or are the first five or six notes of P!nk's "Sober" the same as Kelly Clarkson's "Moment Like This?"
Class, discuss.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Interpret This...
This morning I woke up in a panic. I just had the most vivid dream and it shocked me into sitting straight up. Good thing JW wasn't around cause he surely would classify me as insane.
So, in my dream, Bianca and I are living together. We're about to have Game Night when there's a knock on the door. In comes Charlie Brown and three "secret service" looking man-beasts. They told Bianca and I they were there to "sweep the house." They ordered us to take a seat at which point, Bianca hits it out of the room and up the stairs.
I sit on the couch and watch as Charlie and her three man-beast secret service agents go through the house with magnifying glasses, tongs and other random detective paraphernalia. When they're not looking, I sneak upstairs to find Bianca flushing large amounts of white powder down the toilet. It was Splenda.
"They're here to take all the sweet stuff," she screamed frantically as she chucks a Reese's Peanut Butter cup out the open window.
"It's illegal - no more sweet stuff!"
From downstairs, we hear one of the man-beasts say "The Kitchen!"
At that point, Bianca asks me if I cleared the kitchen. Since it's a dream, I can't talk and she starts shaking me violently demanding a response.
Charlie comes into the room holding a bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea flavored vodka. Bianca grabs my arm and leads me to the window and throws both of us out of it.
I wake up before I hit the ground.
(Side note: Only in my dream would there be all this product placement.)
So, in my dream, Bianca and I are living together. We're about to have Game Night when there's a knock on the door. In comes Charlie Brown and three "secret service" looking man-beasts. They told Bianca and I they were there to "sweep the house." They ordered us to take a seat at which point, Bianca hits it out of the room and up the stairs.
I sit on the couch and watch as Charlie and her three man-beast secret service agents go through the house with magnifying glasses, tongs and other random detective paraphernalia. When they're not looking, I sneak upstairs to find Bianca flushing large amounts of white powder down the toilet. It was Splenda.
"They're here to take all the sweet stuff," she screamed frantically as she chucks a Reese's Peanut Butter cup out the open window.
"It's illegal - no more sweet stuff!"
From downstairs, we hear one of the man-beasts say "The Kitchen!"
At that point, Bianca asks me if I cleared the kitchen. Since it's a dream, I can't talk and she starts shaking me violently demanding a response.
Charlie comes into the room holding a bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea flavored vodka. Bianca grabs my arm and leads me to the window and throws both of us out of it.
I wake up before I hit the ground.
(Side note: Only in my dream would there be all this product placement.)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
More Pandering
JW and I got our first collective compliment today. My buddy JM saw us at dinner last night and messaged me today:
Y'all make such a cute couple.
Little did JM know that JW headbutted me in the chin this morning.
It's not his fault, I just be running into the punches.
Y'all make such a cute couple.
Little did JM know that JW headbutted me in the chin this morning.
It's not his fault, I just be running into the punches.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Paramour
Did you guys know there's over 36 synonyms for the term "boyfriend?"
Yeah, I'm kinda gagged about that too. My particular favorite is "paramour" which could also mean "concubine." Hee!
At any rate, JW and I are officially boyfriends. I can't lie, I'm really liking it. I even told the family about him. To my surprise and delight, they're all excited to meet him. Thing is, I don't know why I'm so concerned - JW is just as quick witted as I am and therefore should be able to hold his own against the fam, right? I mean he holds his own against my gay family and they're a tougher crowd. Sort of.
I also posted my new relationship status on facebook last night. It made me all giggly that over 15 people so far have congratulated me and felt the need to comment on how happy they are for me. Thanks, guys. I can't wait for you to meet the "paramour" either.
Yeah, I'm kinda gagged about that too. My particular favorite is "paramour" which could also mean "concubine." Hee!
At any rate, JW and I are officially boyfriends. I can't lie, I'm really liking it. I even told the family about him. To my surprise and delight, they're all excited to meet him. Thing is, I don't know why I'm so concerned - JW is just as quick witted as I am and therefore should be able to hold his own against the fam, right? I mean he holds his own against my gay family and they're a tougher crowd. Sort of.
