Just A Dream, Just A Dream...

Last night, I had the worst f'n nightmare EVER. I woke up in cold sweats and could not get back to sleep.

So, we were in the middle of the event which I haven't released to the public yet and looking hella-cute I might add. Biz-Won-Rah, Ferg, RB, Platypus and Sensei were all around me as the party raged on. We were packed to the rafters and everyone was having a blast.

Then, the power goes out.

All of us looked at each other and simultaneously yelled out "Fuseboxes!"

We all darted down to the basement to do what - I have no idea. I figured between Biz-Won-Rah and Sensei, they'd have the problem fixed and/or rigged within minutes.

We get there and all of Atlanta's promoters (and former club owners) are standing in front of this mega-huge power switch clearly pointed to OFF. All of them were talking shit.

Biz-won-rah and Sensei were actually calculating how long it would take to take them all out and get back upstairs to keep the event going. It took all of a split-second really. Next thing I know, all of Atlanta's promoters and former club owners were literally in pieces all about the basement (no blood though).

It takes all of us to move the Power switch back to ON. We run back upstairs to rejoin the crowd.

In the short while we were downstairs, the venue had completely emptied out. Tumbleweeds, crickets, all of it.

It was awful.

I Hereby Declare

This is not a threat.

This is simply a declaration.

I'm getting back into Atlanta Night Life. You bitches had well over a year to get it together and keep the party going. You failed - miserably.

And, I'm backed by the DRIVE Talent family.

I don't care what anyone else is doing. Seriously, I don't. I think they should care what I'm doing though.

Addendum to Arman, The Vermin Slayer

To his credit, Biz-won-rah did tell me to "sing to the mouse."

Much like all of you, I ignored it.

Arman, the Vermin Slayer

Some of you dear readers may remember when yours truly had an issue with a certain furry roommate.

Well, it seems it didn't warn its brethren before it kicked the bucket. I had yet another one of those little fuckers running around the house in the past couple of weeks. I've finally figured out why too. You see, I don't have pets. Everyone else in my building has a cat or maybe a dog or two running around to keep these bastards at bay. Me? I have a couple of stuffed animals and cute furniture.

I don't keep food out and my apartment stays relatively clean at all times, but that doesn't guarantee a pest free environment. Apparently.

This one was a little tricky. He had managed to break free from one glue trap already and I assumed he had learned his lesson since I no longer saw trails of cereal or english muffins scattered about. So, there I was watching tv in my bedroom when i heard a series of taps. I take a peek into the kitchen and yup, there he was trying to wiggle himself free from the second glue trap.

Motherfucker.

I calmly walked into my office and took the liner out of my Ikea trash can. I took it into the kitchen and placed it upside down over the mouse and its new glue trap appendage. Yeah, did he really start climbing all over it like one of those motorcyclists in the metal cage at the circus? I mean, he was f'n hyper. I was so convinced he would eventually break free that I actually put a heavy box of promotional Deborah CDs on top of it.

He was so energetic that I couldn't do much else but talk shit and text/call friends. Now, I love my friends, but they were completely useless.

Following is a list of advice and/or commentary from the nearest and dearest:

-Kick it. (This was vetoed immediately because it meant I may inadvertently touch the filthy creature.)
-Drown it in a trash can. (Ok, all of my trash cans are metal mesh - stylish and cute I might add. I was then ridiculed for having good taste.)
-Put it in the freezer. (Are you f'n kidding me? There's frozen yogurt and a Boston Market Pot Pie in there - no ma'am.)
-Aww, poor mousey. (Seriously?)
-LOL (from a total of at least three people)

Since the glue traps had advertised an anesthetic component to them, I figured it would eventually knock the fucker out so I could dump his unconscious ass into a trash can and throw him away. And, two hours later, he was still flying around the upside down Ikea trash can.

I ripped an old month from my desk calendar and slid it underneath the trash can. He got even more excited and started lapping around even faster. I then folded the excess of the paper upwards and duct taped it into place. If he broke out of that shit, I would have fed the motherfucker table scraps until it died of natural causes. Or a coronary - which ever came first.

I then took a Hefty cinch sak and dropped the entire thing inside. Hey, it may be cute and stylish (the trash can) but it's still from Ikea and I can justify another five dollars for a new one. I tossed it in the outside trash can along with the rest of the trash inside my house. What happens to "the poor mousey" is no longer my concern. He's out of the house and I did it without killing it on the spot - my karma is free and clear.

AND, I managed to get rid of it without risking my frozen yogurt, accidentally touching it or having it slip away from the glue trap by adding water. "LOL" that, bitches.

It's Too Laaaaaaate

So, all apologies for once again being out of the loop. Things have been hectic 'round hurr.

Writing has been such an obstacle as of late. Here's why: I start a blog and I'm into it - throwing around cute little anecdotes and metaphors, but then the phone rings. Here's the thing, these phone calls tend to get drawn out because there's a lot of ground to cover. Then, I get back to me blog and I'm no longer motivated. Sad, but true.

So, I'm forced to put up video clips and surveys that catch my attention while I'm supposed to be on conference calls.

Now, with that said, here's a quick list of what's coming up:

-DC's in town this weekend for some promotional show. I get to be her bitch. The show is called "For the Sistas" or something like that - you do the math.

-Janet on Oct. 5 - I'm f'n DIZZY over this

-Producing a fundraiser for a Georgia Senator candidate - so not my wheelhouse, but totally a cool spin on what should be a stuffy event.

-Producing another event for Halloween - good times, details soon.

-WETbar is closing September 27. I can't lie - this one is bittersweet. More on this later - maybe. Can I be anymore passive-aggressive?

-Sensei DG is in luv (note the spelling) - I'm like snap out of it, hooker. I need you to focus.

-Project Runway - most annoying cast yet. I'm so in love with Korto though - she's my pick to win the big prize. I also feel like Leanne and Terrell will be up in the mix.

Ok, on a more upbeat and happy note, my mom recently had an x-ray during a routine checkup. The x-ray resulted in a "shadow" in her lungs which put me in a complete headspin. She had a CAT scan done recently and the doctors ruled out cancer. Thank you to all the high f'n powers for that. I'm so going to start doing more charity work.

And, end scene.

I'm So Glad To Be A Democrat

I heart Mr. Stewart.