Can't Wait

I can't wait until Pride this year. It's just around the corner. All the clubs and bars are already getting geared up with their weekend events. And, I'm loving every minute of it. You see, Pride will always have a special place in my heart. I love all the freaks, shirtless men, PFLAG families and even the completely insane organized religion enthusiasts that come out to Piedmont Park each year.

I'm one of those weirdos that enjoys the comradery, can appreciate the Stonewall Riots and its commemoration and, of course, the money. Each year Pride tends to be the most lucrative time of the year for any of us that work in the entertainment industry. 'Cause you know you faggots love to be entertained. All my DJ, drag queens and performance artist friends just rake in the dough with double and triple bookings per night.

It's usually enough to get me through whatever financial crunch I'm in. Yay, Pride. I'm proud to be part of you each year. Through all the drama, the rain, the chaos and corporate machines, I haven't lost touch of the real reason of Pride -- it's a weekend just for me, my soul, my freedom and financial gain.

Just kidding. Well, sorta.

Stupid Shit

I've decided I can't fault people for the "stupid shit" they do. I can't say shit about shit because lately I've been embracing my own penchant for doing the stupidest shit.

I'll admit it...

...I love a good stupid movie that won't win any awards. I was giddy about Underworld: Evolution, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and now, Scary Movie 4. Critics hate the types of movies I tend to love and watch over and over.

I fuckin' loved Scary Movie 4. Then again, I loved the first three. I completely adore Anna Farris and Regina Hall. I was literally in tears watching it. And yes, I'll probably go see it again. And again. And then buy the DVD on its first day of realese. I'm all for spoofing the Grudge, Saw, Brokeback Mountain, War of the Worlds -- all of which I found completely bland. Long live satire.

...I'd rather eat at some Buffet joint than at the gay establishments. Oh yeah, I love em' all, bring on the Chinese, the Home Country and any other place that you can pile mass amounts of food on your plate, take a couple of bites and then go back to start over if you change your mind. And, at most of these places, you pay before you go in and just hit it when you've had your fill.

Don't get me wrong, I'll completely patronize the gay establishments, but let's face it, the food and service usually suck and it sucks bad. Here's my beef with the all queer all the time spots: you tend to know all the servers so if your service sucks, you can't really complain to management; the food is just blah, not very exciting and always too SOMETHING; eating takes forever cause you're too busy cruising, chatting or waiting for your server to stop their drag show and/or arguing with their boyfriend on a cell phone.

...I take naps and get cranky without one. It's true. I love my naps. I think they're completely underrated. Am I digressing? Probably, but I truly don't care.

...I can't help myself most of the time. You know that tiny little voice in your head that tells you when you shouldn't be doing something that you know isn't good for you? Yeah, I've got that bitch tied up with duct tape on her mouth.

"Sure, I'll have just one more drink."

"It's a great idea to call he-who-shall-not-be-named after that just one more drink."

"It makes perfect sense to keep calling even if he doesn't pick up the first two times."

Yeah, say it with me class. That's some stupid shit.

I'll take it TO GO

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

Oh yeah? Well, can we speed it up a bit? This one sucks, I think I'd rather start tomorrow.

So, you know that scene in Clueless where Cher and Dionne are trying to comfort Ty in the restaurant after she finds out Elton doesn't actually like her? All of a sudden, "Rolling wit' my Homies" starts playing and she breaks down and starts banging her head against the table screaming and crying that this was "mine and Elton's song!"

Yeah, that almost happened yesterday. With Pearl Jam's "Jeremy." At Vortex. Pathetic.

It gets easier, right?

Class? Anyone? Anyone?

On another note, driving through the Dogwood Festival aka "Straight Pride" (thanks Genre) sucks. Get the fuck out of Midtown and take your inbred baby carrying strollers with you.

I love me some Elephant Ears and Funnel cakes though. Yum.

Hmm, if today is the first day of the rest of my life, then I'm going back to bed. It's nice and warm there. Not to mention no Pearl Jam or straights with baby strollers. I do want another funnel cake though. Extra powdered sugar, please.