Tick Tock Tick Tock

So, I have to leave tomorrow for family incarceration. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hanging out with my Mommy. Or my sister-in-law, Heather, but the rest of the family can be overwhelming. I don't know if it's residual animosity from adolescence, but there's always an argument brewing before I even step foot through the door.

Usually, the brothers can get me to play some War game on their XBOX (usually cause they need another player to complete the "mission") but I ALWAYS suck at it. I like my shoot em' up games a little more simple - shoot to the outside of the screen to reload, shoot the little weapon icon to switch from handgun to shotgun to machine gun, but their shit is soooo complicated. They got me pushing all these crazy buttons and I always end up going through my five "lives" within seconds it seems. Yeah, that's pretty much the extent of the brotherly bonding.

Ok, well, I'm dead now, I think I'll head into the kitchen and bake a cake or arrange something.

But, I digress, I've got so much to do, but so little time. My crux is that I've got a major event on the horizon in NYE, but I'm obligated to the family. I've said it before and I stand by it, families are a hierarchy, you drop whatever you're doing when you're summoned. It's not that I don't trust the team, they know how I like things and don't doubt their abilities, it's just NYE is hardly the time to put those abilities to a test.

Thank f'n GOD for Wi-Fi and my BlackBerry, that's all I'm saying.

Oh, Balls...

Next week is Christmas.

Where the f*ck did December go?

My NYE Campaign

She's so pretty that Kristine W. And, I can't lie, if I wasn't repping Chad, I'd totally be his groupie.

Beat Down By Trannies and Queens

So, last night, the girls came over to my place for "Game Night" which, last night, consisted of pizza and Uno of Death (actually "Uno Attack" but it gets rowdy around here). You see, with Uno of Death, there's a little machine that replaces the traditional "Draw 2" or "Draw 4" cards. The mechanism actually has a button that spits out cards in random quantities and sometimes not at all.

Yeah, I got my ass handed to me by NPB, Alexandria and Bianca. I had the unfortunate placement of having to go after either Alexandria or Bianca and I paid the price EVERY turn, not to mention, Alexandria cheats. She was steady announcing everyone's hands if they were careless with their hand placement and her line of vision. Luckily, NPB was far enough away in the rotation that I couldn't hurt her and vice versa.

Hell, I didn't even win a round until near the very end. Every other round, I had like six to ten cards left in my hand. It was a sad state of affairs.

Next week, we're playing Sorry of Death. Get ready whores.

See, THIS is why I can never own an XBOX or Wii.

Stuff I'm Working On...

I haven't always been the biggest fan, but I'm curious about the pageantry of it all.

Yeah, I said it. Say something...

TOY PARTY!

It's this Sunday - if you want to keep your soul, you'll attend.

Yesterday, RB and I popped into Target to buy the toys for the Navigation crew.

Honestly, we had more fun than we should have - and, true to form, we bought toys that we would want to keep for ourselves.

I found myself wanting to buy the classic EZ Bake Oven just because I wanted one as a child.

RB looked at me and thoughtfully pointed out that we probably shouldn't buy anything that requires purchasing of more stuff: batteries, EZ Bake Batter Mix, etc.

This reminded me of a few years back when I went to Toy Party with Brad Williams. He was like "where's your toy?" I smiled and proudly took out two DVDs from my jacket pocket "Elf" and "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory."

He goes, "those are cute and all, but umm, these kids are poor. What makes you think they have DVD players?"

Huh. Hmm. (Sigh.)

New Campaign

To be honest, as far as performers go, the outcome was never really in question. ATL just loves them some...

F'n Pay Attention

So, yesterday Bianca and Eric came over for leftover lunchy goodness. I absentmindedly threw the squash casserole in the oven while I modified other leftover ingredients into a nice fried rice side dish. The fried rice came out stellar, as did the nuked up turkey, ham, stew and stuffing.

Yeah, when I went to check on the squash, I was greeted by the lovely smell of melted plastic. Really? Did I throw it in there without taking the tupperware cover off of it?

F'n idiot.

Hope the homeless don't mind picking plastic out of their squash when they go through the garbage.

BTW, my place looks like a f'n speakeasy now. I have all this alcohol everyone left over from Thanksgiving. And, for the record, nothing is more fun than a bunch of friends playing drunken Uno of Death. I will concede to Alexandria though, she IS the Uno queen. For now.

(Sigh) Sorry Y'all...

My blogging is contingent on:

A) Time constraints - the busier I am, the less I even think about me blog
B) Inspiration - when I find things interesting, stressing or funny as fuck, I use this space as my therapy.

Lately, my updates have tapered off because of A.

However, here's a list of things I've been up to:
-NYE - shit's gonna be good y'all
-Mommy's feeling better!!!
-Twilight - just obsessed
-Flirting with CC, just thumpa thumpa
-Talking shit with MH (he's f'n awesome)
-Dinner with Ultra, good times - met Chris Willis of David Guetta vocalist fame, I may just love him
-Circus Tour
-Sending KW to Bangkok

I'd promise for details later, but we all know that shit ain't gonna happen.

Happy Trannies and Toddies Thanksgiving, y'all!

Beautiful U R

Beautiful U R

Ultra Returneth

So, Ultra is coming back to Atlanta for a recording session with Chris Willis (think "Just A Little More Love" by David Guetta and the other voice on Ultra's "Give It All You Got").

We get to have dinner since, on Halloween, we really didn't have time.

