Only Makes Sense After Alcohol

This weekend has been a complete f'n bust. I've had zero interaction with people except via text and phone. Which, is probably for the best considering I don't like people seeing me in a weakened state. Yeah, we'll get to my inferiority complex later. And, yes, my back is still killing me. Thanks for asking!

So, there I was, flat on my back on my living room floor watching SATC dvds in anticipation of the movie. June 30th, y'all - can't f'n wait. At any rate, I haven't had ANY alcohol in the past four days so this moment of clarity bullshit is getting hella-annoying.

Tone: Trina's "Pull Over"

Me: Heya sugar. What's up?

ATPTI (Anonymous to Protect The Innocent): I just passed your aparrrrtment - I'm drunk! Is your back betterrrrr? Come with meeee!

Me: Oh yeah? Where you heading? And, no my back isn't feeling better so I'm not leaving my house.

ATPTI: I'm on my way to Operaaaaaaa! OUCH!

Me: What the fuck? Honey, what happened?

ATPTI: I fell. I'm bleeding.

Me: Will you get your drunk ass over here then? You shouldn't be walking around Midtown and we'll put a f'n band-aid on your cut.

ATPTI: It's not bleeding thaaaaat much. I'm going to Operaaaaa!

Me: You said that already. And, umm why?

ATPTI: I couldn't be around (insert ATPTI's BFF) anymore; he was chasing after some guy and he deserves better!

Me: So you decided to walk your drunk ass to Opera?

ATPTI: Yeah, there's a guy there I want to ignooooooooore.

Me: I need more pain pills.

Damn You, X-Men

So, last night I royally fucked up my back. And, no, it wasn't doing anything scandalous regrettably. In a fit of Feng Shui, I asked da' Protege to take a look at a comic book collection I've had since childhood and sell it.

At any rate, they were neatly sitting in my closet on the top shelf. I grabbed the box and lost my grip. Now, I should have just let the box fall to the ground and pick up the pieces after the dust settled. Nah, I figured an angle change here, a slight step there and i could adjust accordingly to CATCH the fuckin' box. Which I did. To the tune of a pinched nerve in the back.

So, Memorial Day Weekend, fucked up back, not gonna make any flights to Chicago. Goddammit.

Right Here, Right Now

(Sigh) I heart me some Ryan Tedder. He speaks to me. This OneRepublic track, "Dreaming Out Loud" pretty much sums up how I feel today (aside from the "Monday" references):



Well hello sir, we live for Monday,
Confident we'll get there someday,
Pushing all the papers to a wealthy man,
Might I say, a beautiful tie you wear,
and how do you find such lovely polka dots and stripes these days?

[bridge]
Break all my thoughts hit the floor,
like I'm makin' the score,
I'm the king of the world,
I'm a popular man
count by zeroes to ten,
if you can't, well I can,
don't let any one wake me

[chorus]
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
and all at once it's so familiar it seems,
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
can't find a puzzle to fit into piece of a part of me

[verse 2]
Curtain calls a sanctuary,
Actors in the cloth, they freak me out,
Mockin' my purpose, in the magazines,
Famous how they make you feel grand,
they're always there to hold your hand,
in times of trouble, they're best of friends

[bridge]
Break all my thoughts hit the floor,
like I'm makin the score,
I'm the king of the world,
I'm a popular man
count by zeroes to ten,
if you can't, well I can,
don't let any one wake me

[chorus]
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
and all at once it's so familiar it seems,
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
can't find a puzzle to fit into piece of a part of me

[bridge]
they don't care what you say
they don't care what you think
all they care, what you do,
long as you're of beat,
take a look at yourself

Storm tries to come and wreck my world,
No, I wont let it
stumbled escape, through anchored drapes, no way to bedding

[chorus]
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
and all at once it's so familiar to see,
I'm dreamin' out loud,
dreamin' out loud,
can't find a puzzle to fit into piece of a part of me

well hello sir we live for Mondays

Theatre Style

So, a Battle Royale is about to go down. To be totally honest, I don't know which side is ultimately going to win, but 90% of the fun is watching the contest itself. And, no I'm not talking about American Idol or Dancing With the Stars. This is more interesting.

I see points of view from all parties involved, but it's out of my hands at this point.

Only thing left to do is throw the theatre style in the microwave and grab a good seat.

Shit's gonna be good, y'all.

Epiphanies

Ok, so in the past few days, I've had not one, but two epiphanies.

The first one is why most fags are so bitter. It's because of four little words: I TOLD YOU SO. In the past few days, things I've said were disregarded and they've come back to haunt in full force. Little bits of advice like "I don't think it's a good idea to do that today" or "bitch, you NEED to go to this birthday party, he has sponsored you for so much for your pageant shit and probably won't sponsor you again cause he took it personal." Yup, mark another one down in the "I Told You So" column and take another step towards the penultimate goal of "Jaded."

And, the next epiphany is in regards to why so many queers are good party planners. I mean, you know it doesn't take ANYTHING for a fag to throw a theme party. Me and BeX put together an American Idols Final party in a matter of a couple of hours. But, that's a sidebar. The reason why we're such good party planners is because we've all been "promoters." Whether it's of events, clubs, bars, magazines, people - we've all had to "promote" something in some way, shape or form. Thus, we know how to put some shit together for people to have a good time.

I guess this is all well and dandy considering my latter epiphany is balanced by the former in so many ways. Ying and Yang, good and evil, "I Told You So" and party planning.

Lunch? Done.

All right, so one of my favorite guilty pleasures is a simple Friday lunch with the boys. Yay, for getting everyone to show.

Ferg's meeting was postponed so he joined. Da' Protege, BeX and his bff and one of my favorite people, Platypus were all there. It was good to make fun of work with the nearest and dearest. I j'adores those bastards.

It's been a long week, y'all. Ashley and Bianca are en route to Texas for Miss USofA Classic and Miss USofA respectively. I'm so nervous for the both of them. Bring it on home, girls, bring it on home.

DC and da' K are on their way to Long Beach Pride and I had to forego my trip in lieu of something really important. I know, I know. I keep saying that. But, f'real guys, it's gonna be sooooo good.

Owwww! F'n Owwwwww!!

So, last night, I decided I wanted my piercings back. Over the past year or so, I've lost both nipple rings to umm, various activities. I happened to have two extra stainless steel hoops that I rediscovered after Feng Shui-ing my apartment a few weeks ago.

I've had these piercings since the day after Danny Tenaglia at Fusion for Bump Wednesdays in 1998 or 1999 (old schoolers, help!). I still remember stumbling to Kolo in L5P the day after and still being drunk, figuring the residual alcohol would numb the pain. Nah, it was the most sobering experience, EVER.

At any rate, the first one went in fairly easy. That is, until it came time to come full circle - OUCH, goddammit, OUCH. Anyone with nipple rings will tell you that even though male nipples are pretty useless, they're sensitive. You drive metal through them and it HURTS.

The second one put up so much resistance that I thought I'd have to get it re-pierced. But, then I thought, ok, it's been about ten years - there's no way in hell it's healed up in a period of seven months? So, against my better judgement, I kept trying. FUCKING A - that shit HUUUUUUUURT. Eventually, I was able to clasp the second hoop and to my surprise, no blood. I was totally shocked. I was expecting to need a transfusion after that shit.

Well, at least I have all five back. I'm balanced again. Well, sorta.

No Rest for the Wicked

It's 2:30 in the morning and I *should* be asleep. Alas, I can not. No, it's not because of drugs or alcohol - fuckers.

Thanks Ferg, BH and Bianca for keeping me level headed. You see, when I told any of them I was scared shitless, they were all, "get over it, you've got work to do." Hee.

They really do know me so well.

Yeah, this is my family and I love each and every fucking one of them.

Details forthcoming.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Dreams really do come true.

So, umm, what happens next?

Mental Note: Power Off

(Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony")

Me: Hello?

Caller: What are you doing?

Me: Sleeping.

Caller: It's only 1am! Wake UUUUUUUUUP!

Me: No it's not.

Caller: Come and plaaaaaaaay!

Me: G'bye.

(End Call.)

An hour later:

(Simple Tone: Ninja)

New Text Message: Sorry to wake u, 4got u r in Atlanta.

I Hate LA.

Morbid, But Interesting

The other night, sans alcohol, me and E got into a conversation about funerals. I mentioned how it's kind of annoying that the song to remember the dead person by is always this tear jerker that just adds to the melancholy. E and I both decided that our funerals would have a soundtrack (complete with take home jump drive) to make the nearest and dearest chuckle and reminisce on good times.

So, to the nearest and dearest - here's my list of songs I want playing at my funeral. Anyone that tries to say I would have wanted f'n Celine Dion automatically gets haunted.

"My Way," Frank Sinatra (gotta give JK Rowling props for this one - she said it would have been the song playing at Dumbledore's gay funeral)
"It Ends Tonight," All American Rejects (hee - get it?)
"My Happy Ending," Avril Lavigne (hee again)
"Only The Good Die Young," Billy Joel (I know, but use your best judgement)
"I Want You To Want Me," Cheap Trick (Didn't I? Didn't I? Didn't I? Didn't I see you crying?)
"Destination Unknown," Crystal Waters (Apropos)
"Bring Me To Life," Evanescence" (Wishful Thinking)
"Missing," Everything But The Girl (Dedicated to Myself)
"Thanks for the Mmrs," Fall Out Boy (Fitting)
"Crazy," Gnarls Barkley (Something to remember me by)
"Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)," Green Day (for the haters)
"Sweet Escape," Gwen Stefani (ideally speaking)
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What A Wonderful World," Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (for the hopefuls)
"Live Forever," Oasis (Hope springs eternal)
"Don't You Forget About Me," Simple Minds (I mean, how could you?)