I also posted my new relationship status on facebook last night. It made me all giggly that over 15 people so far have congratulated me and felt the need to comment on how happy they are for me. Thanks, guys. I can't wait for you to meet the "paramour" either.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Secret Agent Mommy
Prelude: For the record, my mom could never work at a job that involved stealth of any kind. She has the subtlety of a sledgehammer sometimes. But, that's one of the many reasons why I love her.
The Build-Up: The other day, I was talking to my Sis-In-Law, Heather. Heather's awesome, she totally cracks me up and always offers some insightful advice. Not to mention, girl's got some serious recipe action when it comes to feeding large groups of finicky eaters. Anywho, while I was on the phone with Heather, JW walked through the door. Naturally, Heather has known about JW and was all, by the way, I was talking to Mom the other day and asked her what she thought of JW.
I was a bit mortified. I hadn't told Mom about JW yet.
Here's the thing, I don't really talk about my relationships with my Mom. Whether my reluctance to talk about significant others is in order to protect the family or the significant other is a toss-up. Maybe it's a little bit of both. Or, maybe I have a mental block and consider gay relationships too temporary to bring up as a topic of interest. More on this later.
At any rate, Heather had unintentionally let the proverbial cat out of the bag. With this knowledge, I waited for the ambush.
The Punch-Line:
Valentine's Day Evening:
(Ring)
Me: Hi Mommy.
Mom: Hi Honey, how are you?
Me: I'm good, how goes it?
Mom: Everything is fine, baby.
Me: Oh good.
Mom: So...
Me: So?
Mom: Got plans for tonight?
Me: (thinking that V-Day plans happened the previous night into lunch that day) Nope.
Mom: Really? Not going on a Valentine's Day date tonight?
Me: (knowing full well I wasn't lying) Nope.
Mom: Oh...
Me: Yup, just going to read a book and go to bed early tonight.
Mom: Well, I just thought...
Me: (Controlling laughing) thought what Mommy?
Mom: Oh, nothing.
Me: Well, ok - talk to you later then. G'night Mommy, love you!
Mom: Love you too, baby.
Oh stop, this doesn't make me a bad person.
The Build-Up: The other day, I was talking to my Sis-In-Law, Heather. Heather's awesome, she totally cracks me up and always offers some insightful advice. Not to mention, girl's got some serious recipe action when it comes to feeding large groups of finicky eaters. Anywho, while I was on the phone with Heather, JW walked through the door. Naturally, Heather has known about JW and was all, by the way, I was talking to Mom the other day and asked her what she thought of JW.
I was a bit mortified. I hadn't told Mom about JW yet.
Here's the thing, I don't really talk about my relationships with my Mom. Whether my reluctance to talk about significant others is in order to protect the family or the significant other is a toss-up. Maybe it's a little bit of both. Or, maybe I have a mental block and consider gay relationships too temporary to bring up as a topic of interest. More on this later.
At any rate, Heather had unintentionally let the proverbial cat out of the bag. With this knowledge, I waited for the ambush.
The Punch-Line:
Valentine's Day Evening:
(Ring)
Me: Hi Mommy.
Mom: Hi Honey, how are you?
Me: I'm good, how goes it?
Mom: Everything is fine, baby.
Me: Oh good.
Mom: So...
Me: So?
Mom: Got plans for tonight?
Me: (thinking that V-Day plans happened the previous night into lunch that day) Nope.
Mom: Really? Not going on a Valentine's Day date tonight?
Me: (knowing full well I wasn't lying) Nope.
Mom: Oh...
Me: Yup, just going to read a book and go to bed early tonight.
Mom: Well, I just thought...
Me: (Controlling laughing) thought what Mommy?
Mom: Oh, nothing.
Me: Well, ok - talk to you later then. G'night Mommy, love you!
Mom: Love you too, baby.
Oh stop, this doesn't make me a bad person.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Something Old, Something New
So, yeah, clearly I haven't retired her.
Here's why, I still need my therapy. I did, however, feel she needed a makeover.
All right, here we are - Valentine's Day. I had lunch with JW and that's as Valentinesy as it's gonna get. Unfortunately, he has to work tonight, but I knew that weeks ago. We did get hammered together last night, jumping from hanging out with Jordan at Jungle to surprising Ferg, E, Alexandria and Shawnna at Blake's. It was kinda fun, kinda awkward. Details about that later. Maybe.
