across as an "eww."
It's all good though, at the end of the day (damn you BK for drilling that expression into me brain) it's going to be worth it. There really is no rest for the wicked.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
HA!
My dear friend BH sent me this because he thought of me when he first read it. I can't lie, I've had this dialogue in my head many a time.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Gluttony, Greed and Pride
It seems I've all but abandoned the Guest List. I don't know, maybe it's cause as I grow older, the more I can't be bothered. It's possible. Or, maybe it's because I really am just too busy. It's been weeks since I've indulged in a late Friday lunch with the boys. Everyone's all running around, doing their thing and living their lives. I think the last time we were all together was the George Michael concert, which admittedly was f'n amazing.
Take this past weekend, for example. Saturday was strictly a working day. Granted, a working weekend for me isn't the same for everyone else - I mean that literally and figuratively.
GLUTTONY
My Saturday started out with a meeting at J. Christopher over Blueberry Crunch Pancakes. Then, a casual coffee at the W with the LA version of me, KH - DC's assistant. You see, although we've been working together for over a year - we hadn't met face to face. It was such a trip to sit there and actually talk to the person I've talked to countless times over the phone and in e-mail threads. I say she's the LA version of me because we have the same snarky sense of humor. We point out the ridiculous, call out the idiocy and all with a stylish sense of humor. She's kinda awesome.
Later on that evening, I got to treat DC and company to the most brilliant dinner in my long standing affair at two urban licks. Here's the thing about TWL: People who have never been there before tend to order like they would at any regular restaurant. And, the people that brought them just let them because everything is so damn good.
While DC, KH and EK narrowed their choices, BeX and I just smiled at our menus, seasonal items withstanding, having memorized the choices.
Within moments, being at the star table and all, the table was just packed with food - ribs, lamb lollipops, calamari, cumin bread (which BeX didn't like but DC adored). I'll give it to DC and crew, they were troopers - they tried everything and made a valiant effort to clean their plates.
And then, the salads came out.
I mean, I learned long ago not to bother with the salad option of the meal at TUL because it ensures you never finish your entree. They, however, needed green stuff in their lives and kept throwing it back until the last leaf. I think it was the chili flake effect and how it alters the normal affection towards salad.
By the time the entrees hit the table, most people were about to throw in the towel. Here's the thing, in the past couple of years, I've gotten quite a few celebrities/agents/VIPs ADDICTED to TUL's macaroni and cheese. When I say addicted, I mean it. Hell, DG is still trying to get me to find out the recipe.
DC was no exception. She was like, "this ain't right." Sure ain't girl, sure ain't. DC had to physically scoot her plate towards KH and EK to make sure she didn't eat anymore. And then, THEY tried the mac and cheese. Really KH, you think covering the plate with your napkin will prevent you from eating more? Umm no, the only real way to make sure you stop is to have the server take it away.
Here's the thing I heart about BeX, while the rest of the table is too concerned about image to order dessert, me and BeX will totally get the server to bring the menu back so we can choose a dessert. And, we did. The bestest thing EVER - their version of a banana split. It's this gooey peanut butter brownie thing with caramelized bananas and scoops of homemade chocolate and vanilla bean ice cream and strawberry sorbet.
We convinced the table to try the non-peanut portions of dessert (DC and KH are allergic to peanuts apparently). Yeah, they ordered ice cream for themselves. BeX and me felt validated.
GREED
After wishing DC and crew farewell, I decided the best thing possible was to reward myself with a day of shopping. So, to the North Georgia Outlets went my money. I could not be stopped at PUMA, Lucky, Converse or Kenneth Cole. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.
See, I'm trying to convince both ME and YOU.
PRIDE
But, damn do I look cute in all the shit I bought.
;-)
Take this past weekend, for example. Saturday was strictly a working day. Granted, a working weekend for me isn't the same for everyone else - I mean that literally and figuratively.
GLUTTONY
My Saturday started out with a meeting at J. Christopher over Blueberry Crunch Pancakes. Then, a casual coffee at the W with the LA version of me, KH - DC's assistant. You see, although we've been working together for over a year - we hadn't met face to face. It was such a trip to sit there and actually talk to the person I've talked to countless times over the phone and in e-mail threads. I say she's the LA version of me because we have the same snarky sense of humor. We point out the ridiculous, call out the idiocy and all with a stylish sense of humor. She's kinda awesome.
Later on that evening, I got to treat DC and company to the most brilliant dinner in my long standing affair at two urban licks. Here's the thing about TWL: People who have never been there before tend to order like they would at any regular restaurant. And, the people that brought them just let them because everything is so damn good.
While DC, KH and EK narrowed their choices, BeX and I just smiled at our menus, seasonal items withstanding, having memorized the choices.
Within moments, being at the star table and all, the table was just packed with food - ribs, lamb lollipops, calamari, cumin bread (which BeX didn't like but DC adored). I'll give it to DC and crew, they were troopers - they tried everything and made a valiant effort to clean their plates.
And then, the salads came out.
I mean, I learned long ago not to bother with the salad option of the meal at TUL because it ensures you never finish your entree. They, however, needed green stuff in their lives and kept throwing it back until the last leaf. I think it was the chili flake effect and how it alters the normal affection towards salad.
By the time the entrees hit the table, most people were about to throw in the towel. Here's the thing, in the past couple of years, I've gotten quite a few celebrities/agents/VIPs ADDICTED to TUL's macaroni and cheese. When I say addicted, I mean it. Hell, DG is still trying to get me to find out the recipe.
DC was no exception. She was like, "this ain't right." Sure ain't girl, sure ain't. DC had to physically scoot her plate towards KH and EK to make sure she didn't eat anymore. And then, THEY tried the mac and cheese. Really KH, you think covering the plate with your napkin will prevent you from eating more? Umm no, the only real way to make sure you stop is to have the server take it away.
Here's the thing I heart about BeX, while the rest of the table is too concerned about image to order dessert, me and BeX will totally get the server to bring the menu back so we can choose a dessert. And, we did. The bestest thing EVER - their version of a banana split. It's this gooey peanut butter brownie thing with caramelized bananas and scoops of homemade chocolate and vanilla bean ice cream and strawberry sorbet.
We convinced the table to try the non-peanut portions of dessert (DC and KH are allergic to peanuts apparently). Yeah, they ordered ice cream for themselves. BeX and me felt validated.
GREED
After wishing DC and crew farewell, I decided the best thing possible was to reward myself with a day of shopping. So, to the North Georgia Outlets went my money. I could not be stopped at PUMA, Lucky, Converse or Kenneth Cole. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while. I shall not go shopping again for a while.
See, I'm trying to convince both ME and YOU.
PRIDE
But, damn do I look cute in all the shit I bought.
;-)
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