Yeah, I know. It's a bit twisted, but hey, I said at the very beginning that it was morbid, but interesting.

F'Real?

I don't get people. As in "at all."

Yeah, I know. That's nothing new.

Last night, I had the pleasure of crossing paths with a self-loathing 'mo. Most of the time, these people fascinate me. Perhaps, it's the bubble i've built for myself where I'm immune to homophobia. And, before any of you start - my life is pretty much that. I work for a gay owned and operated business. I live a block from 10th and Piedmont, Atlanta's queerest intersection. Yeah, as a society we're heading in the right direction and I'm riding that f'n wave like a bandit.

But, I digress, self-hateration was all up in the dancery and I was less than thrilled. At some point, his drunk ass was just spouting random portions of a sentence, but lacking the cohesive force to make a list of words INTO a sentence. I just calmly looked at him and said "Jar Jar Binks, you wanna ease off the haiku talk?"

He got all kinds of upset. It was explained to me later that my reference of Jar Jar Binks (the GAYest character in Sci-Fi apparently) sent him over the edge. Ok, I realize there's a lot to that equation, but I'll try to keep it to the basics. First off, I called him Jar Jar cause of the manner in which he was speaking, not because of the earrings or fruity talk. Second of all, Dude, you're in a fucking gay bar, get used to the lingo and the quips. It's what we do as a HOBBY. Third, yeah sucking dick and making out with guys pretty much makes you a 'mo. Book the tanning booth and buy the gym membership, you're already there.

Ok, so highlights of this past week:


Starting travel plans to be here.

And here.

And on a few of these dates.

Oh, and I'm still getting yelled at for missing my flight for this.

Sorry boys, I'll so be there next year.

Beat Down

Pre-Pride Season is whooping my ass. Yesterday, I caught myself talking to a client about an artist and writing an e-mail at the same time. About half-way through the conversation I realized I had forgot who the client was and which artist I was supposed to be switching out. Thankfully, I was clever enough to look at the Caller ID and catch myself up to speed.

"Of course, CHAD, we can get DEBORAH in there." Hee.

Thankfully, we don't have any artists traveling and/or performing this weekend except for DJs. And, the firefighting is so minimal with them. I actually have a weekend to relax. I need some down time. (JAZZ HANDS) Yeah, don't ask.

Yesterday, I told my boss that our new slogan should be "breaking the spirits of promoters and clubs across the globe."

He told me to get back to work.

I said "ok."

So, R & R this weekend. I was all excited about hitting the Renaissance Festival with Ferg too. No, seriously. There was something about escaping into a surreal change of scenery, screaming out "Your finest ale, Wench" and beating Ferg with a turkey drumstick.

But, it's supposed to rain. Again. All Weekend. How. F'n. Beat. Down.

Seriously?

Ok, so I was given a challenge to make a recent AI contestant marketable to the queer club masses.

My first reaction was "he was already (and thank you Jacob for this one) teabagging out-of-town businessmen in a gay strip club - how much more marketable do you need him to be exactly?"

DG, immune to my snarks at this point, continued on unfettered.

I now have to think of dance floor ready tunes for this dude to sing (if that Broadway deal doesn't go through) at queer clubs across the nation. Well, here in lies the problem - there aren't that many male vocal tracks and the ones that are in his range, I really don't want him bastardizing.

So far, here's what I came up with:

"True Faith" - New Order
"I Like The Way You Move" - Body Rockers
"Your Song (Remix)" - Moulin Rouge or Elton, whatevs
"A Little More Love" - David Guetta
"Gotta Get Thru This" - Daniel Bedingfield

Sigh.

At least there's Avril tonight to keep me entertained. It's a great group too - Ferg, BeX, E, DT and JD. ("What if we didn't get the text?" Heh. Fucker.)

And then tomorrow - Birmingham or Dallas. I'm really not that motivated for either to be honest.

Self Explanatory

Ok, so JD makes me chuckle sometimes.

I sent out a text that said:

Mark your calendars kids - I have tickets for the (deleted for privacy) show. If you got this, I'm reserving a ticket for you.

Ferg responds with "I'm there."

E says "Sa+weet," which I'm assuming he meant "suh-weet" or "sweet" for the white folks.

BH, JE and RB are sending me text high-fives and shit.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

JD responds with "What if we didn't get this?"

I'll give it to him, I actually smiled and laughed. Ass.

Goodbye, My Love

So, last year, E and DJ KC went with me to Orlando for a couple of days just to get away. It was fun as hell and filled with shopping, fine-ish dining and drinking. Yes, lots of drinking.

On one of our shopping expeditions, we ran across a PUMA Outlet. Now, I heart me some PUMA. I heart it more than most people. I found this really cool limited edition pit crew mechanic's shirt in charcoal that I needed in my life. It has been my favorite shirt since I brought him home with me.

The other week, I was lunching with the Fratypus and knocked a fork off the table. I brushed against the side of the table that had some blue cheese dressing that fell off the little cup it came in. I thought, eh, I'll just throw it in the wash and call it a day. THREE F'N washes later and the stain is still there. Even Wet Platinum doesn't make such a stain. Blue Cheese dressing ruined my favorite shirt, my poor limited edition pit crew mechanic's shirt in charcoal.

My world has come to an end. The preciously cute highlight of my wardrobe can no longer be seen out in public. He'll be demoted to the chillin' around the house portion of my closet. It's so sad. Can he get a moment of silence please? It's just an atrocity, an abomination, a brutality to let go of such cute fashion. He was so good to me.

I guess it's a good thing I also bought it in sky blue.

You Know You're Fucked...

...when you tell your boss you have abandonment issues over an instant message and all of a sudden he signs off.

Yeah, thanks D.

I don't really have abandonment issues, it's stuff I say randomly to keep people on their toes - and, don't f'n start, you shady bitches know you do it too. I think my boss' response warranted a mention though.

All Right, let's name drop, shall we?

in the past couple of weeks, I booked out Andy Bell from Erasure to IML's 30th Anniversary in Chicago, found a chorus and a couple of cute break dancers in Miami (within less than 48 hours no less) to back Deborah for her performance at the GLAAD Media Awards this Saturday, knocked out entertainment for Prides in Dayton, Ohio (don't ask) and Washington DC, as well as Long Beach. In short, I feel accomplished.

Also in the past couple of weeks were back to back LA invasions on Atlanta. Dear friend and also agent extraordinaire PR came to town for Phil B's gig at WETbar and Tony's gig at Opera for the rather lackluster C2 event. Then, a week later LA hubby AB stopped by for Erika Jayne's appearance at WETbar. And, yeah, I don't know who Erika is either, apparently she had a number one on the Billboard Charts with a tune called "Rollercoaster," which I, umm never heard of.

On Tap:
-Purple Party in Dallas (We have Deborah performing, PR has Phil, Alyson and Joe spinning)
-Ashley's pageant in Lexington
-Deborah doing Long Beach Pride (yay for invading the West Coast)
-Andy Bell in Chicago for IML's 30th Anniversary - yeah, and me without a harness

Perplexed

Everyday is a struggle to suppress my high levels of paranoia, cynicism and rage. I see it creep out occasionally as I layout random people at FedEx, Chick-Fil-A and other various places but truth be told, it's their fucking fault.

I'm having a level of confusion that is hard to explain. You know I'm going to try though, right?

All right, so it's pretty clear I've had issues with key people in the past - some of them public, some of them private. This one was more of a public level issue. It was no well kept secret that she talked major shit about me, would deny it and I would fire back. Usually, it was just to satisfy my need to vent, but the flip side is that I have quite a few readers. So, in real time that means a private vent for me is a public roast for others. Heh.

Moving along, a mentor recently pointed out that carrying a grudge is hardly beneficial for either person - especially if the ultimate karma has already been paid back. So, grudgingly I admit that he has a point. So, I'm letting it go. From here on forward, it's water under the bridge. Don't get me wrong, I won't take anything back, but I will not perpetuate it any more. I graduated from high school in 1994. I'm older and therefore, wiser. Or something. And besides, I've done my fair share of "err," it's time to gun for "divine."

All right, that's it for now, time to get back to work.

What's today's date again?

Boss Hog

Once upon a time, a very large, round and obnoxious man that resembled Boss Hog from the Dukes of Hazard (and even dressed up like him during Halloween of 2006) upset the sorta happy balance of Atlanta night life. He brought in controversial artists for his own amusement, broke up great cabaret casts, purchased a country bar just to compete and even screwed over a pretty popular recurring character on Will & Grace.

And, the sad thing is, I actually had to be fucking nice to him. You see, when large, round and obnoxious men like Boss Hog throw lots of cash around, you kinda have no choice but be nice to them since your friends have been forced to jump through hoops like circus poodles. Motherfucker. Oh, and did I mention how many times he set us up for failure? Yeah, he did - A LOT. And, time after time, we (ahem, they) fell for it.

You smile, nod and hit it in the other direction when you can. I know I did. Actually, most of the staff did too come to think of it. But, bygones, you know? Heh. Come on now, you gots to know there's NEVER bygones with me. I hold grudges. And, I have magical thinking. No, seriously. I barely believe it myself. But, the facts are pretty much in my favor. I've seen not one, but two of my rivals, hmm, no, that would mean I considered them equals; adversaries? Hmm, no, that would mean I was concerned with them. Fuck it, two people I didn't like get bitch slapped by karma in the past couple of months. Well, as a two day late birthday present, a third one can be added to the list.

The very large, round, obnoxious man mentioned earlier in this fairy's tale, BE, got arrested in Tennessee by the FBI. I guess you really can keep a good ho down. Heh.