I did learn that he calls me his boyfriend to everyone but me. Yeah, that one's a stumper. I caught it when we got separated for a while and he came and found me asking if I was mad that he was gone for a minute. I was like, nah, I know plenty of people here so it's not like I was lonely or anything. He proceeded to tell me that he had just said to his friend "I gotta find my boyfriend before he just leaves me stranded."
First of all, I live down the street so he could just walk down to my place - stranded was a bit of an overstatement. Second of all, JW was the one that put down the parameters of us hanging out. It's not like I gave him an ultimatum. I'm a Pisces, I go with the flow. I know where I was in my head about the two of us, but never imposed that on him. It was opposite in fact, I told him I'd wait until he got to where I was. I didn't realize he was already there. I really like it.
Here's why, I still need my therapy. I did, however, feel she needed a makeover.
All right, here we are - Valentine's Day. I had lunch with JW and that's as Valentinesy as it's gonna get. Unfortunately, he has to work tonight, but I knew that weeks ago. We did get hammered together last night, jumping from hanging out with Jordan at Jungle to surprising Ferg, E, Alexandria and Shawnna at Blake's. It was kinda fun, kinda awkward. Details about that later. Maybe.
I did learn that he calls me his boyfriend to everyone but me. Yeah, that one's a stumper. I caught it when we got separated for a while and he came and found me asking if I was mad that he was gone for a minute. I was like, nah, I know plenty of people here so it's not like I was lonely or anything. He proceeded to tell me that he had just said to his friend "I gotta find my boyfriend before he just leaves me stranded."
First of all, I live down the street so he could just walk down to my place - stranded was a bit of an overstatement. Second of all, JW was the one that put down the parameters of us hanging out. It's not like I gave him an ultimatum. I'm a Pisces, I go with the flow. I know where I was in my head about the two of us, but never imposed that on him. It was opposite in fact, I told him I'd wait until he got to where I was. I didn't realize he was already there. I really like it.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Retire
I'm contemplating retiring the Guest List.
Here's why - between facebook, MySpace and my neglected Twitter - is there really a reason to keep doing a blog?
Class, discuss.
(***Note: I've enabled comments again - they were disabled for a while due to an asshole anonymous commentator. To this person, I still say "suck it.")
PS Ferg, I love ya' for having to use my blog to find yours. It's part of your charm.
Here's why - between facebook, MySpace and my neglected Twitter - is there really a reason to keep doing a blog?
Class, discuss.
(***Note: I've enabled comments again - they were disabled for a while due to an asshole anonymous commentator. To this person, I still say "suck it.")
PS Ferg, I love ya' for having to use my blog to find yours. It's part of your charm.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Valentine's Day
Ok, so this is one of the reasons why I really like JW.
This morning, we were laying in bed together.
Me: Will you be my Valentine this year?
JW: Aww, babe, that's so sweet. Yeah, of course.
Me: Good.
JW: But, I got to work. I'm sorry.
Me: It's ok, I wasn't going to get you anything anyway.
JW: That's cool, I'd hate to have to dump you on Valentine's Day after you gave me a present.
Hee! The boy is funny as fuck.
This morning, we were laying in bed together.
Me: Will you be my Valentine this year?
JW: Aww, babe, that's so sweet. Yeah, of course.
Me: Good.
JW: But, I got to work. I'm sorry.
Me: It's ok, I wasn't going to get you anything anyway.
JW: That's cool, I'd hate to have to dump you on Valentine's Day after you gave me a present.
Hee! The boy is funny as fuck.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Pageant
So, last night, JW and I ended up at a the Divine Continental Pageant. The girls from the Cabaret were hanging out with us and naturally, between the alcohol and the high quip counter, the remarks were out of control.
My favorite from last night was between JW and Cezanne:
Cezanne (walking back from the dressing room): Melania looks amazing in evening gown!
JW: What kind of dress was it?
Cezanne: A fabulous one.
My favorite from last night was between JW and Cezanne:
Cezanne (walking back from the dressing room): Melania looks amazing in evening gown!
