Stunts, Riggings and the Curse of the Double TD

I’m a bit disheartened y’all. I know awards and accolades shouldn’t really mean anything, that the journey itself is its own reward and all that yoga/pilates/zen garden gibberish, but what happens when the deserving get completely shafted?

Let me tell y’all about the Curse of the Double TD. About two years ago, a major part of Atlanta nightlife (see: drag queens) was blessed/cursed with the resurrection of a certain citywide pageant. Some of the A-list pageant names came out to represent as well as a few of Florida’s well noted.

Being an event producer, what amazes me is that the rules and regulation shifted on several occasions and were never posted for validity. One contestant was told certain rules, another was told differently. This is neither here nor there, but this type of uncertainty would make several people make mental notes.

The following year, the pageant’s contestants doubled due to the strong support from neighboring bars and clubs. As the pageant got closer to its date, the rules changed again. Yes, you must have won a preliminary to enter the contest. Oh wait, that one contestant won an alleged “preliminary” two years ago and that other contestant just gave up a national title that prohibited her from entering smaller scale contests so what “preliminary” did she compete in? Color the contestants and preliminary hosts ten shades of confused. TD1 (think the code word to Crystal Meth) would answer a prospective contestant’s question one way, TD2 (think Frosted Flakes) the polar opposite.

Where are those damn rules?

The outcome of the pageant wasn’t ever in question to the audience. They had chosen their champion. So, when their champion was named the 2nd runner up, the “stunt” flag was thrown. But alas, the scores are the scores, even if the entire judges’ panel consisted of a former national pageantry system which was the same one that prohibited one of the surprise contestants from entering smaller scale contests. This same contestant also went on to win that night over the people’s champion. Not to mention that the second of the surprise contestants took first runner up status with an extremely questionable presentation and talent. Curious.

And, where the hell are those rules and regulations again?

Oh yeah, no where to be found.

Fast forward to this past Monday, how did the Double TD manage to get the ATL’s infamous dick dancer club to buy a preliminary contest? They don’t even have drag shows, just nude men. Six contestants at $125 a pop; not a bad take. A week ago, the theme was one thing, this week it was the same theme, just a little bit more specific. And, that little bit could change the outcome of the pageant. Oh, and it really did.

At least two of the contestants are close friends and with an objective eye, I watched the entire Presentation category. These two dear friends burned that category to the ground. At the end of the night, neither of them would be crowned. The winner had everyone in the audience dumbstruck. You see, there were a few questions regarding the outcome:

• Why was the Double TD judging the preliminary to their own pageant?


• Why did one of the other judges get up from the table during talent?


• Why didn’t the Double TD catch this judge before she completely walked away from the judges table?


• Why were they going to let it all slide until one of the host bar’s entertainers called it out?


• How did the winner win when her Presentation and Talent carried no entertainment value?


• Why was the winner selected before the pageant even started?

And, just to make your brain hurt, let's consider a few more things:

• Why did the preliminaries drop from about ten to oh two (including the Monday night fiasco of a preliminary?)?

• During last year's preliminaries, why didn't the previous year's reigning queen ever appear to perform or represent the system?

• Why did their current queen hit it right out the door after she finished her two performances?

• In three years worth of contests and preliminaries, why hasn't there ever been a set of rules posted anywhere?
  

• Why is the Double TD so fucking rotted?
  

Stunts, Riggings and the Curse of the Double TD, y’all are a smart bunch; you know who I’m talking about. Yeah, it IS all a bit disheartening ain't it? I'm holding a silent protest on this one and you guys know how silent I can be.