Weekend Update

Busy ass day, but here's a quick re-cap:

-Ashley and Bianca turned it at GA USofA and GA USofA Classic - I guess we're going to nationals. Hmm, still on the fence about that, details forthcoming.

-They've missed me at Bliz-ake's. Everyone was so warm and demanding where I've been for half a year. Other than that, good drinking times with E, Ferg, DJ KC, Morganza and the return of lil' Wes.

-Billy Carroll is da' MAN. I heart him. I also met DJ VC's new husband - very sweet and very cute. And, they're a nauseating couple. They really are.

-She's still a fired embezzler. Viva La Genre Resistance!

-And, last but not least - the number of people that has said "what goes around, comes around," referenced "karma" or "you were right" to me in the past week: 34 and counting (not bullshitting either)

ADDENDUM:
Now, here's my thing. I kinda feel sorry for the people that bitch had snowballed. I mean, for real, they were like under a spell or some shit. I mean, they BELIEVED her at every turn and didn't bother to even verify anything. I almost have to give the bitch props, you know? That's a serious performance. Perhaps it can be a talent at a pageant. As a judge, I'd score it pretty high in creativity.

I can proudly say that my friends weren't part of that "fell for it" group. We were the eye-rollers and the ones checking the calendars and clocks to see when time would finally run out. I guess you are the company you keep and we're some smart bitches. High-fives all around y'all.

Break A Leg, Bitches!

Best of luck to my dear friends ASHLEY KRUIZ and BIANCA NICOLE on their quest to becoming the next Miss Georgia USofA Classic and Miss Georgia USofA, respectively.

They'll be competing tonight at WILD MUSTANG.

It's not that I wish bad luck on the other contestants or anything; it's just well, I don't know the rest of y'all like that. Ashley and Bianca are family.

Dear Genre, Ain't It Funny?

It's all in perspective, I guess.

In your reality: It's a career change.
In everyone else's reality: It's a termination.

In your reality: It's only a couple hundred dollars here and there.
In everyone else's reality: From misdemeanor to felony.

In your reality: Why does their problems become my problems?
In everyone else's reality: "I really want this position as MC, I feel it's my responsibility to step up to the plate as the company's senior manager."

In your reality: "Genre got in my face and screamed at me; I will not be treated this way."
In everyone else's reality: More than two people, including me, watched you step up to Genre and provoke him until he was cornered by the sink and had to scream for you to leave him alone.

In your reality: It's a sponsorship for an upcoming pageant.
In everyone else's reality: So, why is it going in your purse?

In your reality: It's change for the bartenders downstairs.
In everyone else's reality: The dope delivery has arrived and I don't have cash!

In your reality: Big Daddy, JN was just someone in your way.
In everyone else's reality: You tried to get us to get in on your scheme, we pretended that conversation never happened. JN lowered the boom on ya' didn't he? Ha.

In your reality: You're Charlie Brown.
In everyone else's reality: Hiring the cast SHE put together and racial insults on the microphone does NOT make you Charlie Brown - just a cheap imitation.

In your reality: Hiring Burkhart's old management was a spiteful move towards M.E.P. and showed everyone you have all the power.
In everyone's reality: They clocked your shadiness and cost you your gig. It's almost a cliche', but funny as fuck.

In your reality: You solidified your spot in ATL night life history.
In everyone else's reality: As a fired embezzler.

And, for anyone that questions my decision to post this - read it again.

Love Always,
Arman

Magical Thinking

I've said it before and it applies one more time. It's kinda odd how you wish bad on someone and then it happens and you kind of feel guilty. Granted, the previous time was more of a "damn, I really am going straight to hell" moment than this time around, but damn karma is one slick bitch. This time, it's more of a "that's what you get, biaaatch - SUCK IT!"

Fine, I admit it - I was walking around singing "Ding Dong, the Wicked Witch - which old witch? The Wicked Witch!" for the majority of the afternoon, but that's all. All right, I might have called half a dozen people and conference called another half dozen, but I think that's it. Oh wait, a couple of e-mails too now that I think about it.

Let's make a list of things that are more fun than getting what you want. Time's up! What did you come up with? "Nothing"? Can't argue that.

All right, who's next for me to set my brain on?

I Used to Feel So Uninspired

Yeah, I know it's been nearly two months since I dropped a new entry, but things have been busy (read: uninspiring). I've been plugging away at various projects and the DRIVE gig and oddly content. Usually, I tend to talk about things that have been bothering me and for the most part, things have been great. Thus, uninspiring for a blog. See, this is my therapy and lately, I haven't had the need for any.

I could talk about other things, but I choose not to - some things aren't available for print; the job is going fantastic with lots of travel coming up around the corner; socially, I'm happy being single and hanging out with the dear friends I have; I've re-established my friendship with one of my favorite mentors - BW and we picked up right where we left off after we cleared the air on some things.

The really interesting stuff I can't talk about, the stuff I can talk about bores me to naptime and by the time I even think about processing my thoughts into copy, I'm bored with myself.

See? I told you guys. Say it with me, class: UNINSPIRED.

Oh, I guess I could talk about what happened with...nah, water under the bridge.

OH! OH ! OH! I will say this to a certain adversary and sing along if you know the words: Molly... you in danger, girl.

Karma's a bitch ain't she? Well, I got two words for ya - SUCK IT!

You deserve all the shit you get.

Love,
Arman

ADDENDUM:

Ok, so I just remembered (see: reminded rather rudely) I haven't done any name dropping in a while, so here we go:

-Dinner with Chad Jack, fun times except he was in a bit of a funk - happy to report he's out of it now and his JAN 08 Promo CD is the f'n jam - leave me a message if you want one of these cute ass 'for promotional use only' CDs.

-RB and I swiped cookies out of Deborah Cox' dressing room at WETbar, hey, she told me she wasn't going to eat them, so technically we didn't steal them - just swiped. And, silly bartender, of course you can't have any.

-The Don of the Velvet Mafia, Elton John said "hi" to me via my boss' BlackBerry - that was kinda neat and shocking to hear.

-Hung out with Jeanie Tracy for two days - took her to the drag store and for sushi, she's like my favorite aunt I never had that umm sang for the Weather Girls, Two Tons of Fun and backup for Sylvester, not to mention had every gay man twirling around singing "Cha Cha Heels."

There, fuckers, are ya' happy now?

Ta Ta

Dear 2007,

First off, I'd like to thank you for all the wonderful people I met in your twelve months. I've learned a lot from them and appreciate every opportunity that came my way. I also want to thank you for keeping all the people I already knew safe and in good health. At the end of the day, that's what matters most I think.

Next, I'd like to say that I won't really miss you. I'm sorry, but it's true. I'll try to only keep the fond memories with me. Unfortunately and regrettably, the bad ones left scars. And, thanks to close friends and guardian angels, I've already recovered quite nicely from those. I'll try not to carry the bitterness into your successor, who is already looking to whoop your ass across the boards.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh and your role in my life has always just been a springboard for 2008. If that is the case, then please accept my humble apologies as I'll learn to appreciate you for what you were in later days. Actually, on second thought, perhaps you were just a life lesson - a prep course for what's to come and what to look out for. But, then that means you were merely a cautionary tale, which I'm not a fan of anyway.

I guess what I"m trying to say is that I don't know what to think of you. I think the measure of a good year is how many times you wished for the following year to start so you could start over from scratch. I have to admit, towards the end of you, it was a daily wish for me.

And, here we are. We parted ways on the dance floor while I was surrounded by some of the nearest and dearest, but I needed some closure. I don't really care what you have to say for yourself, it doesn't matter much. I mean, your time is up.

So, 2008, how ya' doing? Your first impression was amazing. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Cheers,
Arman

Sound Check

So, on my six hour drive back from my mom’s house, I began to think back on 2007. Naturally, I had the music pumping and started calculating my favorite tunes of the year. Oddly enough, most of the songs made me think about my partners in crime and some of the moments we’ve had to them, whether road trips or jamming out in the club before the doors opened.

At any rate, without further ado, my Top 15 Tunes for 2007:

15. "Who Knew/U + Ur Hand" | Pink (DJ KC/Ashley K/E/Alyssa/Heather D/Ferg/ JD)

14. "Big Love (Rub-A-Dub Mix)" | Peter Heller (DJ BB/DJ KC/DJ Phil B/DJ Joe G)

13. "Fidelity" | Regina Spektor

12. "Love Like This" | Natasha Bedingfield (Ashley K, Ferg, E)

11. "No One" | Alicia Keys (Ferg, E)

10. “Raise the Roof” | Tracey Thorn

9. “It Ends Tonight” | All-American Rejects (Genre/Diego/JD)

8. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” | Fergie (E/DJ KC)

7. “The Heart of the Matter” | India.Aire (DG)

6. “Booty Bangs (Bill Hamel Mix)” | Jesse Malay feat. Young Joc (BH)

5. “Automatic" | Ultra Nate' (Ashley K, Ferg, E, DJ KC)

4. “Give It To Me (Jeremy Word Mix)” | Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake (DJ BB/E)

3. “Let Me Think About It” | Ida Corr vs. Fedde La Gant (BH/DJ CJ/DJ KC)

2. “Just Fine (David Morales Mix)” | Mary J. Blige (Ferg/E/DG/Ashley K)

1. “Apologize” | OneRepublic (for the record, E, JD, Bill Berdeaux and I discovered this long before the heavy airplay or their appearance on SYTYCD – no, seriously, ask the cleaning crew at WETbar)

And even though they’re quite older, these are my audio muses going into 2008:

-“Someone To Hold” | Veronica
-“Switch Up” | Paul Oakenfold feat. Ryan Tedder
-“They Say Vision (Robbie Rivera Mix)” | Res
-“Dive” | Debby Holiday
-“Am I Here Yet? (Return to Sender)” | Billie Myers

It’ll all make sense later, I promise.