JW: What kind of dress was it?
Cezanne: A fabulous one.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
A New Perspective
I've rediscovered a perspective I've long forgotten. So much so, that it could be considered brand new. It's been ages since I've had a real relationship, opting instead to be the toxic bachelor and going about my business without having to answer to anyone or adhering to another person's schedule.
I guess calling whatever it is with JW a "relationship" is premature, but it sure does feel good. Tonight marks a week since we "hooked up." Since then we've spent all but two nights together, seen each other at least for a little bit of time each day. With his bff coming into town, I expect I won't see him as much and he certainly won't be spending the night with the bff staying it his place and all. I'm ok with it, I've got a lot of prep work for the new project on Sunday, but I"m not happy about it. Last night, he stayed home and I tossed and turned for about half an hour before popping a sleep aid. Apparently, he was having the same issue. I woke up to a text sent at almost 2am that read:
Not the same with out you.
Ok, so back to the difference of perspectives. I was at Target last night collecting the necessities that have run dangerously low. You know what I mean - body wash, green tea, saline solution, garbage bags, etc. I was picking up some toothpaste and realized I should go ahead and pick up another SpinBrush for JW so we don't have to switch off the brush heads every night and morning.
When I got home, I was disbursing everything to their proper homes when AM popped by. AM watched as I took the SpinBrush out of the Target bag and was like "did yours break?" I said "no, this is for JW." AM rolled their eyes and said "this is going to get annoying."
Without skipping a beat, I said "I don't give a fuck what you think."
Nice to see some of my old perspective will always survive.
I guess calling whatever it is with JW a "relationship" is premature, but it sure does feel good. Tonight marks a week since we "hooked up." Since then we've spent all but two nights together, seen each other at least for a little bit of time each day. With his bff coming into town, I expect I won't see him as much and he certainly won't be spending the night with the bff staying it his place and all. I'm ok with it, I've got a lot of prep work for the new project on Sunday, but I"m not happy about it. Last night, he stayed home and I tossed and turned for about half an hour before popping a sleep aid. Apparently, he was having the same issue. I woke up to a text sent at almost 2am that read:
Not the same with out you.
Ok, so back to the difference of perspectives. I was at Target last night collecting the necessities that have run dangerously low. You know what I mean - body wash, green tea, saline solution, garbage bags, etc. I was picking up some toothpaste and realized I should go ahead and pick up another SpinBrush for JW so we don't have to switch off the brush heads every night and morning.
When I got home, I was disbursing everything to their proper homes when AM popped by. AM watched as I took the SpinBrush out of the Target bag and was like "did yours break?" I said "no, this is for JW." AM rolled their eyes and said "this is going to get annoying."
Without skipping a beat, I said "I don't give a fuck what you think."
Nice to see some of my old perspective will always survive.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Happy Monday Y'all!
All right, maybe I am a bit more optimistic today as compared to most Mondays, but I had a great weekend.
The event on Saturday went f'n brilliant.
JW and I are getting along famously. Corny but true - when JW isn't around, I get grumpy.
JW's bff comes into town this week, which means JW won't be as available as usual, but I'm excited to meet the bff. Hey, I get it. I mean, JW has already passed my bff size up. Alexandria, Bianca and NPB already knew JW and are thrilled we're an item. At the Saturday event, da' Protege leaned in while JW pretended to look in the other direction and said "adorable."
Trust me, this is a tough crowd.
Ok, gotta focus - Charlie Brown's Cabaret kicks off this week at Artistry. Lots to do, lots to do.
The event on Saturday went f'n brilliant.
JW and I are getting along famously. Corny but true - when JW isn't around, I get grumpy.
JW's bff comes into town this week, which means JW won't be as available as usual, but I'm excited to meet the bff. Hey, I get it. I mean, JW has already passed my bff size up. Alexandria, Bianca and NPB already knew JW and are thrilled we're an item. At the Saturday event, da' Protege leaned in while JW pretended to look in the other direction and said "adorable."
Trust me, this is a tough crowd.
Ok, gotta focus - Charlie Brown's Cabaret kicks off this week at Artistry. Lots to do, lots to do.
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