Yay! I heart she!

Passive Aggressive

I think people need to learn to be less of it.

Patience

Apparently I need to learn how to be more of it.

It's just so exhausting.

It's Deborah Day!

One of my favoritest artists to work with, Deborah Cox has a new album available today in stores and on iTunes.

I can't lie, I was totally skeptical at first, but I really do like it. Even Perez Hilton gave her props for "Beautiful U R."

Decide for yourself, take a listen at NAVIGATIONatl.com.

Always the Bridesmaid?

So, I recently got approached to plan a wedding. Since this person is a friend of a friend, I couldn't just say "no" right off the bat. I said I'd consider it, but then realized what would straight folks do without us gay boys to make their lives more beautiful - in this case, a flawlessly executed wedding?

After further consideration (not to mention infuriation at Prop. 8 in California), what if every gay wedding planner, florist, chef, wedding cake baker, gown designer flat out refused to do their respective jobs until they, too, could get married?

Fuck up our weddings? Well, let's see how well you deal without us putting together yours!

In all reality, I'll probably end up taking the offer - the budget is pretty impressive and who doesn't love a good wedding? Especially, when you can't have one of your own.

Say it with me class: conflicted.

Maybe I Shoulda Been A Teenage Girl...

So, I just bought tickets to the midnight screening on 11.21 for this:


I do realize that qualifies me as a teenage girl (sans the Zac Efron, Jonas Brothers, High School Musical infatuations - my nieces are INFATUATED with that shit and I don't get none of it), but it's totally not my fault. Granted, Harry Potter was of my own accord, but this one I blame on RB. Yes, da' protege was all, READ THIS! So, I did. And, I blasted through the entire lot of them in two weeks. She's quite a remarkable writer this Stephanie Meyer.

I bought four tickets (one for me, one for da' Protege are spoken for), just on the off chance I'm shunned by my social circle - anyone interested in coming?

I promise not to squeal like a little girl with a skinned knee (ok, so that's a lie), but I do promise to share the Twizzlers.

History Has Been Made

In 1870, black folks got the right to vote. In 1920, women received the right to vote. Tonight, at 11pm on Tuesday, November 4, 2008, the United States elects its first African-American President, Barack Obama.

In my 32 years of existence, I don't think I've ever been more proud to be an American.

VOTE VOTE VOTE

I can't lie - I'm finally buying into the claim that this is the most important election of our lifetime.

I voted early. Unfortunately, my vote will simply cancel out my brother's vote. I'm banking on my other brother's apathy to keep his ass from even voting. My mom voted in the same direction I did (Obama, just in case there was any confusion), thus saving the family name from disgrace. I can't say that's entirely true, but I digress.

Did you vote at all?

Class, discuss.

Also - here's a "Guest List" from 2004 - I hope I was right back then about Barack.

Eye Roll

Some douche bag promoter has already been knocking Once Upon A Time.

At first, I was annoyed and ready to fire back. Then, I thought about something the late Bernie Mac said on the Kings of Comedy Tour and it made me chuckle and laugh off the entire pissy comment altogether.

"You know you somebody, you know you successful when white folks show up to see you and then talk shit."

So, thanks!

Once Upon A Time.. It was only the beginning

So, the Halloween event was a HUGE success. My team and friends really came through for me when it was crunch time.

Escape was amazing, charming and hella-cool; Ultra practically tore the building down with her tiny self; Genre had jaws dropping; NPB played her part to perfection; Carla, Handlebar, Pwaulie, Curtis, Lauren, Genre's monsters, RB, Platypus, Ad-Rock, Vaden, Gay-sian, Irene all saved my life throughout the day. Morganza and Ferg and JE actually showed up; Jef will always be the President of my fan club.

Ok, so I woke up today to a text from Ultra:

Arman,
Thank you so much for having us. Accommodations and service were fabulous. We had such a good time. We wish you all the best with your parties and look forward to (deleted for several reasons). As always you and your team are awesome.
Luv ya,
Ultra & Jonathan

Navigation events will ALWAYS be executed that flawlessly. That's a promise. And, those of you that know me know I don't make promises. This time, you can go ahead and take that shit to the bank.

"There's no way to control it - it's totally automatic."

Sang on, Ultra, sang on.

(Photo Credit: Todd Cerda)

_________________________

On the lighter side of O.U.A.T.:

Taken from random conversations throughout the day:

Lauren (talking to one of the Monsters): Don't argue with him (pointing at Pwaulie), honey - this one's been to college.

Me (to Genre after breaking out half the decor): This shit is like Genre and Arman go to White Castle.

NPB (to me after I asked her why she just didn't take the elevator): No gurl, I wanted to feel like Cinderella running down them steps in the ball gown!

Ultra (to me after seeing my full costume for the first time): Baby, I've been trying to figure this out, but I can't. What are you supposed to be?
Me: (pointing to the straight jacket) Mad. (pointing to hat) Hatter.
Ultra: I get it now. Of course your ass would turn it into a riddle.

Me: Yay! You came!
Ferg: I did - can I get arrested for wearing this?
Me: (shrug)

(Navigation Staff Member towards the end of the night): Do you really need me?
Me (after glancing behind said Navigation Staff Member and assessing the potential trade): On a scale of 1 through 10, how probable is it you're getting laid?
(Navigation Staff Member): High
Me (after glancing a second time around said Navigation Staff Member at the potential trade): G'bye.