Fuh-Cough

"Anything you can do I can do better..."

And, a bit more apropos...

Choose life.

Choose a job.

Choose a career.

Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life...

It's not my drama, I ain't playing any guest roles in it. Nor will I endorse or represent the former life, be a touch tone to it or a reminder. Fuck that. Go, live that fabulous fucking life. Just don't expect me to fake a smile on my face while you try to convince yourself life is so much better. My life is just fine, fine, fine. I just don't need someone that hit it to another country to downplay it.

My turn. Fuck Off.

Overload

So much going on - it's kind of hard to prioritize.

So, here's a list

-Brazil bookings, hello Sao Paolo and Rio de Janeiro in 2008
-Reality TV Show, yeah long story - still in denial about that one
-Bring that beat back - I'm trying that's all I'm saying
-Holidays - bah humbug

Who Woulda Thought?

So, while I was in agonizing pain over the weekend, I learned that:

-In Snickerdoodle cookies, there are no Snickers parts; it's a spice cookie. Yeah, the entire time I thought it would have the same components as a Snickers bar - you know caramel, peanuts, chocolate, nougat. Wow, I played myself on that one. Talk about the disappointment of cinnamon and nutmeg when expecting a candy and cookie party.

-Flesh eating zombies can run pretty fast and swim too! Thanks to the movie 28 Weeks Later for that.

-And, thanks to Ferg, I now know that human heads weigh an average of eight pounds. And, that's without hair, hair product, jewelry or necks.

Damn, I'm Getting Old

Ok, so I was cruising YouTube today and somehow ended up watching LIVE videos.

I had a moment to this one:


I f'n love this song. And then, I realized it was released 10 years ago.

Damn, I'm getting f'n old.

72 Hours

In less than 72 hours, all hell breaks loose; the ISM returns to the ATL.

My liver has already jumped out the window in fright.

Holiday Slump

It's kinda odd but I'm so ambivalent towards the Holidays this year. Maybe it's the Inconvenient Truth type weather (Atlanta is logging in at a 70 degrees and sunny) or perhaps it's knowing after the holidays that play time is over.

Yeah, maybe that's it.

I mean I've been doing everything I would normally do during the holidays - the parties, the shopping, the blitz of holiday movies but it's all kind of just bland as a whole. The sum of the parts are rather scintillating, but as a whole just a lotta lackluster. Perhaps I'll consult the oracles (see: friends).

Golden Compass

Super hot. Hands down, just a brilliant picture.

Nicole Kidman never looked better - talk about muggin' the house DOWN.

Ferg and I were completely spellbound the entire movie. I need a morphing demon, an armored polar bear, a guardian witch and Daniel Craig as my uncle.

And, is the alleged religious uproar over the movie for the same reasons as the anti-Harry Potter movement? Because, to me, it was just a well executed modern fable. Jesus freaks, please step down - you're killing the nation's imagination, not to mention my buzz.

Can someone please explain it to me, cause I. Don't. Get. It.

Class, discuss.

Addendum:
Just out of curiosity I went to the official Golden Compass website thanks to a tip by RB and got a daemon assigned to me. Her name is Clymonistra and she's a crow.

I'm not too happy about it, I was kind of hoping for a dolphin cause they're sleek and pretty - not practical, but cool nonetheless. My second choice was a rhino because it can plow over everyone else's daemon.

I told RB about my crow and after he bragged about his snow leopard ("just like Daniel Craig") he told me this about crows:
John Faa, the leader of the Gyptians has a crow. And, the Crow is the soul of magic and link to the spirit world (alchemical symbol).

Sorry Clymonistra, you're pretty dope.

Nibbley Things

So, it's been a rather interesting week. So busy, in fact, I almost forgot the "LA Hubby" was coming into town. LA Hubby is my dear friend Andrew, the CEO of Tango Blues Entertainment. We bonded during my time at MOISTbar. We booked so much of his talent that I spoke to him at least four times a day. It got to the point where if either of us was on the phone that anyone in the room with him or me just assumed we were on the phone with one another. Hence, I became his "ATL hubby" and he has become the "LA hubby."

This past Thursday, he came into town with two of his newest artists in tow - Shaun and Paul from the new season of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. I recruited my own entourage of pretty people - Ferg, Chase and Josh who all graciously agreed to come to dinner at TWO Urban Licks.

It was so good to see Andrew again. He's just one of my favorite people in the world. Shaun and Paul are pretty cool too and totally not what I expected them to be. Ok, not to be busy, but I was expecting them to be a girl and bigger girl. Not at all, one was almost roughneck/thuggish while the other was just quiet and mellow. I will say this though, those bastards can f'n drink. And, I mean to the last man standing point. No, seriously.

Dinner was great - for the company. This was the first time I've ever been disappointed with TWO Urban. Don't get me wrong, the food was still really tasty (see: Pork and Macaroni and Cheese), but the service su-u-u-u-u-u-ucked. But, it was the first time it's ever sucked so I'll totally go back, but if it happens again, I may have to search for a new favorite restaurant to entertain out of town guests.

Ok, that's a wrap until Monday, I have to get my butt in gear. Tonight is Chase's husband's 30th birthday and I promised I'd give them a hand.

Proceed With Caution

I'm in a truth-telling mood. It's probably best I keep to myself today.

'Tis the Season

Last night was the Annual Toy Party. If there are two events in Atlanta that I make it a point to get to every year, it's Joining Hearts in July and Toy Party in December. Both are just such good causes that you can't help but have a good time.

So, here's the deal, you buy a toy and bring it with you to the event. You play dress up, donate the toy and drink the house down. Yeah, good times. Even better is the shopping expedition to buy the toy with the boys. This year, it was at Target with Ferg, E and CC. While all of us ended up buying toys for boys (I picked the Diego Lego Set), I noticed some were spending way too much time with the Barbies and Bratz Dolls. We won't talk about Ferg debating on the robot puppies. But, yeah, they were definitely cute.

As per usual, by the time the event rolled around, several people up and cancelled. But, alas, Ferg was still game and Ad-Rock was already en route. We had a blast. One of the reasons why I adore this event is all the people you run into that you haven't seen in ages. Everybody loves a good benefit. I suspect it's cause it makes them feel so cosmopolitan, you know? Ferg and I ran into some of our favorite alcoholics - xoxoJeffrey, Alfono and AtlantaBoy. We also ran into some ex-trade here (mostly Ferg's Spicy Chicken) and there and a whole lot of cuteness that doesn't exist in the bar and club scene. I coulda swore that was Anderson Cooper. But, bygones.

Now, the trick to enjoying yourself at Toy Party is to work the drink lines. One never really stands in line for the cocktails, you simply walk up and down until you discover somebody you know towards the front, feign a conversation and kind of merge into them. Either that or hand your tickets off and ask them to order your drink for you. I discovered this nifty trick years ago and it works like a charm. It beats the fifty plus person deep line at each bartender.

I also learned that you hit it out of there no later than 8:30 or risk getting stuck in the Parking Garage for up to 45 minutes killed down. Yeah, once you do that with NPB in the car with you, you kinda learn not to take your chances. We ended up at Joe's cause I was s t a r v i n g and was able to convince Ferg to eat with me. He's always so good and orders some fried chicken salad thing. I go straight for the fried stuff dipped in heavy sauces. Ah well, 'tis the season and all that...

F'n Planetary Alignments...

I'm guessing Mercury must be in retrograde again cause communication is all kinds of f'ed up.

First, my Adium goes all haywire and all I can get out of it is the little beachball of death. For Mac users, you know it as the beachball, for PC users, it's pretty much a spinning color wheel that means "Error, You're F'ed." Also for PC users, Adium is a nifty little program that combines your AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger and MySpace Chat into one box.

Next, I try calling Ferg and his outgoing message says that his voicemail box has not been set up. Umm, yes it has, I talk to it on a regular basis.

Now, RB has claimed to hang himself if I'm not online to talk him down off the chair. That may be a little extreme, but it's nice to know I do some good in the world.

Finally, ninja DG lost his tennis racket in a cab. This really has nothing to do with this post, but I kinda think it's funny. And, we all know how much I like to end things on a funny note.

ADDENDUM:
Ok, so if you're using Adium and you have AIM, MSN and MySpace on there, you're bound to have difficulties. Go ahead and disengage the MySpace Chat cause that's what's fucking you up. If you MUST have it, disengage it prior to shutting it off and then enable it AFTER you sign on.

Just One More Hit, I Promise i Can Deal With It

This past Tuesday, I scored some tickets to the Kelly Clarkson concert up in Cobb County. Apparently, it’s only the second show in the venue with Annie Lennox being the first. Yeah, I’m still kicking myself for missing that.

For the record, I’m a semi-Kelly fan. I’ve dug most of her releases. Would I have gone if the tickets weren’t a business write-off or really good seats? Eh, probably not. But, I’m glad I did.

The funniest part about getting the tickets was my back and forth IMs with my ninja boss, DG. It went something like this:

DG: I got your tickets for tonight…
ME: Oh to the Miss Independent/Miss Almost Dropped From My Label Tour?
DG: No, that was last year, this year it’s the “Break Away from the Billboard Chart” Tour
ME: I hope she goes in chronological order of her singles and opens with “A Moment Like This”
DG: I doubt it, now is not a moment she wants to remember

Yeah, we can be pretty vicious all jacked up on caffeine. At any rate, Ferg was able to go with me and for business purposes I also roped along RB and AS. Ok, so here’s my thing, if you have to do stuff for business reasons, make sure the people you’re doing it for are actually pretty fun. And, this time around, they definitely were.

