Speed of Gossip

So, light and sound are supposedly the fastest things in the universe. Personally, I think the speed of gossip is somewhere between light and sound.

In the past two days, both of my phones have been ringing off the hook with inquiries of what happened at work. Damn fuckers, do you have a hidden camera in the office? Honestly, it's none of your fucking business, why don't you ask him? If he tells you, then it's all good, but it's not my story to tell. Perhaps it's my 102 degree fever talking, or it's all the severe cold and sinus medication in my system. I'll get back to y'all on that one.

So, I met the big boss the other night. From what I've heard, I should fear him - a lot. But, I don't. Personally, I think he's pretty fucking funny and charming actually. Then again, I appreciate candor. Hmm, come to think of it, I was drugged up that night too, I'll get back to y'all on that one.

I wonder if he thought I was some crackhead with glazed over eyes and a thirty second reaction time. Who knows? Y'all would probably know before I do.

After all, the speed of gossip is somewhere between light and sound.