Mariah Carey is Kinda Scary...

Late Wednesday afternoon, I got a phone call from my buddy Tim.

“What are you doing tonight?”

Without embarrassment or hesitation I told him I was watching this week’s and last week’s Project Runway.

“I’ve got extra tickets to see Mariah Carey tonight if you want them. I can’t go.”

Now, for the record, I sorta like Mariah Carey. I really like her ear-worming up-tempo stuff (i.e. anything produced by Jermaine Dupri), but her ballad shit has got to go (see “Hero”). Hell, I probably have a copy of Emancipation somewhere in my stack of promo CDs. I hold no judgments regarding her emotional/mental breakdown or her slut phase. We all have them, it’s just we’re smart enough not to get booked on TRL or Cribs when the medication is out.

I told him I’d take them off his hands and called NPB. Of course she said she’d go. I suspect she would go see U2 in drag if she had a chance. The other abandoned tickets went to Mathew (one T) and his buddy Eddie. We had a great time. Mariah’s voice, as per usual, was amazing. Despite her many flaws, the bitch can sang the house down. As far as stage presence, well Heather Daniels could have replaced Mariah -- even without a rehearsal. This bitch didn’t do shit on stage but mug. The fabric on her dress(es) moved faster than she did. Oh and why wasn’t every outfit rhinestoned into oblivion? C’mon now, all those Number Ones and Grammy’s and you can’t wear anything that sparkles during your World Tour? Bad, fag hag, bad.

I will say this though; Mariah has got some really influential peeps in da’ ATL. How about Da’ Brat popping up on stage? Then we had Jermaine Dupri’s three foot ass on the other side of the stage. Sorry kids, that’s an ATL exclusive, you won’t be seeing that in LA, Topeka or Ontario. I was half expecting T-Boz, Chilli and Big Boi to jump up there too.

I had to wonder if Janet was waiting on Jermaine at home to cuss his ass out the second he walked through the door. Jermaine would be all "honey, I'm home" and Janet would be talkin’ all “You went to that bitch’s show?” Shut her down, Janet, shut that shit down.

As MC went through her show, I had to admit I caught myself bopping to at least half her set. The bitch has had some hits and then some. Ok, another sidebar, but can Trey Lorenz please find another gig? Or at least a decent record label that will actually promote him? The man has got talent, but there’s only one Nikki Harris, know what I mean? Oh, and Trey, did you actually take Mariah to Fat Matt’s or did you just grab her some take out? Not this bitch got a fish sandwich either. Girl, it’s all about the ribs and half-chickens.

But I digress; overall I liked the show and had a great time. I really need to stop picking apart production value and enjoy them for what they are.

(PS All apologies for the previous post being so melancholy. I had to get it out of my system. Oh, and thanks for all the encouraging words from all of my dear friends.)