As with most concerts, I had my short list of songs that I hoped she would perform. They’re both of the darker and rocker variety, so I knew the chances were really good that she’d do them. And, yeah, she did. The two were “Addicted” and “Walk Away.” And, I have no shame in reporting that I sang along to the former and wiggled it a little bit to the latter.

Ferg, RB and AS however were bouncing up and down every single time Kelly did her little onstage hop. Can we talk about RB knowing every single f’n lyric of every f’n song? I ain’t mad atcha playa, I would have been that way for the Annie show I’m quite sure.

Did I mention we were all pretty buzzed too? Well, we kinda had to be. A) We were in Cobb County B) there were a lot of kids in there and that’s of the under the age of 15 variety and C) there were some pretty killing queens there too. Oh, and a little tip to anyone that is thinking about heading out to a show in Cobb, your choices of shots are pretty limited. There’s Grand Marnier and low level tequila (no Patron) but everything else is just everything chilled or neat.

Umm yeah, three shots of vodka chilled and a Jack Daniels neat for RB, thanks. Just driz-uunk.

I digress, back to the show. Kelly’s wardrobe was a mis-fire as per usual. One outfit the entire show with the exception of the very beginning where she had the signature red gown on from all of “My December’s” promotional material. Underneath she had the outfit she would wear the entire show, a royal blue empire waist top and black slacks. At half time she would throw a black vest over it.

Yeah, boring. Can we get some pretty sparkly things on her please?

The set design was pretty weak too come to think of it. The girl is definitely concentrating on her mega-hits and her personality to carry her from show-to-show. I ain’t mad at her though. Those are her strong points. She really does have this uncanny ability to draw the audience in.

She did most of her chart-toppers and a lot of stuff from the new album – my favorite being “Chivas” a song she claims to have written on a bunch of bar napkins according to the pre-cursor story she told before performing it acoustically.

Wardrobe was a 6.5; Stage Setting also at a 6.5; Song Selection was a solid 10; Crowd banter was a strong 9. At the end of the day, I’m definitely glad I went and was really happy with the crew that I went with.

Now, the afterparty at Swinging Richard’s is a whole other blog…

Mmm, bananas. Ha, Ferg.

Merge and Keep With The Flow of Traffic

Anyone that knows me knows that I do my best to take the High Road. I think it's because I believe in the old Grand Puba cut - 360 - What Goes Around Comes Around. However, this totally conflicts with my current mindset which is "get them before they get you."

Now I'm at this point in the road where the High Road and the Low Road kind of merge. I think it's about time to just keep with the flow of traffic.

After some thought, yes, things in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear. This just means that what goes around is coming around that much closer.

Bored now.

Anti-Social

So, after Thanksgiving, I've spent the past couple of nights just relaxing by myself. Usually, in one weekend I see an entirely different rotation of friends each day. This past weekend, however - zip.

I think I'm just feeling anti-social. Perhaps it's the Holidays, which always tend to make people feel one way oor the other - no grey areas there.

Either that or it's the Buffy-crack I've been addicted to. You see, I caught one episode on tv and randomly asked my buddy RB a question about the Vampire Slayer. Low and behold, the man has the entire series of Buffy on DVD (and has even given me the Angel crossovers to boot). So one by one, he's been loaning them to me like a Buffy-dealer.

Honestly, the show is really good, a fact backed up by actually ranking in TV Guide's Top 25 Best TV Shows of ALL TIME.

Wow, I'm actually defending my addiction.

A true sign of an addict.

Ok, I'm going back to being anti-social again.

Gobble Gobble, Bitches

All right boys and girls, just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. All apologies for the mass message, but you know I’m quite popular.

If you’re traveling, please be safe as there’s a bunch of alcoholics like me on the road.

Have fun, stay away from the tofurkey and most importantly, enjoy the time with the friends and family.

Cheers,
Arman

Dear Tyler,

I know you're not feeling well, so I'll cut you some slack.

I just ask that you stop projecting, stop trying to "own me," and furthermore, please stop acting like you ain't from 'round here.

Enough with the "sod," "bloody," "wanker," "sort," and any other British lingo you may have picked up.

I'm all about progress, but seriously? C'mon now.

Love Always,
Arman

PS I hope you feel better soon and I can't wait to pimpslap, I mean see you in a few weeks.

Go 'Head Mary...

There are several artists that would comprise the soundtrack of my life. Annie Lennox, Everything but the Girl and Mary J. Blige would definitely have the most tracks on that soundtrack.

Well, the latter done did it again. Here newest single is just sick.



The lyrics:
You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it’s something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna…..Woooh

Let it go……
Can’t let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can’t let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Aint worried about you and what you gonna do
I’m a lady so I must stay classy
Got to keep it hot, keep it together
If I want to get better
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

I aint gon’ let nothing get in my way
(I ain't gone let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way)
I ain’t gon’ let nothing get in my way
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It’s a really good thing to say
That I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain’t gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Copy that, Mary J.

Too Many TImes Before

I've had Maroon5's "This Love" in my head since I woke up this morning. I have no idea why, I haven't heard it in weeks.

Patti is in town again this weekend for WETbar's 2nd of its Two Anniversary Events. Which I designed. Anyway, bygones.

She's so on LA time. I crashed at around 2am last night, she was still awake watching Harry Potter when I got up to use the bathroom at 6am. And, now? Well she's totally passed out on the couch - she never made it to her bed.

I love that she crashes here everytime she's in town - it's kinda great.

Any who, Phil, Kristine and JP are in town this weekend. We're all supposed to have dinner either today or tomorrow.

Updates on that later - this love has taken its toll on me, she says good-bye - damn it. I hear you Adam Levine.

Big GAY Survey

Answer truthfully so your myspace friends can know a bit more about you. It's fun!

Body:
1. How Old Were You When You Knew You Were Gay?
Don’t remember the age – I came to grips with it at around 17 though.

2. Have You Ever Had Sex With The Opposite Sex?
Once. We were f’n plastered. Come to think of it, I dunno if I was good.

3. Who Is The First Person You Came Out To?
My dear friend Yanique. She knew before I did.

4. Are You Out To Your Parents?
Parent. She rocks about the entire thing.

5. Do You Want Children?
Perhaps. I love my nieces and nephews to pieces so based on my adoration for them, yes.

6. Do You Have More Gay Friends or Straight Friends?
I’d like to think a fair balance, but the truth of the matter is that they’re mostly of the rainbow flag carrying persuasion.

7. Were You Out in School?
Nope, not in that backwoods town. College was a different ball game. Ha, balls.

8. Is Your Best Friend The Same Sex As You?
I don’t have a best friend. I have a very close circle of friends. And they’re of a variety of sexes – male, female, m-t-f, f-t-m and I love them unconditionally.

9. If Your Best Friend Is The Same Sex, have you ever kissed them?
Yes, I kiss my friends. But, not in the tongue wrestling kind of way.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
Yes, the mid 90’s fried the hell out of some of my brain cells.

11. Have You Ever Been In A Sling
Nope, not my gig.

12. Have You Ever Done A 3-way??
Nope, not my gig.

13. Have You Ever Dressed In Drag?
Again, not my gig. I book them on a regular occasion though.

13a. Would you date a Drag queen?
Trying to remember if I have.

14. Are You A Top/Bottom or truly Versatile?
Not without dinner and cocktails first…

15. Have You Seen An Uncircumsized thingy?
This is America…

16. Have You Had Sex With Someone of A Different Race?
Yes.

17. Have You Ever Barebacked?
Not without dinner and cocktails first…

18. How Many Cher CDs do you own?
Umm, at least three. Hey now, in a former life I was a music critic for a gay magazine – you do the math.

19. Name Of Your First True Love?
Wes

20. Do You Still Talk To them?
Not really, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

21. Does size matter..?
Not as much as chemistry.

22. Biggest Turn Ons?
Quiet confidence, intelligence, sly smile, fashionable tastes
23. Biggest Turn Offs?
Trying too hard, obnoxious, being inconsiderate

24. Ever Been Harrassed Because You Are Gay?
Honestly, I can’t say that I have been.

25. Worst Gay Stereotypes That Applies to you?
Label whore, extracurricular activities, snide comments

26. Ever Been To A Pride Rally?
I’ve helped organize them.

27. Would You Marry If You Could?
Definitely.

28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich. The other three I’ve got down to a science.

29. Do You Sculpt Your Eyebrows?
Yes, they’re trimmed.

30. Do You Trim Your Body hair?
I almost put this down as Number 25.

31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
Yes, also in the mid 90’s.

32. Ever been to an orgy?
No, I don’t even watch them on pornos.

33. Have you dated your best friends ex?
Negatory – that is such bad form.

34. Would you vote for Hilary Clinton if she ran for president?
With no hesitation. I hope Barrack considers running as her Vice.

35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
Isn’t she a tranny in Orlando?

36. Do you believe in true love?
I’m back and forth on this one

37. Do you have any tattoos?
No, too permanent.

38. Do you have any piercings?
Several.

39. Would you date a smoker?
Every guy I’ve ever dated has smoked.


42. Do you know what Stonewall was?
I personally think it should be a requirement for anyone that attends any Pride event across the country. In short, yes I do.

43. Wonder Woman, Xena or The Halliwell Sisters
Kristine W., Deborah Cox, Ultra Nate’

44. Strangest place you have had sex?
I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to that – showers, bed, couch.

45. Strangest place you've woken up?
Bathroom floor.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
In front of me, for sure. The past was just a warm-up.

47. Favorite porn movie?
Don’t have one in particular, I have favorite scenes though.

48. Are you in love now?
Yes, with myself. It took a while.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
I’ve lusted after, but not fallen in love with one.

