Beat Down

Pre-Pride Season is whooping my ass. Yesterday, I caught myself talking to a client about an artist and writing an e-mail at the same time. About half-way through the conversation I realized I had forgot who the client was and which artist I was supposed to be switching out. Thankfully, I was clever enough to look at the Caller ID and catch myself up to speed.

"Of course, CHAD, we can get DEBORAH in there." Hee.

Thankfully, we don't have any artists traveling and/or performing this weekend except for DJs. And, the firefighting is so minimal with them. I actually have a weekend to relax. I need some down time. (JAZZ HANDS) Yeah, don't ask.

Yesterday, I told my boss that our new slogan should be "breaking the spirits of promoters and clubs across the globe."

He told me to get back to work.

I said "ok."

So, R & R this weekend. I was all excited about hitting the Renaissance Festival with Ferg too. No, seriously. There was something about escaping into a surreal change of scenery, screaming out "Your finest ale, Wench" and beating Ferg with a turkey drumstick.

But, it's supposed to rain. Again. All Weekend. How. F'n. Beat. Down.

Seriously?

Ok, so I was given a challenge to make a recent AI contestant marketable to the queer club masses.

My first reaction was "he was already (and thank you Jacob for this one) teabagging out-of-town businessmen in a gay strip club - how much more marketable do you need him to be exactly?"

DG, immune to my snarks at this point, continued on unfettered.

I now have to think of dance floor ready tunes for this dude to sing (if that Broadway deal doesn't go through) at queer clubs across the nation. Well, here in lies the problem - there aren't that many male vocal tracks and the ones that are in his range, I really don't want him bastardizing.

So far, here's what I came up with:

"True Faith" - New Order
"I Like The Way You Move" - Body Rockers
"Your Song (Remix)" - Moulin Rouge or Elton, whatevs
"A Little More Love" - David Guetta
"Gotta Get Thru This" - Daniel Bedingfield

Sigh.

At least there's Avril tonight to keep me entertained. It's a great group too - Ferg, BeX, E, DT and JD. ("What if we didn't get the text?" Heh. Fucker.)

And then tomorrow - Birmingham or Dallas. I'm really not that motivated for either to be honest.

Self Explanatory

Ok, so JD makes me chuckle sometimes.

I sent out a text that said:

Mark your calendars kids - I have tickets for the (deleted for privacy) show. If you got this, I'm reserving a ticket for you.

Ferg responds with "I'm there."

E says "Sa+weet," which I'm assuming he meant "suh-weet" or "sweet" for the white folks.

BH, JE and RB are sending me text high-fives and shit.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

JD responds with "What if we didn't get this?"

I'll give it to him, I actually smiled and laughed. Ass.

Goodbye, My Love

So, last year, E and DJ KC went with me to Orlando for a couple of days just to get away. It was fun as hell and filled with shopping, fine-ish dining and drinking. Yes, lots of drinking.

On one of our shopping expeditions, we ran across a PUMA Outlet. Now, I heart me some PUMA. I heart it more than most people. I found this really cool limited edition pit crew mechanic's shirt in charcoal that I needed in my life. It has been my favorite shirt since I brought him home with me.

The other week, I was lunching with the Fratypus and knocked a fork off the table. I brushed against the side of the table that had some blue cheese dressing that fell off the little cup it came in. I thought, eh, I'll just throw it in the wash and call it a day. THREE F'N washes later and the stain is still there. Even Wet Platinum doesn't make such a stain. Blue Cheese dressing ruined my favorite shirt, my poor limited edition pit crew mechanic's shirt in charcoal.

My world has come to an end. The preciously cute highlight of my wardrobe can no longer be seen out in public. He'll be demoted to the chillin' around the house portion of my closet. It's so sad. Can he get a moment of silence please? It's just an atrocity, an abomination, a brutality to let go of such cute fashion. He was so good to me.

I guess it's a good thing I also bought it in sky blue.

You Know You're Fucked...

...when you tell your boss you have abandonment issues over an instant message and all of a sudden he signs off.

Yeah, thanks D.

I don't really have abandonment issues, it's stuff I say randomly to keep people on their toes - and, don't f'n start, you shady bitches know you do it too. I think my boss' response warranted a mention though.

All Right, let's name drop, shall we?

in the past couple of weeks, I booked out Andy Bell from Erasure to IML's 30th Anniversary in Chicago, found a chorus and a couple of cute break dancers in Miami (within less than 48 hours no less) to back Deborah for her performance at the GLAAD Media Awards this Saturday, knocked out entertainment for Prides in Dayton, Ohio (don't ask) and Washington DC, as well as Long Beach. In short, I feel accomplished.

Also in the past couple of weeks were back to back LA invasions on Atlanta. Dear friend and also agent extraordinaire PR came to town for Phil B's gig at WETbar and Tony's gig at Opera for the rather lackluster C2 event. Then, a week later LA hubby AB stopped by for Erika Jayne's appearance at WETbar. And, yeah, I don't know who Erika is either, apparently she had a number one on the Billboard Charts with a tune called "Rollercoaster," which I, umm never heard of.

On Tap:
-Purple Party in Dallas (We have Deborah performing, PR has Phil, Alyson and Joe spinning)
-Ashley's pageant in Lexington
-Deborah doing Long Beach Pride (yay for invading the West Coast)
-Andy Bell in Chicago for IML's 30th Anniversary - yeah, and me without a harness

Perplexed

Everyday is a struggle to suppress my high levels of paranoia, cynicism and rage. I see it creep out occasionally as I layout random people at FedEx, Chick-Fil-A and other various places but truth be told, it's their fucking fault.

I'm having a level of confusion that is hard to explain. You know I'm going to try though, right?

All right, so it's pretty clear I've had issues with key people in the past - some of them public, some of them private. This one was more of a public level issue. It was no well kept secret that she talked major shit about me, would deny it and I would fire back. Usually, it was just to satisfy my need to vent, but the flip side is that I have quite a few readers. So, in real time that means a private vent for me is a public roast for others. Heh.

Moving along, a mentor recently pointed out that carrying a grudge is hardly beneficial for either person - especially if the ultimate karma has already been paid back. So, grudgingly I admit that he has a point. So, I'm letting it go. From here on forward, it's water under the bridge. Don't get me wrong, I won't take anything back, but I will not perpetuate it any more. I graduated from high school in 1994. I'm older and therefore, wiser. Or something. And besides, I've done my fair share of "err," it's time to gun for "divine."

All right, that's it for now, time to get back to work.

What's today's date again?