My AIM

Instant messages are dangerous. It’s the “power of the keyboard.” People just say things they normally wouldn’t say in a more intimate setting aka face-to-face. Let me revise that, normal people say things they wouldn’t say in a typical setting. Then, there are the special cases like drag queens, Type As, moi that could give a shit and say and do what they please.

But I digress; my point is that instant messages are dangerous. Take today for example. My buddy Scott was online so I zipped him an IM saying “King Kong me daddy.” Now, before any of you start, Scott and I have been conspiring to see King Kong in the near future, hence the opening line.

From there the conversation just got more interesting. I truthfully joked about longing to be submissive, but figured my reflexive penchant for quips didn’t make me a strong candidate to be a boy. I could just picture the scenario now.

Master: Get on your knees, boy.
Me: Have you lost your damn mind?
Master: Enough of that lip. (Stuffs ball gag in my mouth.)
Me: Mmm mmm mmm-mmm mmm mm mm! (Translation: Get this fucking thing off me!)

So, there I would be living out my fantasy and can’t even mutter the safety word because my master got tired of my lip.

That’s when I realized how vanilla I truly am. I don’t like added accessories with my sex. Hell, I don’t like additional people. I even fast-forward through the threesomes and orgies in porn. In one IM, I discovered that not only was I vanilla, but a prude to boot.

This truly was not a good self realization for someone that considers himself as a progressive thinker.

There I was in one instant message discovering my true identity as a vanilla prude with a ball gag stuffed in my mouth for being a smart ass. Instant Messages are truly dangerous.