50. Did you ever have sex with them?
No, but I’ve made out with some “straight” guys before.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Yes, completely on accident.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Yes, years ago when my roommate did the financials for one and his car broke down. I took a tour when I picked him up.

Just Missed It

So, CC decided the old theme of my blog was orange. Umm, not so much. It's green.

After he mentioned it, I decided I wanted my old template back. I'm keeping the new tagline though. It's where I am NOW.

It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day...

Today was an extremely productive and good news yielding day.

I'm so f'n excited.

To celebrate, I actually changed up the look of my blog for the first time in like over a year. I really like it.

Thoughts?

Yawn

So, I just checked out a couple of my favorite bloggers and realized either a) they've gotten really domestic and boring or b) I can't relate to them anymore. There are certain bloggers whom I have a certain affection for simply because of the way they zing up an otherwise ordinary tale (see: boysbriefs), but even their concentration has been off its mark as of late.

Not to say that Guest List is that much more interesting, cause truth is even I get bored with myself talking about various gigs, family and friends.

Fuck me, I'm getting old.

(Sidebar: I've been keeping a journal of a side project I'm working on and when that comes into the execution phase of the project, I'll probably backtrack and post it. Right now, it's in the conceptualization phase which is proving to be a nice swift kick in the arse to the creative mind, not to mention an inspiration to the creatively stagnant. You guys can thank me later.)

Get On It, Wench

Dear Tyler,

I have successfully comment bombed you on your blog and Ferg's blog. If you're going to be up for hours before Ferg or me, then you better get on it, wench. Please have something clever up on your blog or a witty retort for a previous day's post.

All this "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UP" nonsense is so beneath you. You are, after all, up against my exquisite wit.

Love Always,
The Supreme Master of the Universe (say it with me now)
Arman

PS For those of you who do not know the dynamic of our friendship - this is pure sarcasm. Don't think of me as too much of a jackass. Cheers!

Free Your Mind, Indeed

If someone told me a year ago that I'd be negotiating a contract with En Vogue, I would have laughed in their face. Yeah, I really am. Neat.

So, in honor of the occasion - my favorite En Vogue videos - "Whatever" and "Free Your Mind."





Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'ISM!

Can I Get WIth Ya' Baby?

"Let me think about it."

I am so f'n addicted to this track. LOVE IT. My dear friend BH sent me the extended mix and then the link to this video. Needless to say this track has been on repeat all day.

I love the fact that cutie vanilla latte jumps his happy ass in that pool of go-diva chocolate.

Yay for the Danish! All I'm saying is they needed to do something to redeem themselves from f'n Aqua. Barbie Girl, indeed.

I am not mad at the black light friendly finge either.

It's All About Me

I haven't been feeling top shelf lately. I think I'm battling something - I blame JD. He was under the weather last week and convinced all of us he wasn't contagious. Well, at least I might have that really sexy, deep voice he was sporting towards the end of his illness - pure baritone.

At any rate, I discovered this personality test while I was incapacitated so I figured I'd go ahead and take it to convince myself I'm not neurotic. As it turns out, I'm "low neurotic." Yay, me.

Here are the rest of the details:

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Cause Our Run Will Never Be Over, Not At Least Until We Say...

A lot going on - nothing printable.

Update soon, I promise.

Screaming at me, stop.

Ha, sorry for the Yoda/Jar Jar Binks moment.

Mmm Hmmmm

So I was having a blue day today. There really wasn't a particular reason for it. Perhaps it was the weather or just my time of the month, who knows?

I decided a little indulgence was in order and hopped in my car to the local Publix. And, before any of you start, they've got great carrot cake and brilliant chicken wings. I rounded up my selections and checked out.

As I was carrying my bag of goodies to my car, I ran across two Publix cashiers on a smoke break. I smiled as they carried on amongst themselves, louder than life and not a care in the world.

One sees me and taps the other one on the shoulder, pointing directly at me.

"Oh girl, he is scary cute."

To which the other girl stares at me and says "scary cute is right, mmm hmmm."

I love Publix.

Do A Little Dance

Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of something amazing? Yeah, that's where I'm at right now.

All I can do is smile.

Get ready y'all, here comes the boom.

Friends and Family

Life is back to normal, well normal for me. For a second there, things were a bit odd with the family. And when I say family, I actually mean my friends - one in the same I think.

True friends are like a big dysfunctional family; you wanna kill them sometimes but at the end of the day, you still love them. Life is a balance - life and death, good and bad, ying and yang. Even your best of friends you have to disagree with sometimes. That's just how it is.the trick is weighing out whether it's worth the drama. Usually, it is.

My favorite example is the 'ism. For years, we were just cordial to each other. As fate would have it, we're back in each other's lives.. Granted, she's thousands of miles away, but it's just geography. The heart is in the right place, you know?

You just can't walk away from friends forever, I mean you just can't disown them like you can family.

;-)

And End Scene

Patti is already back in LA. She is such an amazing person. I love how she compliments everyone she comes across.

I think one of my favorite parts of her visit was cocktails and light nibbles with DJ JM and his husband. They are such the charming couple and the four of us just dishing on our favorite tunes, DJs and such was just big fun.

We also just relaxed and enjoyed each other's company. This is a first for us as usually when we're in the same vicinity, we are working, coordinating and just drive-bying.(See: Pride, Anniversary)

I love the fact that we are as silly as school kids when we are together and that we pick up right where we left off every time. But, alas she's back in LA and I've got a whole lot of stuff in front of me. So, far now, it's an end scene. At least, that's what they say in LA.

From LA to ATL

So my dear friend Patti is in town and is staying at my place. I've known Patti for ages and she has become such a support structure for me at first on business type stuff and now more personal.

She is awesome and my west coast ninja.

Did I mention all my friends dig her too?

Now if I can only get my east coast ninja to work with my wset coast one.

Home, Sweet Home

Coming home to Ocala is such a trip to me. Seriously, there's nothing to do here but babysit.

Today, I took my nieces to Chuck E. Cheese. Ok, can we talk about all the DILTF? Just wow. I could barely concentrate on my shoot em' up game. But, defeat the aliens I did with the help of this six year old whose mom was steady eyeing me like I was on her "to do list." She was just a bit too enthusiastic about every alien I popped and each time I bailed her son out of instant death via acid blood.

I played Skee-ball, longed for a Jaeger mini-bomb, ate pizza and wings, craved a strawberry and seven with a splash of cranberry, donated my won tickets to my niece, jonesed for a peach Errol shot and made dinner for the kids. Did I mention I need a drink?

Yeah, Tuesday. Drinks. Last bitch standing. That's all I'm saying...

Hair Did

I'm bored. With my ultra-Midtown gay boy haircut. So, E is on his way over and I'm getting him to give me a mohawk. He suspects it's because I'm visiting my mother.

Well, the cool thing is that a mohawk is a perfectly acceptable haircut in my profession. It shows a bold attitude, a contemporary impression with a nod to rock and roll free thinking.

Yeah, I asked my boss his opinion first. Shut up.

it's Just Dem Rainy Dayz...

It's raining. My roof is leaking. The cable is out.

On the upside, it should get cooler out, Patti will be here in a week and I get to skip outta town soon.

And, the countdown begins - the 'ism returns to Atlanta in 71 days.

From PM to AM

Ever since stepping away from directly working for a night club, getting up at the butt crack of dawn to escort disco diva Thelma Houston to her Fox 5 gig with Ferg and dealing with DG and his early bird catches the worm mentality, my sleeping schedule has shifted.

I'm now getting up long before noon and utilizing the morning hours for other activities aside from sleeping in. And, I'm kinda digging it.

Don't get me wrong, I'll always have a tendency to stay out late and pay homage to my former raver roots, I just won't be doing that nightly anymore. And I'm ok with it.

I mean I've always loved breakfast food and now I can enjoy it during its appropriate time frame. Neat.

He's the Man...

So, I just spent the weekend hanging out with my boss, DG. Well, sorta. I call him my boss, but he doesn't treat me like a subordinate, more like a peer. He respects my opinion and entrusts certain information that really wouldn't classify as a normal work relationship. And, that makes him that much fucking cooler. Hell, my ex-boss thinks DG is the shit. Hey, you know how I roll, bitches.

I can totally tell this won't turn into one of those awkward alpha-male situations either. Oh, and my friends all wanted to jump his bones. That would result in a stabbing I think. Actually, I know. I mean, one friend, we won't mention any names did not heed the collective warning of the group dynamic and stay away from the boss man. The end result was less than cozy. If it happens again, well, I think the group will be a little more apt to get to the bludgeoning. I'm just stabbing.

On tap:
Business trips to NY and Ft. Lauderdale
A visit to Mom

Posse, up.

Addendum to SURVEY SAYS...

Ok, so my dear friend (arguably BESTEST) Tyler Gambrell from London by way of umm Athens, Georgia to Atlanta, Georgia brought to my attention that I regrettably omitted her presence from question #40 - Favorite friend to get completely hammered with (or something like that).

I dearly apologize for that simply because of all the friends listed, even added up with each other, Tyler still has oh about five years worth of hungover moments over them collectively.

I heart Tyler with all my umm, heart and liver and want to take the opportunity to make amends for it.

I LOVE YOU TYLER!

(Oh and honorable mentions also go out to Patti, Phil B and Andrew.)

CHEERS, bitches!

Survey Says...

1. You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
Neither of us, we're VIP like that.

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt a new name. What is it?
Jimmy Choo

3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently:
I don't really have any animosity towards one state in particular. Anything on the "bible belt?"

4. What was the last song you downloaded?:
"Fidelity," Regina Spektor

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Yoda, 401k trade down

6. A toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
A Go-Cart

7. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
An Inconvenient Truth

8. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
"All right, you talked me into it..."

9. You're sentenced to death and it's the morning of your execution: what do you want to eat?
Nine or ten ecstacy pills

10. What's something that most people do that you've never done?:
Learned to drive a stick.

11. Before you die you want to go to:
Nepal

12. What’s the last thing you ate?:
Arroz con pollo

13. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?:
Duck billed platypus - just to see if it quacks, purrs or squeaks

14. A drug you'll never try?
An anti-depressant

15. If you were an animal, what would you be?
Either one that can fly or swim, but hopefully not one on the endangered species list cause that means I'd be pretty lonely

16. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?:
Had to marry? Yeah, as long as Republicans are in office, I never have to worry about that.

17. What's something a lot of people don't know about you?:
Umm, I'm open about everything in my life for the most part. I don't know - that I'm deathly allergic to shellfish?

18. First celebrity crush?:
Janet Jackson

19. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?:
katana blade - sharp, sleek and umm, stabby

20. Best flavor of Runts?:
Banana

21. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?:
Sourdough English muffins

22. Favorite parody movie?:
Scary Movie 1-4, favorite character hands down is Brenda:
"Cindy, this is bones - would you run from Calista Flockhart?"

Cindy: Brenda, we're best friends!
Brenda: We was - I'm a miss you, girl!

23. Worst way to die?:
Eaten alive by a swarm of insects or burned alive or anything slow and agonizing

24. Grossest injury you've ever seen?:
3rd degree burn - uggh

25. The worst injury you've ever had?:
Nothing too horrible, knock on wood. Had a Staph infection when I was a kid that nearly killed me...

26. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?:
It's more Christmas time, but cooking with Mom is always good times.

27. Sport you hate the most?:
Baseball, Racing and Golf - they're so f'n boring, no chance of injury, well a little bit in racing but that's kinda rare

28. What state in the US do you want to visit?:
Alaska, wait that's kinda lesbian isn't it? Umm, Hawaii.

29. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?:
The human body, that way I can be a surgeon and make a killing off inventing some new way of cosmetic surgery

30. Favorite Actor/Actress?:
Actor - (tie) Johnny Depp and Alan Cumming
Actress - (tie) Merryl Streep, Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench

31. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?:
"I could care less..." umm people, it's "I couldn't care less."

32. What makes an awesome party?:
Good soundsystem and lights, excellent talent, proper execution and timing, a great team, oh wait... they were probably asking about, nevermind.

33. What's your favorite material obsession?:
(tie) D&G Sunglasses and my laptop

34. What's something that most consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
Wow, you're actually nice.

35. Favorite kind of dog(s)?:
I've always been fond of Pekingese

36. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?:
(tie) Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes and fried Twinkies

37. Morning or night person?:
Night, by far

38. Weirdest E-bay purchase?:
I don't buy stuff on E-Bay

39. It’s Saturday 3AM; where are you?:
Getting home from the club and/or still there with the staff

40. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?:
(tie) E, JD, Ferg, DJ Kim Crawford, Morganza, Genre, Rachael Pryor

41. Worst job you've ever had?:
I'm one of those odd people that actually enjoyed all of his jobs for one reason or another.

42. Favorite cereal?:
Not much of a cereal person since college, but Cinnamon Toast Crunch was always in the house

43. Movie you could watch repeatedly?:
Drop Dead Gorgeous, any of the Harry Potters, Chocolat, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (note: WILLY Wonka)

44. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?:
Told an ex they were a charity case and meant it.

45. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?:
Yup, cause I would use the D.A.D.T. policy to my advantage the second I walked up to the registration desk. My friends and I also decided we would do well in any horror movie, armageddon type scenario as well. Oh, and car chases, we would do really well in those scenarios too. War, not so much.

Please Don't Stop the Music

So I've been purchasing some very bizarre tracks recently.

From American Idol Season 6 renditions of favorites (yeah, don't ask) to forgotten old jams, I've been up and down iTunes just picking out the most random shit.

So, the ones I'm quite proud of:
"Men All Pause," Klymaxx
"If You Leave," OMD
"Disrespectful (Paulo Mix)," Chaka Khan & Mary j. Blige
"Ramalama Bang Bang," Roisin Murphy
"Whine Up," Kat DeLuna
"The Way I Are (Richard 'Humpty' Vission Mix)," Timbaland
"Fidelity," Regina Spektor (sadly I heard this song in a *gag* Abercrombie & Fitch store and was so amused by it, I asked the salesfag the name of it)

And, the "I'm a dork" collection:
"Mayberry," Chris Richardson (words can not express)
"Back at One," Brian McKnight (umm, so yeah)
"Spellbound," Sherrie Lea (oh so gay)
"Freedom ('90)," George Michael (wasn't Pride a couple months ago?)
"If You Leave," OMD (double edged sword)
"Men All Pause," Klymaxx (pure 80's indulgence)

Yeah, I don't know what to tell y'all.

Molly, you in danger, girl...

It's one of the funniest lines in movie history. When Whoopi has the task of delivering a message from the Swayze to Demi from the beyond.

"You've got to tell her she's in danger!"

"You can't just say something like that to her, let me handle it. I'll tell her in my own way. Molly, you in danger, girl."

When ever one of my friends is going through it and think they're in trouble, I instantly respond with that funny-on-so-many-levels Goldberg quip.

I've had to use it a lot lately - even on people that have nothing to worry about. It just makes me laugh. Yeah, something has to be said about my taking comedy from another person's dismay.

It's just so damn funny.

And then there's "I'm a little black woman in a big silver box getting dragged down the street."

Oh, that Whoopi.

Ahh, There's the Drama

So, one aspect of my new job is having to take meetings with all sorts, even those you would consider not so desirable.

Last week, I took a meeting with some folks that are interested in opening a new spot in town. They wanted my input because of my "vast work experience."

Now, not to be funny, but I just left that gig. I'm not really interested. I am, however, interested in the travel opportunities, great money and exciting new adventures guaranteed from working with Drive and DFL.

So, all the bar owners, promoters and managers that have been trying to feverishly get ahold of me to verify, you can relax - I'm not a threat to your day-to-day.

It is nice to know that the old adage rings true: You only have to worry when they STOP talking about you.

And, they haven't.

Where is the Drama?

So, you know when everything is perfect? Great job, great friends, great times? Well, call it parnoia or life experience, but where the hell is the drama?

I'm used to deflecting incoming potential issues, shutting down the "theatre majors," and picking off the opposition. So far, with the new gig, there has been none of it. In fact, it has been smooth sailing since jump.

My only drama, and I use that term loosely is the inevitable move to New York.

Hmm, maybe the drama is there. Or, maybe, just maybe there isn't anymore drama. Who knows? New gig, new attitude. And drama? Well, drama can take a hike. Or, maybe it already has...

Drive-Bye

Ok, so I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again - I love my new gig at Drive.

I feel like such a NYC boy now. Not that I don't love my Atlanta, it's just I've pretty much done anything and everything I could do here, well that is except for owning my own club. And even that might...never mind.

After talking to my dear friend Patti in LA, I realize that there is no cap to my potential. She recently gave me the gumption to say what I had to say to some old co-workers. It was a decompression I needed. To anyone that has never been able to tell their upper-management how they truly felt, then you know exactly how empowering it can leave you. I'm still grinning from ear to ear.

Tyler, I didn't forget about you - I'll get my ass over to Western Union later on this afternoon.

Ferg, get back to work, leave ol' blue eyes alone.

JD, wake up.

Morganza, hang in there - you're doing just fine.

E, let's rock this joint.

Patti, you don't leave unless I leave. you don't jump unless I jump.

Big K, you now have all the tools you need to cement your position. You ain't going nowhere. If you go, I go and that means EVERYONE goes.

Cheers!

Nothing To See, Folks

So, in this past week;
-Ferg has moved
-JD is recovering nicely
-E has escaped the Matrix
-Morgan has taken an AM position
-I landed some new accounts and I get to work the Tiesto event with Curtis

Ok, gotta run and see if JD wants to have lunch. If he is awake/not grumpy/doped up on pain medication, then we are good to go. I'm in the mood for pasta.

Listen Up...

So I checked my Top Played MP3s again and it seems there's been a huge shake up. My listening patterns are somewhere between grooved out and heartfelt lyrical.

10. "Suddenly I See," KT TUNSTALL
9. "Am I Here Yet," BILLIE MYERS
8. "This Ain't A Scene...," FALL OUT BOY
7. "Big Girls Don't Cry," FERGIE
6. "Someone To Hold (Hard Edit)," VERONICA
5. "Raise The Roof," TRACEY THORN
4. "Over My Head (Cable Car)," THE FRAY
3. "They Say Vision (Robbie Rivera Mix)," RES
2. "It Ends Tonight," ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
1. "Apologize," TIMBALAND f. ONE REPUBLIC

First Reactions

My buddy Mike from Orlando posted this on MySpace today. It's been a while since I had done one of those quiz things, so I thought this would be pretty fun.

Okay this is called “FIRST REACTIONS QUIZ”. I have reacted to being sent this by actually filling this out. You have to type the 1ST thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 35 things. You can’t think and go back and change your answers. Copy and Paste, add one to the list, then delete answers to make them your own.

Here we go:

1. Beer: before liquor, never sicker.
2. Anorexic: She's skinny, Amber.
3. Relationships: tough
4. Purple: Hooter Shooter
5. Power Rangers: Isn't one of them doing gay porn now?
6. Weed: Not so much anymore.
7. Steroids: Dick shrinker.
8. Cartoons: Niece and nephew.
9. The President: Hillary.
10. Tupperware: Gotta wash my dishes.
11. Best vacation: Time off
12. Santa Claus: pedophile.
13. Halloween: Good times.
14. Bon Jovi: Slippery When Wet.
15. Grammar: Country
16. Facebook: Who?
17. Worst fear: Being lost and alone.
18. Marriage: Ambitious.
19. Paris Hilton: Not a bit of talent
21. Redhead: The Fray, The Weasleys
22. Blonde: Ambition
23. Pass the time: Nap
24. One night stands: Uninterested.
25. Donald Trump: I need some money.
26. Neverland: Finding, Johnny Depp, yay!
27. Pixie Sticks: hate tart candy
28. Vanilla ice cream: only if i can see the vanilla bean specs
29. High School: rotted
30. Work: I heart my new job.
31. Pajamas: only in Winter
32. Woods: Blair Witch Project
33. Wet Sock: Should have worn boots
34. Alcohol: I said no, no, no
35. Love: is a many splendid thing.
36. Sexy: Attitude, Casual Confidence
37: Chewing: Gum. Polar Ice.
38. Dave: Holmes, he's gay.
39. Candy: Mini Peanut Butter cups
40. Drink: Jaeger Mini-Bomb

Checking Out

I'm in this odd place right now. Mentally, I've completely checked out of my former gig and wholeheartedly embraced my new role at Drive. As a business person, I have to do what I have to do and help this transition happen, but it's such an uphill battle. My initial impulse is always "so not my problem" and "i don't know," but you just can't do that, you know?

Ah well, now everyone can see even if I did make it look effortless, it was anything but. There's something really cool about that. I worry about my former co-workers and the only reason I'm still transitioning the club is because I truly do not want to see any one of them out on the street. That plus it's really good karma, I hope.

I am looking forward to a healthy social life again. And, this whole getting up before noon thing? Who woulda thought it's actully pretty productive and ahem, normal. I could get used to this. Well, maybe. Ok, so maybe I haven't completely checked out and just asked for a late check out.

I Heart My New Gig...

It's only been a couple of days, but I'm loving my new gig. I'm learning a lot and I have a great boss(y). He is keen to share tips of the industry with me, how to deal with problem clients (ie people like me) and how to stick it to your enemies with the stealth of a ninja.

I'm going to like the contrast of our attitudes too. While I'm more laid back and handle things with "sarcasm, sense of humor and a snide comment" kind of guy, he's more of the "shut them down and the fuck up, I'm the shit and now you know why" variety.

Oh, and my new e-mail addy is:

arman@drivenyc.com

Good times.

When One Door Closes...

...a new window opens. Or something like that. This past week ended my term at WETbar. This upcoming week kicks off a brand new adventure for me. Just to give everyone a hint - think of what I just wrapped up doing and now think of the same line of work, just on the opposite side of the contract. Yeah, it means ending up in NY or LA, but for now I'll be doing everything remotely from Atlanta. And, to be honest, I've never been so hyped up about a new gig in my life.

I think the most fitting part of it all is that I get to continue working with the people I love.

Stay tuned, y'all.

Click, Click, Click

I know it’s the weather outside and/or the possible brownout caused by everyone having their air-conditioning on maximum settings thanks to the oppressive heat, but my power keeps going in and out, in and out, in and out.

Nah, it simply can not be that easy. I decided it must be some elf, goblin, or other magical creature that thought it would be funny to play with the powerstrip my apartment is plugged into.

I love the fact that my laptop, iPod and Blackberry are fully charged and I can sit here, for the time being, jamming out to music, check my e-mail and bitch to friends via text message. What kind of sense is that?

Neat.

Anti-Depressant

All right, so I got to meet one of my favorite authors a little over a year ago. Augusten Burroughs was on a book tour promoting his, then, new book Possible Side Effects.

Yeah, so I'm just now getting around to reading it and I swear to God, it's the funniest fucking book. Ever. The man is probably one of the best story-tellers of modern times.

It is seriously the best anti-depressant since AbFab.

Validation

Ok, so those of you that know me know I can put some people up on the proverbial pedestal. Now, while most of the time I could give a shit what people say/think about me; I do appreciate a compliment now and again.

Well, one of the people whom I have an enormous amount of respect and allegiance to is nightlife guru Bill Kaelin. I consider him a mentor of sorts as he taught me so much about working in nightlife and the smoke and mirrors of PR and marketing.

Mr. Bill called me today just to tell me how impressive he found WETbar's turnaround since applying my makeover to it. Truth is that it was a team effort and the crew as a whole deserves kudos, but the compliment was an ego-boost. I kinda needed it.

To be completely honest, in my professional resume, WETbar would be one of my proudest achievements. It was just a nice validation, ya' know?

Aww, That's Nice

Have you ever had one of those perfect weekends where the birds are chirping, you don't run late, everyone seems to be agreeable, the weather is tolerable and the casualites are at a bare minimum?

Well, I never do.

Everyone's timing is usually off, people can't help but to outquip each other and SOMEONE is always passive/aggressive (ahem, Ferg).

Well, this past weekend was practically perfect in every way. Ferg was back from London and the boys all met up to catch the first of Kathy Griffin's two sold out back-to-back shows at the Fox. My only complaint was the asshole behind us who seemed to feel it was his job to repeat every one of Kathy's punchlines, except in an annoying, high pitched delivery. His cologne was rotted too.

Saturday marked the arrival of Veronica and Chad Jack back to Atlanta. I heart both of them. They're both really cool, talented people and knocked it right outta the park on Saturday night. I mean, really though Veronica did the ten minute extended mix of "Someone to Hold" and had the boys eating out of the palm of her hand. Her husband is really f'n cool too, btw.

Sunday was very laid back and unproductive. I ordered delivery twice, watched my favorite movies over and got even more acquainted with the Arman-shaped dent in the couch.

Like I said, practically perfect in every way.

Are we on COPS again?

So, the big K calls me earlier and asks if I'm near the club. I was at home, which is maybe five blocks away.

"Yup, what's going on?"

The alarm had been tripped. She suspected E was down there doing his liquor counts and perhaps set it to "Alarm Occupied," which pretty much means that there are people in the building but if someone tries to come in, they set it off. However, she couldn't get E on the phone so she would feel better if someone went down there to take a look around. The police had already been dispatched and they would meet me there.

I get to the club within minutes and see the officer outside. He checks with our security company to make sure I was on the safe list. We walk in the club and it's completely trashed.

"Yeah, you've been broken into."

I smile at him and tell him, no, that the cleaning crew doesn't come in until Monday and that the club looks exactly how we left it last night.

Everything seemed in order and we went outside to the water garden where the alarm was triggered. Sure enough, some crackhead was sound asleep on one of the couches. He tells me it "might get ugly."

I smile again, like I don't see crackheads thrown out of the club on a nightly basis. Hell, Mr. Officer even had his black gloves on - as B-Mack (our head of security) had told me when he first started "the gloves come on when shit is about to pop off."

Mr. Officer wakes up the crackhead intruder and demands what he's doing there. The crackhead says "I was sleeping, why you bothering me?"

Let's see, cause you broke into the property, triggered the alarm, had our security company call the authorities and alert management that the property had got broken into? Take your pick, all of them apply.

At this point Mr. Officer and I are extremely annoyed. C'mon now, seriously? Mr. Officer goes off and tells him he broke into the property which the crackhead argues "it's not like I went into the club and I know it's a club for white caucasians."

Umm, white caucasians?

At this point, I can't help myself.

"Do I look fucking white to you, asshole?"

He just glares at me. At this point though, he's in handcuffs and I'm, well, I'm entertained.

Mr. Officer throws the crackhead into the back of the car and then asks me for my information which I gladly give him.

Call anytime. No, seriously. Anytime.

I do a quick looksy around the club for good measure and set the alarm again. I check the R-Berry and see that both K and E had sent text messages.

E: "Cuff 'em."

K: "Press charges."

Way ahead of you kids. If I had to leave the comfort of my home on a Sunday against my will, someone is going downtown.

Conflicted

Say it with me, class. I'm conflicted. Again. So, today has been pretty interesting - I've gotten a lot of work/laundry done waiting on a package that never arrived, but you can't cry over spilled porn. (Long story and before any of y'all start - it's for work, no seriously. Hello, Thursday night is porn night - ahh, now you get it. Moving on...)

So, Ferg may not be moving to London. Part of me is jumping up and down with glee, yet part of me is sad for him because it's something he truly wanted. That same sad part is also gloomy because Tyler could use some "back home" love. See my confliction? I couldn't imagine what he's going through, but I will be there to happily fulfill my obligatory duties as his friend to kick back some shots and watch as he plays pool with the finesse of a sledgehammer.

I'm also pretty conflicted about other things. I'm second guessing some things right now and wondering if I made the right decisions. Yeah, that's the downside of being a Pisces - you analyze everything from every direction. Over and over. And then, you feel guilty about it. Or sad. Or happy. Or indifferent. But, hardly ever happy or enthusiastic.

Yeah, it's the word of the day and it seems to be spreading. Rapidly.

Uggh, not good.

Dear London,

Please stop taking away my friends.

Thanks,
Arman

Settle down, Sister

It seems E has been saying that to me a lot lately. I dunno what's wrong with me - maybe it's the full moon. While some people may be able to conceal their anguish, anxiety or aggravation, I'm the exact opposite. My face is so expressive that it gives me away every time. And, lately, it's been a look of being near volatile.

I'm hoping it's just stress related especially with ol' Bessy in the shop again and needing major repairs done and overall work stuff. All that is temporary though and relatively easy to manage, so hopefully it is just the full moon. I mean it does influence the tide and shit so it just may have an effect on emotions too. Well, that's the story and I'm sticking to it. Hmm, that is unless this funk continues.